feeling guilty for breaking my no dri... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

56,136 members59,613 posts

feeling guilty for breaking my no drinking

Cuppppatea profile image
14 Replies

Ivf happening in January. I’ve been so good for months and months, no alcohol, fertility diet, supplements, yoga, accupuncture - the lot.

It was husbands birthday and he organised a big get together with friends. We both got absolutely drunk, I’d kind of figured before hand there was absolutely no way he would even dream of having a sober birthday so just decided to let it play out.

Today I’m feeling really hungover and extremely guilty, I feel like I’ve undone all my hard work. The thought of trying to stay sober and keep him sober through Christmas is really stressing me out - we have a big wedding as well and he’s best man.

Written by
Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
14 Replies
Purpledoggy profile image
Purpledoggy

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. As long as you had fun, then it’s no bad thing to let your hair down. One night on the booze isn’t going to undo the rest of your health kick so try to bop the beer fear on the head xx

Purpledoggy profile image
Purpledoggy in reply toPurpledoggy

Same applies to a few boozy days over Christmas. Try to relax, it will put you in the best frame of mind. If not using already, some antioxidants like NAC may help to counteract the booze and hangover. There are also some great alcohol free ‘boozes’, alternating with the real thing can help to limit how much you drink (I have been using this tactic to limit my boozing for a few years as I get ripping hangovers!). Xx

RedFox23 profile image
RedFox23

Definitely don’t worry! Sounds like you’ve done so much good, a drunken night and a couple more over Christmas won’t undo things. Remember it’s important to take care of yourself and do things that fill up your cup! X

don’t be so hard on yourself and you will not have undone your hard work. Good luck for January

Joeysjourney profile image
Joeysjourney

Babe I totally feel this post. I'm not even cycling at the moment but am considering it in the new year and I've had a couple of weekends of being really drunk recently and I feel so so guilty.

My logical brain wants to slap me, but my emotional side feels bad. I have to remind myself that plenty of people get pregnant despite (and sometimes because of 🤣) alcohol.

I don't drink unless I'm actually out out so hopefully my daily life is good enough. I agree with the above as well about mental health and letting your hair down. When I was really stressed with ivf my hormone readings were all over the place so I think being happy and tipsy at times is better than being perfect and stressed.

Best of luck to you. Enjoy Christmas, drink plenty of water, take your vitamins and don't be hard on yourself.

OK pep talk needed for me now too lol

WillowPark profile image
WillowPark

Don't be so hard on yourself! The odd day off is OK especially when your IVF isn't starting until next month. Nobody is a saint and we are all just trying our best in difficult circumstances. Hope you had a good evening. The important thing is to get back on the health kick as soon as you can for as much as you can!

PineappleCrumble profile image
PineappleCrumble

Shame is all a part of a hangover, those feelings are pretty chemical. Don't be so hard on yourself, maybe you just needed one last time blowing off steam. It's hard when you're waiting for IVF with it hanging over you. My husband and I gave ourselves a day off on my birthday, about a month before IVF was due to start. IVF still went well. Go easy on yourselves.

With the wedding, do what you need to do. It can be hard in social situations but I think come up with a plan. There's so many alcohol free beers/spirits/wines now, nobody else will even notice if you drink less/nothing at all! And if you make it through just think how smug you'll be the next morning, with no hangover, all the stories and your camera roll full of other people's drunken escapades. ;) xx

Systema23 profile image
Systema23

ho cuppatea

Just want to reiterate what the other posts said, do not beat yourself up. Prioritise your mental health. I got absolutely hammered 2 days before my trigger shot at a family party, then had cocktails and champagne in Paris the day after it with lots of croissants and pizza for and all things nice for a few days. I am currently pregnant (just).

