New donor embryo cycle, take two

[SushiTilly]

I am about to start my next donor cycle in Spain. Sadly first one failed. At the time I had 9.5mm endometrial lining, best blastocyst grade, and BFN in Oct 2023.

After spending years on fertility diet, fertility supplements and following all advice about lifestyle, during my mock cycle I decided to break all rules...well I took basic supplements but enjoyed Christmas wine and exercised (as I'm tired of not being able to do HIIT)...results were still thick endo lining 🤔. Anyway, as I start the proper cycle I will abstain to give my body the best chance.

It's my third donor cycle. I have, as last time, no expectations. It feels like a numbers game. If I can get the best embryo and lining (visually seen on ultrasound unless lining is thick but inactive) again then I suppose it's all I can expect to get a positive. I've read so many stories on this platform, as my ultrasound technician said (who had successful IVF treatment herself) it's hard to understand why it doesn't work...closest I get to playing casino.

I wonder if anyone else has a wiggly IVF journey. Where do you anchor your mindset?

[Doodlebug23]

I’m just waiting to start meds for my 6th transfer (embryo 7 and 8). I was starting to get really despondent and think it’s never going to work 😢 . So I’ve decided New Year new me! I’m doing dry January, taking a cocktail of supplements and focusing on being positive and telling myself and the universe that I deserve this baby and it will happen in 2024! Sending positivity and 👶🏼 ✨ your way!!

[SushiTilly in reply to Doodlebug23]

Thank you for getting in touch.

I had sense of hope yesterday in fact I got hope journal with lots of great quotes. Outside of my IVF journey life is getting calmer. Focusing on self growth, making home cosy, doing new hobbies and making new friends is uplifting.

I've decided to tell no one about our current IVF cycle for me it helps to reduce anticipation of others and avoid usual 'adoption' advice.

I'm on my six IVF cycle but third with donor embryo. My doctor advised on thinking of each cycle as new one but he totally understands why it feels hard given how many times I had to do it. I think constantly using IVF drugs exhausting my body and I've gradually got fatter. I normally exercise loads but I have to prohibit too much activity leading up to cycle. Along the way I've experienced trauma relating to things going on around me, it's been good to have counselling.

It's good to remain positive as each new cycle allows for miracle to happen. Based on all stories I've read, there is every possible chance it cann work. All the best with new cycle your embarking on. X

[Doodlebug23 in reply to SushiTilly]

This all sounds really positive 😊 I have a few close friends and family who know as it’s impossible to keep it a secret with going abroad. But they are people I talk to so I suppose they would know anyway.

I’m getting fatter too 🙈

I totally get how you feel cause each time it doesn’t work it’s really crushing. It’s great having no issues but makes you wonder why it’s just not working doesn’t it. This is 6th transfer for me too and this WILL be our time!!! X

[Yellowlove]

It is so disheartening when you throw everything at it and it still doesn’t work and there are no real known reasons for it. My third DE transfer got me a BFP, the first two were better embryos and I’d been stricter with myself. The main difference the last time was they had upped my meds, added in a HCG injection, and increased progesterone. I was in despair about why it wasn’t all working and was surprised to see a positive. Mindset is so hard to control in this journey. It can happen at any time, sending you all the luck and baby dust x

[SushiTilly in reply to Yellowlove]

Thank you for responding it helps to hear other stories. I have heard lots of stories it still comes down to luck. Some get pregnant with lower grade embryo than those with best embryo. Basically no pattern...I'm sure in twenty years they'll crack ultimate answer to 100 positive protocols. For now just come of my mock cycle I'm getting all nasty symptoms it's awful. One thing miss is having my body back. This process is grueling. When it doesn't work it feels all the more worse and clinics doesn't have best aftercare.

[Yellowlove in reply to SushiTilly]

Clinics have no aftercare to be honest. Like you, after my second failed transfer I had a mock cycle and during that cycle I drank wine and ate gluten/dairy (I try to abstain usually because of my fluctuating thyroid levels). My lining wasn’t as good! But they got what they needed for the biopsy. I’d sort of mentally given up a little I think. Like you I love exercising and not being able to do that was getting me very very down, not being able to use the products I like, I put on weight, giving up so much had all taken its toll. I sort of went into third transfer not expecting it to work again, and I’d even been reading about success rates for my last 2 embryos (as in embryo grades) and I had even started to look at new donors for the next batch of embryos I thought I’d need. But it worked third time and now hoping for the best. We do have to pick ourselves up every - single - day… it’s a very tough journey. You just have to believe your time will come x.

