2ww with last embryo

[Hazel2211]

This is my first post after many years of TTC & IVF but just feeling the need to speak to other people in a similar situation if anyone is! I'm nearing the end of what I think will be my final 2ww after my 8th FET, with my final embryo. I've had 2 fresh freeze all cycles and 1 cancelled fresh cycle as well and have been so ill with OHSS each time. That and the effect on my health, our lives, the cost etc mean that I don't think we will continue IVF after this. I've had 4 chemical pregnancies/early losses before or at the 7 week scan, and 3 negative rounds. Finding it very hard to be hopeful but also so scared to test and all these years of trying be for nothing. I feel like I can't quite imagine my life without treatment and although we are committed to having a family another way if this doesn't work, it feels very hard to accept it might be over soon.

If anyone else is at a similar point it'd be so lovely to hear from you! I have the loveliest friends but it is quite hard sometimes when none of them have been through this.

[HollyT7]

I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. Hold onto hope for this round, out of all of the transfers on the same day as you, there is no reason why you can’t be lucky this time. 🤞🏼💚 thinking of you x

[Christianbaby]

Wishing you all the very best and crossing my fingers for you. xx

[Bluewind]

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hoping it will work out for you! I am in a similar situation, we have done slightly fewer transfers and I think the next (our sixth) will be our last. We have had 3 negatives, one chemical and a silent MC at around 7 weeks.

Given my age, we are probably not going to continue with IVF after this, but I understand how you feel- I’m not quite sure how to imagine my life moving forward with no more treatment, as it sort of takes over everything. I’m finding that I’m really emotional, to the point of not knowing when to do the last transfer, probably because it’s a scary thought to think it might not work.

Thanks for sharing with us xx

[Hazel2211 in reply to Bluewind]

Thanks so much for sharing too - completely understand that feeling though I do keep thinking at least the constant life limbo will be over when this is done, either way. So maybe being in a place to have to move on will be a good thing? Sending all the positivity to you too & really hope that last one works for you too when you decide to do it.I have found myself seeking out women who've talked about stopping treatment without a child & Elizabeth Day talks about this really powerfully - she has massively helped me!

[Hanj10]

I had my final transfer before Christmas and I felt weirdly relieved that it would be the end of that phase of my life. I’d had 6 early miscarriages with the previous transfer being a chemical. I had no expectations either way just relief! It was successful! Hope this is the one for you xx

[Hazel2211 in reply to Hanj10]

So glad it worked for you, and thank you! I did feel that a bit before we started but now I'm just so invested in it working!

[lulubelly1983]

I’m in same position this is my last go at this all the best luck in the world for test day I hope with all my heart this is the one for you it’s such a hard place to be in life that really no one understands unless you’ve been through it xxxx

[Hazel2211 in reply to lulubelly1983]

Ah best of luck for you too - it really is tough! Does definitely make me feel lonely even when I have people being kind etc! When is your test day? X

[lulubelly1983 in reply to Hazel2211]

It’s tomorrow but I’m a serial tester I have no willpower and have got a BFP but am feeling far from positive about it to be honest, I’ve scared myself this morning doing a clearblue digital that says on 1-2wks when is should say 2-3wk last cycle was a missed miscarriage seen at my 7wk scan head is now all over the place

[Hazel2211]

Oh bless you - I have been there and it is SO hard. Those digital ones are so stressful. Take a day at a time and try to focus on the fact that right now or is positive. So so understand how you feel though - this secondary wait is just as awful!

[Dizzydottie]

Hi. My story is similar to yours it seems. I have just undergone my 6th frozen embryo transfer and am currently on my 2 ww. I get results this friday, in a couple days. We started with 8 embryos and have had 5 failed transfers. I feel no symptoms except some tingling in my abdomen. This one I approached differently mentally anyway. I took some people's advise and they recommended using the laws of attraction theory. Actually act as if i already have my baby (which between you and me it felt almost borderline psychotic) but when you're at the point of desperation you'll try just about anything. I even bought a home pregnancy test and took the test this morning and tonight I still haven't looked at it to see what the results show. Dysfunctional in the head right now? I gotta admit, I am for sure right now. And no matter how much support you get which I'm most grateful of including my husband, I'm still so so so alone in this gut wrenching fertility journey. I once felt resentment that others didn't understand, but I've grown humble sense and I've accepted this is my burden to bare. It's the kind of pain that never let's up or gets easier. Through the years of my fertility journey I've even met people easily to throw it in my face I couldn't have children, even one transient friend (meaning very short term friend) told me I wasn't even a real woman since I couldn't get pregnant as she was facing having her newborn taken from her for neglect charges. Crazy huh? I am 49 and have been in fertility clinics since my 20's. I am waiting for results from my 6th embryo transfer. We even gave him a name this time and I've been writing letters to him in hopes I will be able to give them to him some day. I told myself if or when he is born I will have 2 embryos left. I will do it again and again. I started to accept the fact that that kind of happiness comes to people other than me and that I've accepted I will only witness it from a distance. But then my sister told me to get my head out of my ass and she said, "WHY NOT YOU". I am after all a realist more than a daydreamer. But she's right, why not me, why not you. And all the pain we've gone through, only one's like us are the one's who truly understand the weight of the pain we bare and the unwavering strength and courage people like you and I have, we keep on keeping on full strides ahead knowing the chance of agony we charge towards. We keep on for that possibility of being so near being a part of what many take advantage of. The gift of life, to produce another human being, being part of the circle of life, to love something greater than yourself, to feel a part of the greatest gift and that's motherhood. Keep going and don't ever give up or stop. I'd like to think I will bare 3 sons in my 50's, and although later than some this is when my life will get a jump start and the best is yet to come. They say your 50's are actually like your 30's. Whoever they are 30's, 40's, 50's, it's freaking 2024,I feel better today than in my 20's. Well, I've got what they call a unicornuate uterus too, which is half a uterus. I feel stressed out to the max as my husband is sound asleep right now and I pace our house. Our burden right? I needed to write this and thanks for allowing me to. I don't share much with friends and family but when I see these posts it reminds me I'm not alone. Although I don't wish you any pain but when I'm reminded I'm not alone it gives me the strength to keep on fighting and to not give up. The chance to love our unborn children outweighs the pain and suffering we face daily to get there. If love isn't the most important thing in life please tell me what is. I wish you all the joy and love in your life and keep trying. Whichever avenue you choose, with all my heart I wish you success in your journey. Thanks again for allowing me to share. P.S. your results will be positive!!