Double donor advice please

Hi,

FIRST TIME POSTING EEEEKK!

I’d love some help

I’m 43 , 44 next month and have had two rounds of IVF privately using donor sperm from abroad. Started at 42 - now a year down the road

AMH was around 18 last year and both rounds of IVF I had 15 and 13 eggs with almost all fertilising and two making it through to PGTA testing in round one. Both embryos were classed as abnormal so not transferred. Round two I skipped the PGTA and had one good enough for fresh transfer on day 5.

It didn’t last til test day sadly

Consultant has advised that using my OE in another round would likely give the same /worse results as I’m hitting 44 in 4 weeks.

she said my egg quality is poor due to my age

So I’ve been looking into DE - which I could use with my last straw of DS I still have frozen.

My clinic have said they can offer me this treatment , starting at around £11,000.

I’ve also looked at a donor bank in London who can offer two rounds with up to two different egg donors for 20k (if first donor doesn’t work for me)

They look like they have 100s of donors and can start treatment quickly.

With London clinic I think you can choose the donor from written info eg hair, eyes, skin … and with my DS from abroad I had pretty much the same info also including pics of him as a child.

There’s also a clinic in Spain I’ve been recommended where I can get treatment starting at around 8k (ish) but they don’t except donor sperm from another clinic - so have to use theirs as around £500

With the clinic is Spain they take your details and they match you

I believe the donor is matched and then starts meds so the egg would be fresh in this case

So my question is … I’m not sure what the best option would be or whether anyone else has personal experience of using double donors and whether the U.K. or abroad is best

Whether frozen or fresh is better

And whether having endometriosis and my age will play a factor in what may work the best (I’ve had ENDO mostly under control since diagnosed at 23 and had the mirina coil for almost 20 years with no surgery needed )

Any advice or support would be hugely appreciated

I feel very confused with it all. I don’t know what meds (other than high dose folic acid and vitamin D ) I should be taking to prep myself, whether I should be having acupuncture, changing my diet etc etc … as I’ve not had anyone really to talk to about it

Thank you everyone for allowing me to be part of such a warm and welcoming community where I feel confident enough to ask for help xxx

[Boo718]

hello. We are on the double donor route and chose to go abroad for it. Personally I found the experience so much more relaxing. Donor eggs from Spain would be anonymous and personally I would go fresh unless you are freezing embryos as eggs don’t always thaw very well.

I would encourage you to do the chromosome testing even if it is double donor. We had a number of abnormal double donor embryos. So it saved a lot of heartache transferring them.

I had 4 donor transfers which resulted in bfn 2 chemical then a bfp. On our bfp I had no acupuncture and I just went with the flow. I took a multivitamin suggested by the clinic folic acid and the medications provided and just got on with everyday life. On the previous transfers we were throwing everything at it Chinese herbs etc … didn’t work.

If u have any questions feel free to pm me xxx

[JA-fnuk Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

If mentioning clinics/costing please use PM

Thank you

Janet

[Hidden in reply to JA-fnuk]

so sorry for mentioning £

[LuxFleur]

Hi there, do you still have those other embryos that were "abnormal?" There have been studies that those tests are not always reliable nytimes.com/2022/04/20/heal...

Some studies have shown that "abnormal" embryos do not actually have a worse chance of a live birth than "normal" ones, as many seem to self correct in the womb. There are many stories of this happening.

For the other stuff—don't give up! You can move to donor eggs now if you want, but you could also try again with your own eggs at a clinic in Spain that specializes in older mothers.

Doctors are always really negative when you're over 42, but you never know! I would definitely recommend diet, supplements, and acupuncture, even just for a donor egg cycle. Make sure you find an acupuncturist who is good and specializes in fertility.

[Hidden in reply to LuxFleur]

thank you for your message xxx

It was really kind of you to reply

I asked my clinic about the PGTA test results and they said that they don’t keep hold of these embryos they class as abnormal - I think I had to sign some paper work at the beginning of my treatment to say I was ok with this - but I’ve since done research into PGTA testing and thank you for sending me the link .