Before that, with the exception of a few days off for gigs I had been a saint for 10 months. It is the cumulative effect that matters. So enjoy the odd day off for Xmas and the wedding, use it as an opportunity to destress and good luck with your next cycle xxx

Legallyblonde39 profile image
Legallyblonde39

My first round of ivf I was tee total. Losing weight, accupuncture the lot. It failed. Just before my second round, my Dad died. I was a total mess. Drank loads. Postponed it for 6 weeks and I stopped drinking just before the round. I had one wine after collection and before transfer. I now have a 15 month old son from that round. I definitely think my mental health had something to do with it. I was not so obsessed with it cause I was grieving. Focus on you and your husband. Have a great Christmas and don't over think it. Best of luck xx

Mikki100 profile image
Mikki100

Don't be so hard on yourself. I did the same thing a month ago celebrating our anniversary. I also felt a bit guilty until I remembered my best mate who drinks like a fish, yet got pregnant without any desire to do so!

Then there's me on the IVF journey, dieting, exercising vigorously. No alcohol loads of supplements, fertility massages and acupuncture.. yet nothing to show for it (yet!). My consultant said a few drinks over Christmas should be fine (we're planning transfer #5 in Jan). Try to relax, maybe set yourself a limit and enjoy Christmas x

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2

the round I was drinking the month before (binge drinking with shots and everything!), after being t-total for ages on my other transfers and IUIs, was the one that worked for me! You’ve done really well to cut it out for so long! Also ‘trying to keep him sober’ isn’t your job you have enough to worry about so let him make his own choices about drinking lovely it was only stress you out if yoj try to police him ! I honestly think having a lovely Christmas and being as relaxed as possible going into your round is just as important for n my opinion, please don’t beat yourself up for what has happens or might have happened just try your best to be as clean living as possible in the days between events like Christmas and weddings and birthdays 🤗✨ and enjoy things until you are on the meds is what I do! Xx

Lolalules profile image
Lolalules

totally agree with the others - mental wellbeing in some ways more important! Having that time together where you just enjoyed yourselves will have done just as much good. Plus it’s much more about overall lifestyle and health and not the odd night. Our successful round was the only one where we had drinks because we had three big weddings the month before. We decided to just enjoy them and it was fine but there was lots of hot lemon tea in the mornings to detox too! X

LSandJ profile image
LSandJ

Please do not worry about it! I had a lot of rounds and stopped or reduced drinking around all of them EXCEPT my successful one! I was drinking all through the cycle like normal and then had a party the night before egg collection AND before the successful transfer (before transfer I had my sisters 40th on the Friday, Wedding drinks on the Sat, Wedding on the Sunday and transfer was on the Tue!) And I didn't hold back at all! I'm currently 21 weeks with twins! Please please do not worry, forgive yourself x

Mai94 profile image
Mai94

please don’t stress about that, people without fertility struggle drink until their hearts content and still get pregnant daily. Over our 3 year journey I went sober for months at a time, exercised relogiously, watched my diet etc and no success.

1 week exactly before my third transfer was my husbands 30 birthday party, I drank a lot! So much so I nursed a hangover for 2 days. Long story short that cycle worked and I now have almost 20 month old twins.

Don’t feel guilty, enjoy Christmas and the wedding! Good luck x

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Feeling guilty

Hi everyone, it will be a week tomorrow since we found out out 2nd cycle of ICSI was unsuccessful,...
helsroo profile image

Husband refusing to accept his weekend drinking is an issue for our fertility.

Husband refusing to accept his weekend drinking is an issue for fertility. At the beginning of our...
Cuppppatea profile image

A question?

Ladies, I’ve deliberated over whether to ask you for your opinion. I’m really torn. We have a 10...
jengi profile image

Feeling guilty..

So last night my brother rang me to say my sister in law was going mental saying their newborn...
E_05 profile image

Feeling unsupported … no one to turn to

About to have the 10 day scan hopefully in the run up to a FET ….we decided not to tell anyone...
Gatarra profile image

Moderation team

See all
Claire_FNUK profile image
Claire_FNUKAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.