Hey All
Devastated to be writing this, I’ve had another failed lUI 🥲 It’s hit me harder than the first time, so much so it’s like I’ve heard my loved one has passed away. I feel so afraid of my future. I don’t really have a question if I’m honest just needed to get my feelings out.
Sending you all going through similar ❣️and hope.
I had 4 failed IUI's as a single person before I went down the IVF route. I wish I'd done IVF sooner as its been a struggle. But I'm currently 8w 2d with twins so it is worth it. Focus on the end goal, I know its not easy especially alone. PM me if you want to chat.
Sorry to hear you had a tough journey but I’m so glad you are expecting twins, if I do decide to do IVF it’ll be a stretch financially to even do one round but hopefully be worth it, thanks I’ll bear that in mind x
What did your specialist advise? Did they say for you to try IVF? It might be your best option. You can try your own eggs first then if that still doesn't work there is the option for egg donation.
Yeah they did it’s just it’ll be a stretch financially but it’s something I definitely need to consider more before deciding next step x
Hi just wanted to know how you are doing? Are you feeling better? I also wonder if you have decided on your next step. Can you give us an update?
Hi
I got a lovely email saying how sorry they were to hear it failed. And did again suggest IVF as higher chance of success. However as I said financially would be a struggle, I have one straw of sperm left already paid for so that will cut my costs a little. Not sure how it all works exactly but I’m going to get in contact with them had ask for a consultation just to dive a little deeper about what IVF entails.
I also went for a counselling session which I found helpful as it allowed me to acknowledge how I was feeling was normal.
I still however feel like I’m not ready to make final decision, feeling very heavy but I’m doing my best and I know what I need to do to get through it’s just my body isn’t working with me atm.
Glad to know you are doing counselling. That will certainly help. Just take care of yourself for now. That's the most important thing.
Allow yourself time to grieve before planning next step . Maybe ask for some counselling or get in touch with the British Infertility Counselling Association bica.net Hope you have people around you for support
Thinking of you
Janet-Partner
I didn’t take the counselling last time but think it’s something I need this time round, especially when only really having one more chance. Oh I’ve never heard of them I’ll check it out x Yeah I have my mum who has been fantastic, my sister too and my two nephews keep me smiling. It’s just hard to imagine not having my own children to love and grow with, especially when I can see how much I love and enjoy being with them x
I just wanted to echo what Tarasunny has said, I did 3 IUIs (using donor sperm) and it cost around £10k in total and the process left me heartbroken and my mental health in pieces. I would definitely consider using counselling, I refused it till it all failed and then it took a month to set up, my recovery time between last failed IUI and starting IVF was 6 months because of how I felt emotionally.I've done a mild IVF cycle with a different clinic, unfortunately my fresh transfer didn't work but I have 2 good embryos and so far it's around £5k. Each transfer would be around £2.5k. Although I'm gutted my fresh transfer has failed I feel like IVF has given me hope and reassurance that my body is still producing good eggs and I found the meds process much easier than the LH test sticks.
Unsure from your post if you are using donor sperm or not, but with IVF you require less sperm to get more embryos.
Good luck with you next steps x
Oh my sorry you’ve been through all that, I hope your IVF journey had a better outcome. Yes I’m using donor sperm I only have one straw left.
May be worth asking if the sperm is suitable for IVF and how much a cycle would be. I know it's more the IUI but you may get embryos that can be used later once you've saved a bit more or it may give you insight to your egg quality. I don't say these things to scare you but I know I wanted to save as much as I could before starting Fertility treatment and with the delays have managed to save more
I’m definitely going to be asking a lot more before deciding next step. See that’s what I did I ask about treatment and saved until I had enough for 3 rounds of IUI even though it was suggested I only need one.
If that was the case I would speak with your clinic about the expectations they set.
Mine were very clear in saying that they would do 3 unmedicated and 3 medicated before moving to IVF. When I first started the process it was an NHS hospital that did fertility but they changed to a private yet still went with my original guidance. I think the 6 in total is to do with maybe some patients getting funding after that but very unlikely for single people.
I read that after 4 IUIs the chances of success do not increase so decided to stop wasting the money on IUI and go to IVF
The hard thing is I've seen successes for IUI at attempt 1,2 and 3 so it fills you with hope that the next one may work but it is exhausting
Yeah need to get things cleared up. At this moment in time I don’t imagine been able to do another IUI, as like you says fills you with hope but so exhausting when it doesn’t work. Least with IVF I’d be giving myself a better chance.
I would say if you feel like that then take a break, reassess things and maybe even look at other clinics.
It's such a whirlwind and when they fail it hits hard. I was so unwell after the second one and devastated but forced myself to do the 3rd as was so hung up on doing it before I turned 35 and hoping it being my birthday month it would be a good luck (silly I know) and then when the 3rd failed and I didn't expect it and had no other plans or thoughts on next steps it wasn't good. You really do need to be in the best place you can to handle it.
I never thought I would advocate so strongly for something that involves injections and drugs as I'm rather needle phobic and even avoid taking paracetamols but it really did give me reassurance and the 2ww or the fail haven't hit as hard this time.
That’s why I jumped straight into second because my birthday month. So not silly at all I get it, you was trying to be positive and hopeful. I didn’t think it could honestly be this hard, the emotions side that is.
It seems a little scarier doing ivf however if it’s my next best option I’m sure I can push through it.
