Failed FET - feeling really low - Fertility Network UK

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Failed FET - feeling really low

KateEE1856 profile image
12 Replies

Our FET has officially failed, I had another negative test this morning (OTD). I’m absolutely devastated, and not sure how to get through the next week or so.

No bleeding just yet and I’m terrified about it starting, it’ll just be a reminder that my body failed our little embryo.

I’m just so heartbroken.

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KateEE1856 profile image
KateEE1856
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12 Replies
MiniCeeCee profile image
MiniCeeCee

So sorry to hear, but know you’re not alone. I also got a BFN today. It’s quite heart wrenching isn’t it. We’re in this together though, I think we need to allow ourselves to be sad, and when the time is right, work out the ‘what’s next’. Sending you lots of love x

WillowPark profile image
WillowPark in reply to MiniCeeCee

☹️ So sorry MiniCeeCee , hope you are doing OK x

Eloquentia profile image
Eloquentia

I am really sorry your transfer didn't work. Getting a BFN is soul crushing. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve. We went on an impromptu holiday abroad after our failed FET to escape from it all. The change of scenery and taste of normal life did us a lot of good. When we came back, I was in a much better state to start thinking and planning the next steps. Another thing that helped me a lot in the run up to our second FET was reflexology. I am generally sceptical of alternative therapies but found foot massage really relaxing and therapeutic. Very best of luck!

Waitingonarainbow profile image
Waitingonarainbow

Just wanted to say I’m so sorry to read your post. I know how devastating a BFN can be. Take care of yourself over the next few weeks xx

WillowPark profile image
WillowPark

I'm so sorry - it is an awful feeling. Please don't feel like you failed your embryo though - you have no idea what happened in there. Maybe this little embryo just wasn't ready to become your miracle this time. The next few days will be really tough so be kind to yourself, and know you will feel better soon. I always dread the bleed but actually I've found them quite cathartic after my failed FETs once it is done, so hopefully you get that over with soon x

Christianbaby profile image
Christianbaby

Hugs. xx I know the feeling so well. Let yourself be sad and then come back up stronger. x

Nabsal profile image
Nabsal

oh dear it’s very sad to read . But please stay positive. I also had bfn and it’s very heart wrenching seriously . Send you vertual hugs and best of luck for future

Doodlebug23 profile image
Doodlebug23

So sorry to hear this. It’s such a devastating horrible numbing feeling. But there are lots of us on here who know exactly how you are feeling, and this forum has helped me a lot. You are grieving the loss of a pregnancy and I think lots who haven’t been through it don’t really understand that. Take care x

Oopsieloopsy profile image
Oopsieloopsy

I’m sorry. You absolutely haven’t failed my love, if an embryo doesn’t implant its more than likely an issue with the embryo than you. Even perfect looking embryos can have abnormalities. Please be kind to yourself ❤️

Mikki100 profile image
Mikki100

Sending you virtual hugs and support at this tragic time. Take care of yourself physically and mentally ❤️

AshleyJB profile image
AshleyJB

I'm so sorry. I know exactly how this feels and it takes me weeks to start feeling hopeful again after a failed transfer and we've had 3 failed FETs. After our last failed transfer my husband and I went up to the lakes for a few days and ate nice food, had a few drinks used the spa and went for long walks in the countryside I didn't want to go because I felt so low but I'm so glad we did because a change of scenery and self care did us both the world of good.

Lots of love to you. Xxx

CPIVF23 profile image
CPIVF23

I know it doesn’t help much, but please know that you’re not alone. We’re also navigating a failed transfer after a negative test on Sunday and I’ve been really struggling too. Sending you so much love. ❤️

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