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Hospital doctor having IVF - advice please!

PurpleCrocus profile image
18 Replies

Hello all!

Just wondering if any of you lovely people happen to have gone through IVF whilst in postgraduate medical training and, if so, if you have any advice to impart.

I'm a senior registrar in a hospital-based specialty and I'm due to CCT within the next year. We need to start IVF, and have been advised to start ASAP, so I do really want to prioritise this.

I've told my ES, who is very supportive, and I will drop to LTFTT at 60% for my final rotation. But it feels like there are so many spinning parts (CS, rota coordinator, Occy Health) that I'm not sure what I should be doing.

Also not sure what I'm actually best asking for in terms of rota and shifts. My job has lots of runs of long days and nights, with only a few short days. Do I want time off? But then I don't want to delay my CCT! Do I want/need to come of nights? Reduce my long days? It feels kind of hard to plan days off in advanced based on rough estimates.

Also, getting scans is tricky because the clinic is maybe 20min from where we live, but in the totally opposite direction to my current DGH placement, which makes it 1hr10min from work, so the "just call in before/after work" thing is not super easy.

I guess there's all of this even before I start thinking about the post-CCT stuff! Argh!

Sorry for the ramble, I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed with these additional complexities, and so any words of advice or support would be very welcome!

Thanks so much! 😊

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PurpleCrocus
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18 Replies
MammaMia86 profile image
MammaMia86

I don't work in that industry, but i worked for many years in hotels, doing all of those shift, crazy hours, without knowing your shift from one week to the next.

My suggestion will be to sit down with your clinic and try to figure it out your timeline.... explain them the situation and you need to organized your shifts, they should be able to guide you with that.

After talking with them try to speak with your boss to plan according.

My personal advice is that for the egg collection try to get that day and the next day off. Personally I am always with some discomfort and you might feel better without having to worry about work. On the transfer day I have taken it off and I have worked, I think it depends on you.

Best of luck🤞🤞

HedgehogMad profile image
HedgehogMad

Hi lovely, I did my first ICSI cycle as a GP registrar, and a little different as I didn't have shift work thankfully, but I let my surgery know and took the day of egg collection and following day off. They also blocked off some of my surgeries so I could go for scans. The problem is things don't always go exactly to plan and timings can change, plus you will need to come in several times for a scan. Might be best to try and clear your rota of any on calls during the two weeks of stims and egg collection so you don't have to worry about dipping in and out.Feel free to PM me :) xxx

Lovemylion profile image
Lovemylion

Hey love I'm pretty sure JenRoy is an A&E doctor and has to IVF babies. Might be worth contacting her to see how she worked around her shift pattern/long days etc

Good luck and all the best

Xx

Jumpppy profile image
Jumpppy

You may want to look into "banking" embryos now (sequential egg collections without transfers) for now and get embryos with younger eggs. Worry about transfers later when you have more control over your schedule.

Hi there, I don’t have the same job as you but I have a demanding career in environmental health, I used to be a manager in health care previously which was also crazy busy. I’ve had ivf during both but I think we all juggle so much with our jobs and fertility treatment it can feel overwhelming at times. I would ask your clinic for a time line, then request some annual leave on those dates and some around them (just in case things change). For example if they expect egg collection to be on a certain day book that and a few days ahead. Check if your employer has an IVF or fertility treatment policy, mine does but I just didn’t want anyone to know I was having treatment.

Good luck !

PurpleCrocus profile image
PurpleCrocus

Thanks everyone for the responses, it's much appreciated!

It's very hard with requesting leave, because out rota (including leave) is fixed 6 months in advance, which makes it very hard to change things. I'm meeting my supervisor, who I'm hoping will be able to influence the rota manager to let me shuffle things, at least for the likely important blocks. It's just still quite tricky to know dates in advance, and me moving things means getting colleagues to move things, so it gets messy!

I'll try and reach out to JenRoy, who was mentioned. And I will keep pushing with some shift-arranging admin!

