(SENSITIVE) Do we try again?

[EmyTW]

I’m 36, so lucky to have two beautiful, healthy children (both ICSI babies), but I had always dreamed of three.

I don’t want this to come across as insensitive in anyway (the reason for our infertility is as a result of years of chemotherapy my husband endured, after being diagnosed with an aggressive Lymphoma just after we got married, that stole soo much from us); but three was out number, what we talked about, what we thought our family would look like. I just don’t know if I have it in me (emotionally and physically to try again). We recently had an FET with our last remaining embryo which sadly ended in miscarriage. This has had a real impact on me, even though I’ve miscarried before, and I’m scared of loosing another one. I am also acutely aware that our journey for our second son was not easy (it took a few tries); and now I’m 3 years older so mindful it wouldn’t happen straight away. I also have just had a promotion at work so mindful I don’t want to let them down either.

I think I’m just looking for help in reaching a decision - perhaps someone else has been there - who can offer some guidance or advice on what to think about..

thank you xx

[HollyT7]

I think if we had any left we would have gone for three but only out of guilt for leaving it in the freezer. We wouldn’t be able to afford a whole new cycle and if we could I’d be thinking of what it could be spent on and all the heartache a brand new cycle could bring, let alone the impact on my body, I would think that we had been through enough…But that’s just our situation! If your contemplating it…maybe you won’t get it out of your system until you take the leap..

[Jmcgregor1987]

Not quite the same, but I’m the same age as you. We were very lucky that our first ICSI baby came relatively easily when I was 33. Our second however, was a real slog. It took 5 transfers including a TFMR at 14 weeks, which then needed scar tissue removal surgery following a D&C that was a little too thorough. However, I started all over again for my 5th transfer (the rest had all been frozen) and did a fresh cycle, at 36, and we got lucky, I’m 16 weeks now 🤞. One of the deciding factors for pushing for that fresh cycle was that we wanted options on a 3rd baby if we were lucky to get any PGA tested embryos for the freezer. What helped us decide was (we have MFI and had frozen sperm for my husband to use thankfully from our previous round a few years ago) some tests to check my AMH and a good once over from a gynae, who said that it was worth giving it a go, as my levels hadn’t materially changed. Maybe worth doing some bloods to see where you stand?

[Blossom_4]

I have been very lucky. We had two success ICSI in 2017 and 2019. In 2021 we transferred our last FET which sadly ended in a miscarriage, it really has affected me, even to this day. But like you, we always wanted three. We welcomed our rainbow baby 4 weeks ago after going through a couple more rounds. It was our last round we were going to do. The embryo transferred was the only one ready on day 5, but we did end up with another in freezer.

I say that if you have always seen your family with 3 children and can afford to do another round you will regret not doing it in years to come. My husband gran said to us that she regretted not having a third child all her life. This really stuck to me. Good luck with making your decision

[Fruitandflowers]

I think you may want to update the title to *sensitive* just given the subject matter which is a great positive story but could be upsetting to some. I have DM'd you.

[Blessed5510]

I say go for it! If you have the means to try again, I wouldn’t let anyone tell you not to! Good luck to you and your family!