As I hit 44 in a few weeks time I’m starting to get my head round using DE (I already need DS ) so the double donor route is something I’m looking more into - it’s just trying to work out what I need to do next . Thank you for kindness x

[Cat329]

I have had 2 embryo transfers cycles in Spain. One resulted in a very early miscarriage and I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with the second. We chose Spain because I started this journey during Covid and although international travel made it more challenging, the clinics offering DE were up and running much quicker than the UK clinics. Although I am still not 100% comfortable with the anonymous aspect of Spanish donors, my experience was really positive. The clinic were fantastic and it is a bonus being able to have some time relaxing in the sun either side of a transfer. It took the focus off the medical procedure. I have had a history of endo, adenomyosis and 2 Lletz procedures which has led to issues accessing my cervix. The Spanish clinic invited me over for an free investigation first to see if a transfer was viable. A surgeon joined my doctor for the investigation. Other clinics had more of a ‘let’s see how it goes attitude.’ ‘Most international clinics offer a free online initial consultation so you can get a feel for the doctor and medical assistant who would be looking after you. I had initial consultations with clinics in the UK and the Czech Republic but the doctors weren’t a match for me whereas the Spanish doctor made me feel comfortable straight away. Certain aspects of having treatment abroad makes it trickier eg trying to process international prescriptions and different national holidays but I would recommend it. Good luck with your journey. xx

[Hidden in reply to Cat329]

thank you so much for your reply and sharing your experiences with me

It was very kind of you to take the time to offer me advice

Would you be ok if I send you a private message about how the clinic you used in Spain worked and whether all the extras like the meds and transfers were included in the prices ?

Thank you

[Hopeful_dream]

Hello, I am single and went the DD route at 45 after much deliberation about using my eggs with my last frozen donor sperm straw. Am so glad I did as I now have a 15 week old beautiful baby boy. He was born 11 weeks early in Feb after I got life threatening pre-eclampsia so we didn’t have the easiest start but we’re doing great now. I had my treatment in London and used the clinic’s frozen egg bank. Feel free to PM if you want any more details. It was honestly the best decision I’ve ever made. Xx

[Skittles11 in reply to Hopeful_dream]

So glad to see this (though sorry to learn it was a challenging start) - you were really helpful last year when we exchanged some messages - congrats on the birth of your little boy! Xx

[Hidden in reply to Hopeful_dream]

thank you for your reply and I’m sorry it was a challenging start to motherhood - but I’m glad you guys are doing really well now

I’d love to find out more about your treatment and how you went about it all . I’ll pop you a message

Thank you xxx

[Kitkat10]

hi Hidden i’m in a similar boat; 42 and just had 3 x failed transfers of ‘good quality’ blastocysts with my OE, so I am looking into double donor treatment as I have a son with donor sperm.

I used access fertility for my OE cycles and they do multi cycle refund packages for DE treatment which seems reasonable? Might be worth a look? I looked also at the LEB but I’m based too far away so sadly it’s not possible but their egg bank seemed quite big with a range of donors.

Sorry I don’t already have personal experience but lots of people on here do and I’m sure you’ll get some useful info. Good luck 🍀

[Hidden in reply to Kitkat10]

thank you for your lovely message

It would be great to keep in touch , if you’d like, as I’m looking into double donor treatment and hoping to make a decision on my next steps in the next few months xxx and it would be nice to have someone else to talk to that’s going through similar xxxx

[Hidden]

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who replied and gave me such invaluable advice. ❤️❤️❤️

The wonderful Daisy has also been sending me messages about her experiences and it’s been so good to speak to people about it - as it can be a lonely place when you don’t know anyone else going through it. Those that said it was ok to private message them thank you so much I’ll be in touch xxxx

Your messages of encouragement have all filled me with so much hope.

Thank you