Looking for hope after first failed IVF ICSI cycle

[Robins53]

(Sorry for long post 😁) Sadly we received a dreaded phone call early this morning with the bad news that our 2 fertilised eggs didn't make it beyond day 3. We were due for 1 or 2 embryo transfer this afternoon (Day 5 transfer).

Obviously it is still raw but feeling a bit sore regarding the lack of information and sensitity from our clinic.

Background - I'm 38 with recently diagnosed endometriosis & large endometrioma removed from right ovary

-other half has low sperm numbers and poor motility

- we had 3 eggs collected from 4 folicles, 2 fertilised (left ovary only)

I was on highest stimms (Meriofert 450) for 12 days and was pretty pleased and grateful with our numbers considering our challenges.

I can't help but wonder if under our circumstances should we have had a day 3 transfer? It has been so stressful these last 5 days!

All the information from our clinic leading up to the cycle indicated that if we only had a small number of fertilised eggs there would be a decision over Day 3 or Day 5 transfer. This was brushed over by our embyologist.

When our embryologist called us the day after egg collection she didn't provide us any info about quality of eggs or sperm. She kept Telling me that I'm borderline and that it's their policy to always do a day 5 transfer to get a good quality blastocyst. I was a bit taken back so left if for a bit and then called her back to ask why I wouldn't be a candidate for a day 3 transfer. She said that I have the same chance with either and if they wait until day 5 and quality is poor it stops me from having to go through the 2ww in vain.

I know I could have got this outcome even if things were done differently but it really has added to our anxiety and disappointment.

Also, and this is prob me been extra sensitive with hormones- it wasn't even the embryologist who called us this morning. Someone from lab called to say there will be no transfer as unfortunately the embryos had stopped developing after day 3. No details at all just told to book in for a cycle review meeting with consultant.

I eventually phoned back to speak to the nurses to ask about my Prostap medication I was on and they are arranging for a call back this afternoon. we should have had some better info directly from the embryologist them self or perhaps invite us to the clinic to discuss and consider full picture of meds.

[Debrakay1704]

Am so sorry to hear this, it must be so hard especially as you were all set for this afternoon. I cannot give any advice on this as we had a donor egg transfer but I just wanted to say thinking of you. xxx

[Robins53 in reply to Debrakay1704]

Thank you Debra and good luck with your journey xx

[Scarlett13]

I’m so sorry to read this. I’m surprised that they didn’t tell you sooner???? Hope that you manage to get all your questions answered x

[Robins53 in reply to Scarlett13]

Thanks so much for your reply Scarlett. When we got the call from the Embryologist the day after egg collection she said that they would’nt be looking at them again until day 5 which was today. Not heard of that before. We have our review app booked for 11 April. Good luck with your journey xx

[Scarlett13]

I usually get a call on day 3 then again the morning of day 5 at my clinic. X

[Robins53]

Yeah I was expecting the same but apparently our clinics protocol is to leave them and check on the morning of day 5. I even rang back to double check due to my age and endometriosis x

[Scarlett13 in reply to Robins53]

Hmmm so no one has an update or an option of a day 3 transfer. I guess that is a big thing you need to discuss x

[Robins53 in reply to Scarlett13]

Will be raising thanks Scarlett x

[Hope76]

Hi, my first cycle my clinic checked the embryo at 3 days and recommending transferring 2 that day and freezing 1. My second cycle we got the choice to do 3 day or 5 day. I was always given detailed information regarding the quality. My most recent cycle, on day 3 the one and only embryo we had had not divided as it should and had fragmented . Therefore they did not recommend transfer. All details very sensitively given to us directly from embryologist. Am so sorry you haven’t had this and I would definitely bring up how it was handled at your review. Big hugs x

[Robins53 in reply to Hope76]

Thank you and thanks for sharing your story and sorry to hear about your recent experience. Got a list of a few things to bring up at the review, sadly got to wait until 11 April. Wishing you lots of luck for your journey x

