Hi my warriors, I'm just beginning meds for my last ivf cycle using my own eggs. I had a double miscarriage last year (losing one at 12 weeks) with my last cycle and an early miscarriage 3 years before when trying naturally.
How do people stay positive on this incredibly difficult journey? I'm absolutely terrified about any possible outcome and I can feel the stress between myself and my husband. I'm 42 so time isn't on my side.
I've been given additional meds from my clinic which was helpful as further tests all came back in the normal range but they agreed to do this for me.
I just want to say how amazing you all are on here, its the most painful journey I've ever been on and I hope you and myself all get a happy ending where ever our journeys take us xxx
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AJKP
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Hey, I am so sorry for your losses, just heartbreaking. I had six miscarriages with my own eggs and six rounds fresh rounds (some MC's were natural pregnancies). We eventually were so fortunate and got lucky with DE (which isn't for everyone).
I remember having the exact same question on about round 4, and the nurse at my clinic told me that positivity really had no impact and actually not to beat yourself up if you didn't feel it, but instead to just keep on keeping on, and do whatever you need to in order to get through it. I had some very low moments and was convinced I would never have a child. I even had counselling about being childless. I was also really worried if I wasn't positive about each cycle then it wouldn't work. In truth the one that did work (with DE), I was completely negative, completely removed from it, had a glass of wine the night before the transfer and had pretty much given up hope and lo and behold I got a BFP from day 4 post transfer... at the ripe old age of 45! I gave birth to my daughter a month after my 46th birthday.
I guess this might not be helpful, but I just wanted to reassure you that not being positive isn't a disaster and won't have an impact on any outcome.
Feel free to message me if I can help at all. I have been on this forum for years but am under a new profile name.
Aww thank you for your inspiring message, it was helpful and reassuring to hear its ok to not force the positivity if it isn't always there. After this round if it doesn't work we'll go DE which takes away some wlement of pressure. I'm sorry you had such a struggle too but happy to hear you were blessed with your little one. Thank you for replying xx 😊
good luck and thinking of you!! All we can do is keep going and hoping that the odds are in our favour too! I’m nearly 42 as well as going for (what is likely) my last round with own eggs next month after a few miscarriages and I’m hoping that the law of averages brings us both an embryo that’s healthy to carry on this time 🤞🏽🤞🏽 xx
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