Thanks for the advice and Goodluck with everything x
I’m so sorry 😢 I want to echo what others have said we did 6 IUIs (3 medicated and 3 unmedicated) that’s didn’t work with donor sperm and then went to IVF which ended upbeing cheaper as can get several embryos from one round potentially! IUI has such a low chance of working if I could tell my younger self anything it would be to move to IVF as soon as possible to save time, money and heartache xx
Hey I know this feeling all too well .We also had two iui failures and I was absolutely heartbroken so much so my partner refused to put us through the 3 Ed round we had already paid for .I turned into a different person grieving for something I never had (strangest feeling in the world) partner said I needed to give my body a rest and I did .We we’re 6yrs trying to conceive and it got to the point I couldn’t walk down the baby aisle in a supermarket without sobbing my heart out .But I listened to my body although my heart wanted to keep going I just didn’t have the physical strength in me to be heartbroken from another failed attempt and just hemridging money at it .But there is light in February last year I discovered I was oregynaturally and our little boy is nearly 10 months old .Please please please don’t lose hope sometimes it’s all we have .Big hugs and lots of Irish much from me to you .LET YOUR BODY REST and try to recover from the failed attempts although it’s soul destroying.I’m always here for a chat this forum was great (and still is ) when I was going through my own cycles.Always here if you want to talk .Be kind to yourself .What’s ment for you won’t pass you by xxx
This is lovely, I’m so glad for you both sounds like you’ve got a good partner. That walking down the aisle situation didn’t bother me before but yesterday when I was doing monthly shop I started to notice it is now, I really don’t want to be like that. I think I’m going to focus on myself more and but treatment on hold, I need to try find out what makes me happy without thinking of wanting to be a mother. My heart doesn’t want to but think my mind needs me too.
Your mental health is more important and if it’s effecting it just give your body a chance to find its way back to normality without injections and pessaries and trigger shots .You will get there but the body is probably telling you it needs a break .Don’t give up and I’m always here for a chat .We have all been in the same boat and it’s a bumpy ride on times xx
So sorry it hasn’t worked. Just wanted to give some hope because lots of people saying they wish they never tried IUI. I have a 2 year old from my first IUI and currently pregnant with my second from my second IUI. It can work but it’s all a gamble isn’t it. Id suggest you give yourself some time and then a peak to the clinic and see if they advise another IUI or straight to IVF.
Also, just wanted to say that you will be a mother, don’t throw in the towel ❤️
Thank you I’m going to do exactly that even though my heart wants me to jump straight back in I have to fight against it for my minds sake. So glad to hear it can be successful though as reminds me that it could’ve been successful so not a waste of journey. Hope rest of pregnancy goes well, enjoy your little bundles of joy ❣️
I know it is very hard, but sometimes doctors don't explain that IUI has a vwry low chance of working (8 to 10% and in the best scenario, with medicine other than clomid, maybe a 15%). Its power is in repetition (that is why they recommend at least 6 before jumping to IVF).In my case I had 6 that were BFN. 3 with clomid and 3 with Bemfola. At the end I needed IVF. But usually you have good chances of it working if you try at least 6 times. Individual tries have a low chance of working.
See I didn’t know this, and wasn’t recommended to take 6, in fact one of the nurses said to be to buy one straw. I did thankfully go against this and went for 3, I have one left so hopefully I’ll be able to use this if I decided to go for IVF.
Yeah, it is at least 3 to have a higher chance. Some people are lucky and get it at the first try.. others at the 8th, and others have to go to IVF. Sometimes they make you use gonadotropin instead of clomid and then they recommend for you to get 3 more. But after this, they usually tell you that IVF, even if it is more invasive, is more cost and time efficient (as many iui can become very expensive). Even with IVF, every embryo transfer (depending on your age, issue, and the days they were grown in the lab) gives you from 15 to 30% chance. A full cycle (with several transfers) gives you from 30 to 50% chance of becoming pregnant and a lower range for having a baby soem hospitals say arou d 30 to 40%). I also did not know it and I was years thinking something was very wrong with me, because they make you feel that you will be pregnant very soon (and to act as if you are already). In my case, I changed clinics because of this and other stuff.
I even remember my first try IUI. I had two eggs and the doctor was very serious asking if I wanted to proceed as I would have such a high chance of twins. I was so scared. Then the same happened on the 6th try (and well yeah you have a risk for twins but like not a big chance of actually getting pregnant... in my case, after like 3 years, not even a BFP). So that time I said "Yeah sure, go on" the doctor looked at me shocked and then I had another BFN, and a lot of crying on my part. By that point I was so worried. Nobody explained to me that IUI has a low chance of working (they tell you to not inform yourself on the internet... which is bs) and then they go and tell you basically that you will be pregnant with twins as if it will be a fact. I understand they have to warn you as there are risks involved in twin pregnancies... but they should also explain the chances you have of being pregnant with IUI and then of delivering a baby if you get pregnant. I think it would have saved me worries, sadness, anger and a lot of feelings of being inadequate. Things got better when i entered an app called embie and there was a Q&A from an embriologist and she answered all my doubts.
You are totally right, I think more needs to be done when helping patients choose a treatment route. More information and better consultation needs to be given on both procedures so that others don’t need to go through the same thing you have done. Sorry you had to go through all that, I appreciate your advice and sharing your experiences.
Hi, I’ve just had my third failed donor egg transfer. I am on I don’t refund program in Spain. PM me if you just want to chat or would like some more information X
Sorry to hear that, not sure with my job I’d be able to travel to Spain.
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