3rd DE transfer failed.. the lowest I have felt.. looking for hope 🌈

[Coming_up_Roses]

Hi everyone I've just had another failed transfer with donor eggs and it has hit me so hard. My history is a 29 week loss of our beautiful boy Louis (naturally conceived pregnancy) in 2021. We then we moved to donor eggs, both to avoid a genetic condition and because my amh was low.

First transfer was a MMC at 7 weeks, second and third have failed to implant.

The donor is a friend, she was 34 at the time of donation and has two children of her own, so I'm guessing egg quality was okay. But it seems something is going wrong and I just can't believe there's more hurdles and struggle after everything (though of course sadly I know I'm not the only one in this position).

I've had blood clotting screening, thyroid antibodies test, EMMA ALICE biopsy. I had a hysteroscopy before any of the transfers so not since the D&C, so might need to repeat that?

Then I guess next step is immune testing, and I don't know why but this fills me with dread. I just feel really hopeless that nothing is going to work now and totally terrified to contemplate a life with no living children.

Has anyone been here and found a way forward? We are fortunate to have 3 DE embryos left but I think the last three years have just hit me and it's hard to imagine anything going right, and not helped by the fact I'm almost 42. 😞

[ToffeeLou]

Hello, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having such a tough journey. I don’t have any answers I’m afraid…I’m in similar situation. 2 mmcs at just over 6 and 8 weeks with donor embryos who was under 30 and I’m 43. I’m just at the start of doing the tests that you have mentioned. I understand your fears but hopefully the tests can show what’s causing the difficulties so we can get one step closer to our rainbow babies. Wishing you all the best x

[Coming_up_Roses in reply to ToffeeLou]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, you kindly replied to my leg pain question last week, and I've been rooting for you that this would be your time, I'm really sorry for your loss. I know you're right, that hopefully the tests can help bring answers and beautiful rainbows to us. I think I'm just having a particularly low couple of days, coming off the meds etc doesn't help.

Thinking of you in the next few days and hoping you find your next steps too - I'm here if you ever want to chat. Emer xx

[Doodlebug23]

I’m 48 and 20 +4 from my 7th DE transfer. No known issues. My clinic did mention RIF but just said it’s a numbers game.

Sending you lots of 🍀 and 👶🏼 ✨

[Coming_up_Roses in reply to Doodlebug23]

Congratulations! And thanks for sharing, that's absolutely wonderful 😊 Hopefully my time is just around the corner too. My clinic is definitely more focused on investigations, but I'm going to try not to stress, and just take it one day at a time

[Doodlebug23 in reply to Coming_up_Roses]

Thankyou. Just wanted to show you there is very much hope. I think failed transfer 3 probably hit me one of the hardest as I thought DE was the magic answer. My clinic put me on Bondi protocol rather than do immune etc tests.

I do think also that stress plays a factor. I really tried hard to focus on not getting stressed, which isn’t easy! Cortisol was mentioned by my clinic as not a good thing.

[Coming_up_Roses in reply to Doodlebug23]

That really means a lot, thank you. Yes I felt too that DE would be the answer, and we had made the decision not to try naturally again because we already lost one baby with a high risk of it happening again due to a genetic disorder. So I'm questioning everything now (and being unkind to myself in the process!)

Can I ask, were all your DE transfers from one donor?

Does the Bondi protocol include Prednisone? What dosage were you on and for how long?

Thanks again, I wish you a really happy healthy rest of your pregnancy 🌈🌈🌈

[MontsJ in reply to Doodlebug23]

I just wanted to say a huge congrats to you. You’ve been through a lot, what a strong and resilient lady you must be 💪

[Doodlebug23 in reply to MontsJ]

Thankyou! I don’t feel like I’ve been through so much compared to some, but everyone’s journey is different and it’s certainly been very rough going at times! I just want to show others there’s hope and just keep going for as long as you can 💖

[Wishing2023]

I’m sorry for all you have been through & how you are feeling. I am in a similar situation. 43 & 2 miscarriages over the past few years of treatment. 9 x IUI’s & 1 x own egg IVF. After moving to DE using my 31 year old sisters eggs the first 2 transfers haven’t worked. I’m about to try a 3rd time & have 4 good quality blastocysts left. I am under recurrent miscarriage & on all the highest dose of meds including steroids, blood thinners, antibiotics etc. I have just had a follow up consultation with my Dr today & she has suggested intra lipid treatment on my next cycle. She says she has had success with other patients. I need to investigate this. She also told me that she is still hopeful & hasn’t given up. That IVF is a long game but with no guarantee. Good luck to you & happy to chat more x

[Coming_up_Roses in reply to Wishing2023]

Hi Wishing, that's so tough, I'm sorry you're on this journey too. Yes we're pretty similar, even that we both are trying with eggs from someone close to us, such an incredible gift! I so hope we both get there. Have you considered testing immune markers? I'm taking a few months now to do some more testing before transferring any more embryos. I've also heard of people who've had success with intralipids with the steroids etc. Keep in touch and wishing you so much luck Xx

[Wishing2023 in reply to Coming_up_Roses]

Thank you. You too. Testing immune markers? x

[Coming_up_Roses in reply to Wishing2023]

My consultant has suggested I do the Chicago Bloods test. I'm in Ireland, I'm not sure if that's one you can do in the UK but I've seen lots of people on here testing NK cells etc using a blood test or uterine biopsy. xx

[Wishing2023 in reply to Coming_up_Roses]

Thank you. I’m already on the highest dose of steroids & that is all they do for NK cells apparently x