Over a year of trying and wanting to give up :( In desperate need of advice!!

Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for over a year now and as each month passes i am feeling more and more upset and depressed about it all.

We have both been checked by the Drs ..my ovaries are healthy and so are his swimmers but still nothing. I have downloaded every fertility app i can...taken 38288282 vitamins and spent a fortune on Ovulation kits and tests but still nothing.

I work in childcare and am around babies and pregnancy all the...all i see on social media is people falling pregnant after only a few months of trying..even after their first month.

Im really getting down about this all and dont know what else to do??

The thought of IVF is somthing i really dont want to do..but is starting to become an option. I feel i have noone to talk to about it all as noone i know understands what it is like to be going through this..if anyone is in the same boat or been in the same boat...i would really love some advice x

Sorry about my rant xxx

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  • Hey! Yes I'm a year and s half in. We went to the doctors after a year and they referred us for tests. If you've been trying a year, despite there been nothing seemingly wrong they have to refer you to a hospital and look into it for you. Yep you're right if they didn't find anything wrong they refer you for ivf. I get my results in 4 weeks it's been a really painful 6 months of testing and no feedback st the moment but hopefully we get answers in a month. Hope it all goes ok for you. If your ovaries are ok and your husbands sperm is ok then ivf will prob work well on you ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Thankyou...xx

  • Don't give up hope, me and my other half have been trying for 4 years, both our ovulation/semen tests came back normal so we got referred to the hospital to see a specialist. I was then put in for 2 appointments, one was an internal ultrasound scan which checks to make sure everything looks normal, the other was a dye test, where they insert dye through a tube into your Fallopian tubes and X-ray you, this shows if your tubes are working normally. The doctor will then assess your results and discuss options with you. If anything is wrong then yes ivf may be an option. I had one funded cycle on the NHS so you may qualify too depending if you 'Tick all the boxes' there's also a tablet called clomid which increases your ovulation and I've heard so many positive outcomes from that. It's hard and stressful to go through something like this especially seeing pregnancy/ babies everyday. Don't be disheartened, go get yourself referred and start the process. If you need anymore advice or just someone to chat too then this forum is great for that. X

  • Thankyou..it is just so hard seeing people who concieve naturally and so quickly and then there are people like yourselves and us who need extra help...

    IVF is just sooo expensive if we dont qualify or if the first time is unsucessful.....way beyond affordable for us.

    I will look into that tablet you mentioned aswellx

  • I hope it does work for you and they do say when you relax and take your mind away from

    It, it works. Maybe a holiday and just enjoy drinks and food and it may help if not IVF is a journey but it has made hopes and dreams come true xx

  • Hey, I'm 24 cycles in and totally know how you feel. Things aren't happening for us and I feel I've tried everything, and tried all advice given.

    I had reflexology today, she was lovely and told me to stay positive and I feel much better. My advice is no one knows how or when it will happen but to look after yourself as best you can in the meantime. And also keep communicating with your partner. Wishing you all the best! Xx

  • Hi

    I just want to say that it's normal to feel the way you do. It's hard and people don't understand unless they are going or have been through the same thing.

    My husband and I had all the tests and we had unexplained infertility. We were both unsure about having IVF too u till someone pointed out to me that no-one 'wants' to have IVF but unfortunately for some of us, it's the only way for us to have our much longed for babies! So obvious but this really helped me progress with treatment.

    Personally I would ditch the ovulation tarts. I also spent a fortune but they didn't work for me and just added to the pressure! I went for counselling which really helped and I also had acupuncture and took up tai chi which helped to relax me.

    Wishing you lots of luck x

  • Hi just to say I've been there - we're 15 months in & have found my OH has a poor sperm count so the only way forward for us is ivf/icsi....It's a lot to get your head around and a massive shock when you have to think about the fact it may not happen naturally, & then to contemplate that even with treatment we may not be successful.

    I would say though in your case it's good they haven't found anything specific wrong yet - in my area they don't refer you until you've been trying for 2yrs if this is the case, so it's good you're being offered referral earlier, and it's still quite possible it may happen naturally...don't lose hope.


  • We also went this through! 5 years of TTC, polycystic ovary syndrome, 2 failed IVFs, hyperstimulation and now I'm about to start a new cycle of ED IVF.

    We also wanted to make it in natural way and tried to linger the ivf treatment as far as possible, but sooner or later our TTC ends with IVF.

    Why donยดt you want to do IVF? Did you consult your doc about this option?

    If you are young, you should try more and more and of course donยดt forget to consult doctors. Maybe you need more profound medical examination.

  • Please have a read at some of the ladies stories on here; I promise you that you will be inspired to fight on. We have all been where you are at some point and thought at our lowest ebbs that we can't do this anymore but we can and we will. So will you. It's hard to give up on something when it's everything you ever wanted. I know it's hard not to let this journey turn you into someone you don't recognise anymore, but deep down you're still you, hold onto that. Don't give up xx

  • Thankyou all soo much for the positive feedback...im honestly seeing things differently already, by knowing i am not alone!

    How long does it take from the moment u agree to having IVF to the moment you actually get the treatment?? Xx

  • That is why we are all here! to help each other cope with our doubts and negative emotions...

    It all depends on which clinic do you want to choose and your rediness to start.

    I chose a private clinic, as I was told, you signed a contract and right after that you and your husband have some tests for hormones, blood tests, ultrasound scan of pelvic organs (in my case the clinic takes all these tests even before signing the contract), if everythingยดs fine with you, you start to take meds and then oocyte retrieval is followed, sperm pick up, invitro fertilisation and implantation...

    It's very brief description. Maybe something I forgot to write.

    Now, I'm going to do ED IVf, so it means I need time to choose a donor and wait when it will be approved by a doctor...

  • Hi Nikita,

    I have definitely been where you are and felt what you are feeling. I just finished my first IVF cycle and my husband and I have unexplained infertility (basically the doctors have no idea why we haven't conceived as they can find nothing wrong with us). If you want to ask me any questions or just chat, send me a message!

    Take heart, give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Remember you are not alone in this. Everyone here knows how you feel xx

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