Thanks again! 😊

Hopefullavender profile image
Hopefullavender

ED SPR here. I was surprised by how supportive my department was, I came off nights, limited my late shifts. Plan was to just be on days during the retrieval and transfer. I ended up really struggling with side effects and the stress attached to the process. I ended up developing OHSS and having a period of sick leave which after a freeze all cycle I definitely needed.

I’ve kept my treatment to a chosen circle of people but I am always surprised by the amount of medics who have done or are doing IVF. Talk about a club that no one wanted to be part of.

Look after yourself, remember the job can wait, the world will keep spinning without us.

Feel free to message me if you want to chat or have specific questions. Good luck x

Tamaa profile image
Tamaa

Hi. Junior doctor here. Its tricky with hospital job, no doubt. You have got some amazing advices as above. What I would add to it is that you should make your ES, and CS aware of the uncertainty of the whole process. I am sure they will understand. Personally I found being on call after egg collections very challenging. I would advise to anyone undergoing IVF in medical profession to keep post egg collection and embryo transfer days as stress free as possible. I am just about to start a fresh cycle and have taken a break from work to fully concentrate on this. All the best

PurpleCrocus profile image
PurpleCrocus in reply toTamaa

Thanks Tamaa! Yes, my ES is aware and has been great so far (she actually admitted that she'd also had IVF many years ago, so was very supportive, and said she would deal with all of the deanery level stuff for me, like the TPD and HoS, because I'm in a messy situation being close to CCT). I've told my CS but am meeting her next week, so hoping she will be able to help with rota shuffling, as it does seem like I should make sure I have time off.

Best of luck with your fresh cycle! x

hoping2021 profile image
hoping2021

Surgical reg here. Hardest part was prioritising my own health. Really struggled with finding colleagues to hold bleep/ cover clinic etc at short notice. I couldn’t even take my meds on time. I descrubbed once to take my timed trigger shot and all hell broke loose.

I actually ended up being bullied after I did my first cycle. Perception was that I wasn’t committed etc. This led me to delaying further cycles as I didn’t want a similar experience and was trying to manage and recover my professional reputation.

My GP was really understanding of the additional stress and more recently wrote me off sick for the duration of ivf.

Extreme example I know.

PurpleCrocus profile image
PurpleCrocus in reply tohoping2021

Oh wow, that sounds pretty dreadful. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, it's really all very unfair.

I guess it's some of this that worries me too. I'm a Paeds reg on a very short staffed rota (lots of vacant posts), so finding cover will be hard, especially when everyone is already so tired and overworked.

I'm hoping that my supervisors and seniors will be a bit more understanding and help me to at least juggle some shifts, but it's quite a lot of stress getting that sorted.

Thanks so much for sharing. It does make me more aware of the need to prioritise my own needs, because I'm not sure work are invested in that at all. And also good to consider the potential for being signed off, as I wouldn't have thought about that until I was potentially crumbling in a heap, so maybe having that to consider sooner if it's really not going well!

Thanks again, and I really hope things have got better for you!

hoping2021 profile image
hoping2021 in reply toPurpleCrocus

I wouldn’t underestimate the stressors that come from a busy hospital job and how that can negatively impact a cycle. Looking back I wish I had prioritised ivf over my career, I’m angry that I have to make that choice but unfortunately the system is set up that way. You shouldn’t feel guilty about getting signed off fully sick or altered duties during your ivf. You’re so close to CCT now, you’ve done the real job interview which is over ten years of training, and if colleagues can’t support you for 6 weeks of absence for fertility treatment do you really want to work in that department long term as a consultant?

PurpleCrocus profile image
PurpleCrocus in reply tohoping2021

Yes, I worry that the stressors of the job have been having an impact generally already. And sometimes they certainly have because there have been months where there's no way we could have conceived because it's kind of impossible when you don't see one another!

I definitely go through periods of anger too. Firstly at the system and that it's made to feel so difficult just to prioritise yourself. And secondly I feel really let down by the NHS. I feel like I've given them so much of my life, and then in this region I'm too old (36) to be funded, which just feels kind of cruel.

