Sperm donor advice

[ccsea]

Hi all, I’m deliberating over a shortlist of 3 sperm donors and just wanted to get some advice on the things I’m weighing up…

CMV status - I’m negative but one of my donors is positive. My clinic recommend going for negative but it looks like any risks are really tiny?

MOT 20 verses MOT 30 - my preferred donor has MOT 20 available but another donor (who has less information available so I’m less keen) has MOT 30 available. Does anyone know if the difference has a big impact? I’m stuck between going with my heart and my preferred donor and going with the donor that has greater motility and potentially meaning a greater chance of success?!

Reported pregnancy - it’s reassuring when I see a donor has had a reported pregnancy as it feels like proof their sperm is good! But most of the donors that have availability don’t have reported pregnancies as they’re often new donors.

If anyone else has weighed up these things and has any advice or insight I’d massively appreciate it. I’m tying myself in knots!

[TeddyBear5]

do you have personal info? I based my decision on that rather than anything else as it mattered most to us that we found someone as like my hubby as we could. I didn’t. Worry about the rest as they wouldn’t use them if they weren’t good enough. X

[ccsea in reply to TeddyBear5]

Thanks for your message, I think you’re right about who they use being good enough. It’s just that when you’re faced with options it makes it so hard to weigh up the nuances! I think I’ll go with my gut, that’s the donor that makes me feel excited which is probably the most important thing. Third time lucky hopefully! Thanks for your help xx

[Eggfreezer2015]

If you are having ICSI usually they only need MOT10 so would not really make a difference. My clinic also prefers unwashed. It would be advisable for you to check the guidelines with your clinic. I was CMV positive so could choose either, according to my clinic. So presumably it will not make a difference either and particularly if you are doing ICSI. I weighed up different options with donors and in the end went with one that felt right in my gut. I felt that I am not perfect and trying to seek that also in a donor is not realistic so went with the one that felt right. Hope that helps and good luck on your journey, are you doing this solo?

[ccsea in reply to Eggfreezer2015]

Thanks for your reply 💛. I am going solo on this journey so it’s unbelievably helpful to be able to bounce ideas and get others views on here, I’m so grateful for it! My first two rounds of IVF didn’t work which is why I’m now agonising over every decision this time! I want to go with my gut but I’m not using ICSI so feel like I should go with who’s going to give me the best chances. Think I’ll end up going with my gut as it feels right. Thanks for your help xx

[Eggfreezer2015 in reply to ccsea]

I am also on a solo journey so feel free to DM anytime if you would like to chat. It can be overwhelming and confusing at times. X

[SomeoneSomwhere]

I don’t ever reply to posts I’m a lurker 😂 but I felt like o wanted to say of you fell in love with someone who wasn’t perfect or had a one night stand & fell pregnant you probably go ahead with those pregnancies. We put so much emphasis on these tiny details that pre ivf would have never cross your mind. I would step back from these minute details & look at the bigger picture. From one solo to another give yourself the best chance by the overall health & the highest MOT. CMV is so common & remember when you add together nature & nurture it will be 70% you if not more. Good luck lovey x

[BleuM]

As already mentioned I made my decision based on shared values, beliefs and interests. Try not to overthink it, good luck 🫶

[Twiglet2]

I went for the health characteristics of donor and the key feature ones (skin, hair and eye colour) as the key things and I went for CMV positive even though as was negative as the health and feature ones were more important to us than the almost zero risk for IVF where we never come into contact with the sperm. Donor had No reported pregnancies at the time (has now with ours) and using the same donor again for sibling attempt. I don’t think we had MOT or if we did I clearly didn’t pay attention so can’t comment on that part sorry. Hope that helps!! Xx