[Twiglet2]

good luck for your cycle! Are they changing any of your meds this time? I found adding in lubion and clexane has increased implantation success for me (never had a lining issue either but was getting a few BFN in a row) like your consultant says though sometimes it is just down to lain old luck and we need to keep rolling that dice! Xx

[SushiTilly in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. They've not changed the protocol mainly as they suspect the absence of pessaries was issue. I remember taking injection from day of transfer as well as high dosage of progesterone. Hopefully luck will be my side. Right now my only involvement is being baby carrier, so far they've got no issue with cargo so I wondering what else they can do. It was lubion I was taking, for first two cycles. X

[Twiglet2 in reply to SushiTilly]

Ah yes I added lubion and still took the pessaries too. Pessaries are the best way but lubion keeps you topped up. You should ask about the clexane too it can help prevent clots in the lining that can stop implantation, just invade they think that may help it’s not too expensive either and you start on day after transfer xx

[Wishing_100]

hi!

I’m sorry your journey through IVF has been so long & heartbreaking.

I think from your replies it seems like you’re on the right track to help your positive position on this round. It is really tough, the effort/cost and schedule of trying to make sure we are doing the right thing is exhausting & draining.

I am in the process of starting our donor journey in Spain (after 2 miscarriages & 4 rounds of IVF) and wanted to know what clinic in Spain your are with?

Wishing you all the best xxx

[Tir-26]

just a message of support, all the best with your treatment

[Boo718]

hello we went on the donor embryo route. Did you get them pgta tested? We also had an era to check for optimal transfer timing xxx I hope you are good xxx

[SushiTilly in reply to Boo718]

No, we didn't get era or pgta. Very hard as we asked about it, they felt with best embryo at day five and strong lining it's all they needed to give me best chance. I will have to ask them about these options see what they say.

[Boo718 in reply to SushiTilly]

We did donor donor for a start and on one of the rounds all embryos came back abnormal so when we moved on to donor embryo we asked for them to be pgta tested. They said it would be fine as the donors were younger but we highlighted the fact that there can still be abnormalities at a younger age so we only wanted tested ones. We also asked for era they initially said we didn’t need it coz I’d had 2 chemicals which showed implantation but we pushed for the test. It came back saying I needed an extra day of progesterone. On our next transfer we followed this protocol with a pgta tested embryo and an extra day meds and it worked I hope it works for you guys too xxx the embryos that were abnormal were top quality on day 5 and my lining was good xxx

[SushiTilly in reply to Boo718]

Wow so embryo that is graded the best can be abnormal?

[Boo718 in reply to SushiTilly]

Yeh I’m afraid so. In one round we had 4 embryos 3 good quality, one crap quality. The payment for pgta at our clinic was a certain amount for 4 embryos or less so we just did all 4. The 3 good quality ones were all abnormal the crap quality one was normal but it was such poor quality they didn’t think it would make it and it didn’t 🤦‍♀️ the rest were discarded xxx

[SushiTilly in reply to Boo718]

Oh my, that is hard to take in. I find IVF such frustrating experience. Why do they not just do pgta as part of standard package, surely it improves their success rate records?

I was reading about these treatment add ons, pgts on HFEA website. I will ask my clinic about tomorrow.

When they got donor they have retrieved nine eggs, they kept only one embryo and discarded the rest.

I am not sure what happened really, in the end it didn't work. I wonder if they did pgts could it have discarded that one embryo as well. I'll never know.

Thanks I will speak with the clinic.

Xx

[Boo718 in reply to SushiTilly]

Some clinics are not for it. Especially in situations where it’s donor. But we really didn’t want to keep transferring abnormal embryos and it helped too coz we would have paid to transfer that 4 that were never going to make it. So it saved a lot of time, heartache and money. We also did the Alice Emma and era tests xxx

[SushiTilly in reply to Boo718]

Thank you. I've emailed my clinic to ask, see what they say. I like to think they've thought it all through already so I don't like to make them feel untrusted.

Just got news of colleague being pregnant, I always find it hard to give any reaction. She was surprised my boss didn't tell me, but I knew he was protecting my feelings.

Hopefully clinic will respond soon on my queries, thanks for your advice. Xx

[Boo718 in reply to SushiTilly]

Give me a shout anytime. I hope it works for you. Xxx it’s so hard finding out some is pregnant. I remember that feeling well remember it’s ok not to be ok xxx