Bt you're totally right, maybe now it's my time to see how supportive they are. I don't really have anything to prove at this stage. I guess it's just a change of mindset for me! And probably a lot of personal work to be done in the "putting myself first" arena!

completely different occupation here again but I found trying to get a consistent scanning time with your clinic really helps, for me early in the mornin (7;45am) suited me and I was minimal disruption to working. Perhaps the week or two you know will be packed with scans etc you could ask for a later Rota if at all possible and arrange morning appointments with the clinic?

Do agree, you should take two days off at egg collection and I also take 2 days of from transfer day!

Best of luck with your journey 🍀 and remember to take time for yourself ❤️

PurpleCrocus profile image
PurpleCrocus in reply to

Hmm, that's actually a good thought. Even just to check with my clinic what the options for scan times are, and then working out what work I could to around that, be it moving my start time or my finish time slightly. Thanks for that idea! 😊

hoping2021 profile image
hoping2021 in reply to

I think the difference is that purple crocus doesn’t have a desk job. My guess is that she has to be in the hospital getting ready to see patients by 7:45. No security of a loo break, food or water break let alone the security of taking drugs on time. She’ll be working 14 hour days as standard with high level decision making and responsibilities. It’s though to do that and juggle fertility appointments.

PurpleCrocus profile image
PurpleCrocus in reply tohoping2021

You're right hoping2021, my job is pretty full-on and unpredictable. It's hard to miss morning rounds, as they're kind of the pivotal action of the day. And then I carry emergency 'bleeps' - either for paediatric emergencies, or neonatal emergencies. So what happens with that can be REALLY unpredictable, especially as I'm now often the most senior paediatric doctor in the hospital. It means I can't really rely on having a break to take a drug, or leave on time!

I AM worried about the decision-making element. Both how the general stress of IVF will impact that, and also how the drugs/hormones will impact that. And then how having my decision-making impacted will be stressful in itself 🤯

I think ultimately I need to try and get as many days off as possible, and then try and come off as many on-calls and nights as possible. Just doesn't leave many 'shift types' to fill my time with 😂

Celet2 profile image
Celet2

Hi,I know you've had several really helpful replies so I'm not sure if this will add much but just wanted to share what I did in case it helps...

I'm a training med reg in a busy DGH and I decided to tell my ES and was referred to occ health early. I also went 80% from the beginning of the year even before starting ivf, just generally to try and avoid getting burnt out and be in a better, less overworked frame of mind. I also told a close friend at work but that was it.

After the meeting with occ health they recommended coming off the on call rota fully and just doing 8-5pm starting for 3 months and then reviewing depending on how things were going. When I thought about the amount of appts/blood tests/scans/procedures and wanting to be off on annual leave during testing days and the day after in case of bad news it seemed completely impossible to do all that around an on call rota. Obviously everyone is different but I just thought that sounded incredibly stressful and the whole ivf experience is already so stressful and unpredictable. As the others have said work can wait and the most important thing is your health. It will probably have an impact on my training depending on how long I'm off the rota for but I've personally decided I'd rather take that risk and do a bit longer later on when this is all over (hopefully) and look after myself now. I think it's so important to prioritise our physical and mental health and also give ivf the best shot at working. I didn't know anyone who went through ivf as a doctor (although as discussed it's more common than we think) and had no guidance but occ health were very helpful and supportive. They didn't know very much at all about specifics of treatment but could see the impact it would have on me and the job etc. I've found it difficult when colleagues don't know what is going on and might assume things or judge you for not doing locum shifts when it's so short staffed etc and there's still that guilt of coming off on calls which I know is silly but I do think it's our right to priorise our health sometimes and it would be normal in other jobs. I'm quite a private person so didn't want lots of people to know but everyone is different.

I'm 6 weeks into that 3 months off the on calls so we'll see how things go. I don't know what people do at work if this actually works and you get pregnant but that's a different subject!!

Anyways sorry that was very long but please feel free to message me privately if you prefer and best of luck with everything x

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