Starting IVF cycle/anxious and scared/any advice?

[KitHarrington]

Hi all,

we are starting our IVF treatment this cycle, I'm on wait for day 21 to start my meds.

I was reasonably calm and okay-ish until today when the nurse called to confirm my medication start date, and now all of a sudden it's become really really real and I'm panicking.

I'm incredibly anxious (I already struggled with anxiety on and off) and am feeling quite scared of going through it all (although this is what we want and what I want). I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way exactly but I just can't seem to relax my body or mind no matter what I try and how hard I try, and the feelings seem to just intensify...

Any one else felt like this? Intense feelings of anxiety, fear, dread?

xx

[Hidden]

Hi there and congratulations getting this far, I'm only 1 week after first consultation waiting for a call tomorrow from anesthetist to confirm if we can try due to my other health issues.

Not the same but I'm sick at the thought of the whole process ( if we are allowed to try)

I have bad anxiety and PTSD from 3 traumatic losses which rears up when I'm under more stress like this.

I'm sorry about how your feeling but it's completely understandable and valid, it's a huge undertaking and as I'm just finding out all the pressure is on us. My husband was barely asked anything I was grilled!

My coping mechanism is to drive around with loud thrash metal on until I feel calmer as well as deep breathing to try and bring myself back.

Wishing you all the luck and strength in the world💪

[KitHarrington in reply to Hidden]

Hi,

Thankyou for your message..

It's always mostly us woman bearing the brunt of it... it was same for us, I was totally under fire, my entire life history medical and otherwise laid bare while they barely asked my husband handful of questions

Don't let is scare you though, there is a lot of paperwork and grilling to get through but hopefully we get the end results we so desperately desire!

It's the only thing that keeps me going.

Sending you best wishes xx

[StarsAllAround]

Hi how your feeling is completely normal, just try to take it one day at a time. Maybe try some Mindfulness or meditation? Below I have put my tips for surviving IVF. Good luck on your journey 🙂

1. Keep talking to your partner about how your feeling, don't bottle things up.

2. Be kind to yourself, it is completely normal to feel anxiety for IVF so don't be hard on yourself for how your feeling.

3. Stay away from Google it is not your friend and will only send you down a rabbit hole of unnecessary anxiety.

4. Find things to occupy your mind during treatment as the wait for updates can feel painstakingly long. Like binge watching something, reading a long book, trying a new hobby. I took up jewellery making it was soo fiddly that I had to really concentrate and couldn't think of anything else while doing it.

5. Give yourself little treats for each stage of treatment it is not easy and you deserve a reward for it. For example after every injection I had some chocolate.

6. If you have told people you are going through IVF, try not to be offended or upset by comments or opinions they may give you. Only someone else who has gone through IVF can truly understand and sometimes people just say the wrong thing without realising.

7. Try not to let IVF consume you don't put your life on hold for it. Try to live your normal life doing what makes you happy.

8. Never test before OTD (offical test date), any result before is not accurate and can just cause unnecessary stress and upset. There's a reason your clinic give you an OTD.

9. Plan nice things to do with your partner like a day trip, night away or holiday for after your treatment is finished that way whatever the outcome you will still have something to look forward too.

10. This forum is full of amazing warriors who are always happy to help so post whenever you need too.

11. You are a strong beautiful woman and you've got this ❤️

[DuckyBooks in reply to StarsAllAround]

This comment is amazing advice. All points are completely true.

As someone who went through their first cycle full of anxiety, this advice is spot on. We are currently going through our second cycle and the biggest difference for me has been how I’ve reduced me my stress and worry.

The only thing I’d add is try to take everything a day at a time and not worry about what’s next - next injection, next milestone etc. I had some advice to stop trying and start doing / being - be in the moment of that day.

Sit with the anxiety and ask yourself what you’re most afraid of / anxious about and then try to throw it away. It will never be as bad as you think, you can’t control the outcome so if you’re a person who needs control then control the things you can e.g. drink 2 litres of water a day, go for a walk every day, eat healthily etc.

For me IVF was harder emotionally than physically. The injections are not as bad as you may think, they’re unpleasant at first but you quickly get used to them.

Good luck!!

[StarsAllAround in reply to DuckyBooks]

It took me 3 cycles to learn the advice I've given 🤣. Yes totally agree take it a day at a time!

[KitHarrington in reply to StarsAllAround]

Thank you for your message,

I will be trying hard to do some of these steps, it's been a difficult day today, so just trying to give myself some grace.

I really appreciate your comments and my best wishes to you!

xx

[Eloquentia]

Hi! I am sorry you are feeling anxious. These are completely normal feelings in the face of the unknown. I was quite anxious before we started the first round of IVF, over a year ago now. Currently 32 weeks pregnant after the second transfer. In my experience, IVF was easier on the body than I thought it would be but quite hard emotionally. What helped ease my anxiety before our second transfer was reflexology. Would highly recommend! Very best of luck!

[KitHarrington in reply to Eloquentia]

Hi,

Congratulations to you! It's really good to hear the positive stories, gives us some more hope to hold on to.

Thank you for your comment and support.

Wishing you the best yet to come xx

[SpanielsFamily]

Hi, I agree with other people's comments about feeling anxious is normal.Leading up to starting my injections it all became real for me too and was worried. I work as a Radiographer I'm the NHS and I still have these feelings. But I am pleased to say that the Injections were not nearly as bad as what I had worked them up to in my head. I felt like as soon as I was starting I was already at the end.

Colouring really helped me, as well as gardening. Personally I like to have something to look forward to as simple as going out for dinner as this helps keep my mind focused, or a job round the house. For me work helps.

Just have to find something that works for you.

Good luck with your journey x

[KitHarrington in reply to SpanielsFamily]

Hi,

I hope it feels that way soon, part of me is just in a hurry to want to 'get it over and done with' and other part trying to do one day at a time, hope it doesn't feel longed out as it all unfolds.

Thank you for your support, best wishes to you xx

[Jomo27]

hi kitharrington,

I too am in the same situation as you it seems, I started my first injection this evening and I too had built it up, but I used an ice pack and it really helped and it wasn’t as bad as I expected at all so that was a plus :),

I too feel very anxious about it all, and I too struggle with anxiety so this on top has really tested me! I love the previous posts of what the lovely ladies have put and I agree that trying to take it one thing at a time and busying the mind with whatever works for you! I too am trying to follow this advice, it’s important to keep reaching out and I feel many have the same experiences so it’s nice to share and hear others going through it too it’s a great help! I wish you all the best and feel free to reach out whenever you need too 😊 xxxxxx

[KitHarrington in reply to Jomo27]

Hi,

Wishing you so much luck! Will be thinking of you! 🤞💜

[Positive20]

Hi Kit - yep I was incredibly anxious, cried on the phone non stop when they went through the meds but I had just had a close family bereavement.

It does get easier after administering your first injection and I do think you find strength where you didn’t think you had it.

Good luck - you’ve got this hun xx

[KitHarrington in reply to Positive20]

That's tough to deal with bereavement and the treatment simultaneously.. hope you're doing well now, sending you best wishes 💜

[Positive20 in reply to KitHarrington]

Thanks Kit. Sending my best wishes too. I’m pleased to say I am 8 months pregnant now, I did have multiple failed transfers beforehand and was losing faith but it has worked in the end. It does get easier and that anxiety will settle xxx