[crisps88]

so sorry to hear your situation it sounds like you could have been treated in much more empathetic way and with more sensitivity especially if you were calling them. We had very poor quality eggs, and had a call the day after EC was 1 and then day 3 saying the other cells around it were dying so we wouldn’t probably have a transfer. Then day 5 they called and said to come in and to transfer with a 5% pregnancy chance. It’s so hard because I do agree you think with all the your husband coming in to the transfer and the pics and scan they give you , you do believe it’s real and then wait in hope to be absolutely crushed but 1000% I would rather of had that chance. I feel for you I really do x

[Robins53]

Thank you and sorry to hear about your egg quality too. It's hard isn't it. I'm guessing mine is due to poor quality and hoping to find out more on 11 April at review mtg. Wishing you lots of luck for your journey x

[crisps88 in reply to Robins53]

Thanks. We have ours 1st April. I feel like I Do and don’t want to hear it, we have actually cancelled our holiday for this so that we could just know what happened (it was only a quick sunshine break abroad to let off some steam) it’s kind of like you just know how emotional and will Be very consuming. But need to know to move on and hopefully improve the situation. So how has your clinic left things now? How do you feel about a short turnaround? You never know it might be good not to dwell and dive back in?? I think people with frozen eggs have transfers frequently, I just wish I could be a lucky buggar to have one egg! lol xxx

[Robins53]

Yes most things on temporary hold and we’ve being doing UK breaks rather than our usual holidays abroad. Currently no idea when we will be able to start again. The nurse didn’t ring me back yesterday to discuss my Prostap injection either. Will be chasing them today. I was taking this for my endometriosis and feel like I should get straight back on it but had no information. Just need time to get over these progesterone pedssarys which have made me feel bleugh and ready to start again. My egg reserve is so low and I have only one working ovary so I was delighted with 2 eggs fertilisating 🙂 fingers crossed for us both next time x

[crisps88 in reply to Robins53]

Absolutely! Two fertilised is amazing and so good and I hope it spurs you on for next time. Wow the progesterone is a beast! It made me just constantly hungry; so bloated; I put on 15lb during my first ivf cycle and only just beginning to lose it so all my self esteem went as well as our baby chance. But you know you’d do anything for a baby and if this is what we have to go through. Make sure you chase them up today and keep us updated. Xx

[Novice_knitter]

So sorry to hear this, I’ve not heard of this way of working, like you I know that you can have 3dtf based on factors related to numbers developing etc...

definitely make a big list of questions for your consultant, they are the best ones to speak to re- meds’ review. Ask re- why not 3dtf at this clinic. I wonder if Diane Arnold has any thoughts on all this - might be worth pm’ing her.

Once again, so sorry this cycle hasn’t worked out, hope you’re taking time out for yourself to recover both mentally as well as physically xxx

[Robins53]

Thank you so much for your reply I appreciate it. Feeling worse today but picking myself up to chase the nurse and my endo meds. Off work until next Thursday so having a mini UK break. I did message Diane early this morning for help thanks for letting me know. Congratulations and wishing you lots of luck with your journey xx

[Vatty]

So sorry to hear this and I understand how you are feeling we are in a similar situation as you, just found out on Sunday. Was even left a voicemial by the embryologist when I was at work I was devastated to get such heartbreaking news over a voicemail at work. Xx

[Robins53 in reply to Vatty]

Oh no that’s awful. Sorry to hear - how insensitive and so sorry you could not make it to transfer stage. Do you mind me asking if you were due a day 3 or day 5 transfer? Sending you hugs x

[Vatty]

Sorry I should have said we had a transfer done, even then I knew by the way they were talking the eggs were of no quality and was a tick box and they left the voicemail the next day to say the remaining egg hadn’t fertilised. Absolutely gutted. I really hope your journey is more positive. I don’t know what we will do next I have a low ovarian reserve and had many miscarriages Xx