Dealing with it all - egg donation

[Tryinglate]

I have always been ambivalent about having babies and knew I didn’t want to do it alone. Still, at 39, a round of “insurance” IVF egg freezing led to no eggs surviving, an internal infection and 1 week in the hospital.

Now, 2 years into a great marriage (with 2 step kids) 46 yo. Went for egg donation, 3 embryo transfers and early blood results show potentially twins (echo in a couple of days).

1- why is everyone else way more overjoyed than me? I feel neutral (to positive) and I keep hearing myself saying that my life is good with and without kids and I will wait until the danger has greatly passed in month 3 to really celebrate. Anyone feeling the same? is the peak of the miscarriage risk at month 3?

2- to my knowledge, the egg donor being 28 and in great health means that we have a higher change at a successful pregnancy than with my own eggs (see above) and the baby will likely be healthier. I declined genetic testing of the embryos prior to transfer to minimize embryo risk (and you can test later). And with Epi genetics, the kid/s will have some maneurism and DNA influenced by me. Am I correct?

3- I have stopped all things raw cheese, meat, alcohol, and heavy lifting / exercise. I have been doing some light stretching. Caffeine is down to one espresso a day, and that’s it. I also wear a CGM to monitor my sugar spikes as recommended by a friend who got gestational diabetes. I don’t have diabetes but I will likely get pre-diabetes if I continue like this. I am reading recommendations about pineapple? What else? Is there a recommended list of dos and donts?

[Lilo07]

Hi Tryinglate

Congratulations!!! It’s really nice to hear you are expecting twins!!! Beautiful ♥️

May I ask you what clinic did you go for IVF treatment? Did you have more than one treatment to get pregnant? I’m in the same boat as you, I’m new to this and searching for clinics. I would really appreciate all your advice, take care and thank you.

[AloeDuck]

Hi Tryinglate.

I hope everything works out for you. You might be feeling this way because of the meds. I’m feeling like crap now on the oestrogen tabs and not very positive at all but know I’m excited. I also had to have donor eggs because of the same issue. My donor was 25. I have been successful on my first DFET and now have a 2 yr old, going in for 2nd next week. It is very daunting not knowing but please have faith. My child is very much like me re mannerisms etc and looks like me too. It’ll be the same for you because of your DNA. It’s magic and we’re so blessed to be in a time where this is possible. I wish you lots of success and happiness.