End of our journey after round 4 negative 😔

[AMJean]

Hi All,

So just over a week ago we got a negative from our final round - 4th round and 5th transfer. We’re totally gutted… it’s the usual upset after a failed round but then it’s the end of the dream too. After 5yrs of trying, the mission has stopped and there’s no more next steps that sometimes kept us going. I know we have to give it time - we had our first counselling session together yesterday just to get a bit of back up and it was just that. We’re definitely in a better state than we could have been… I feel like my hubby and I have been a good team even through some super tough, crappy times. I had personal coaching throughout this time snd that had helped so much. Even when I thought I didn’t need it, it gave me space to look after myself so I could then be there in a better way for my hubby too. And I’m coming out the other side in tact. I want to thank everyone on this forum. I have felt so supported at some of my darkest times. I wish you all the best on your journeys. You are amazing warriors 💗. This warrior is going to find her ✨after sitting with this for a while. Much love to you all xx

[McQueeny]

I am so sorry you find yourself here, but you are immensely brave. It’s a cruel journey. Wishing you all things wonderful in whatever you focus on next. Sending you strength and love 💪💫

[AMJean in reply to McQueeny]

Thabjs McQueeny x

[Positive20]

You and your hubby certainly have been a fantastic team through this, keep supporting each other through this time of grief.

Remember there are other options if still having children is right for you. If not, the world is absolutely your oyster for you and your hubby to explore it and enjoy some fantastic times with just the two of you.

Make some fantastic plans and goals for your future together and be kind to yourselves, you deserve it. Wishing you both all the luck and happiness that life can bring xx

[AMJean in reply to Positive20]

Thanks Positive20 - that has given me a boost! x

[Poppygarden]

Hi Amjean, sending you so much love. I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve had to go through, you have been so very brave. Hopefully the end of the ivf journey will in time provide some relief. Sometimes ivf can be so consuming. Take the time you need to heal and hopefully plan other exciting things this Summer. It sounds like you have an incredibly solid partnership and you will get through this journey together stronger. Love xxx

[AMJean in reply to Poppygarden]

Thanks Poppygarden - you’re so right about the relief being part of it. The sadness too, but we’ll get there xx

[Babybaby321]

I’m so sorry to hear that Amjean, our thoughts and prayers are with you and whatever you and your hubby decide to do in the future, you will be amazing together. Take care of yourselves. Best wishes

[AMJean in reply to Babybaby321]

Thanks Babybaby321. Best wishes to you x

[Mitco]

Hey, just wanted to reach out to you as I am in a very similar situation. 4 rounds managed to get 1 embryo to return each time. The final failure was heart shattering. We finally had counselling which did help but it does feel we're being pushed towards donor eggs but we're not sure if we have the stamina (or money) to keep going, especiallyas there's no guarantee with them either. We're both 43 this year. I feel like the journey has gone on so long that maybe it's time for us to just focus on enjoying life again without this constant cloud over us. But it has strengthened our relationship as we've supported each other through this difficult time. Sending much love to you and your partner ❤

[AMJean in reply to Mitco]

Hi Mitco, Thanks for your message and sorry to hear what you’re going through too. I recognise that black cloud. We also talked about donor eggs in counselling… just to get all avenues out in the open. Sending love to you both too ❤️

[Debrakay1704]

wishing you all the best for you bright future, sending lots of love x ♥️

[AMJean in reply to Debrakay1704]

Thanks Debrakay1704 ❤️

[HollyT7]

I’m so sorry that this hasn’t worked out for you, I hope that you find your extra special sparkle in life that’s waiting for you both ❤️❤️ xxx

[AMJean in reply to HollyT7]

Thanks for your kind message. ✨❤️x

[Yorkie_hopeful]

just wanted to come on and wish you well. I’m in the same position at 42 after 5 years, five transfers and a final throw of the dice which resulted in zero eggs being collected. I know it’s time to stop, as heart wrenching as that is. It sounds like you have an amazing attitude and are doing everything you can through this massively hard situation. I can totally relate to the element of relief and the desire to regain your sparkle. Sending love and lots of happiness for brighter days the future x

[AMJean in reply to Yorkie_hopeful]

Hi Yorkie_hopeful, It’s such a tough journey isn’t it and this bit is the pits. But, as you say the brighter days are coming. Thanks for your message and good luck with whatever is next for you ✨x

[Daughterofaking]

Just want to wish you all the best in what ever decision you make in the future and I'm so sorry to read what you have been through. Who knows you might get pregnant naturally, it has happened to alot.of people. God bless your hubby for standing string by tou. Take care of your self xx

[AMJean]

Thanks Daughterofaking, Yeah you never know 🤞. Best wishes to you x

[LaraCRGH]

I'm very sorry it didnt work out for you, but wishing you all the best with life after IVF. I did six rounds in the space of just over a year, with a known donor/old friend, and I only got one embryo to transfer. It didn't take, so I took the decision to stop in January, after nearly two years of very intensive IVF. I was 41 when I started the journey and am now 43, and the doctors said I have less than 5% chance of success with my own eggs, so I decided to stop and focus on finding a relationship instead. Anyway, I went through some of the pain you will have gone through, so I know how devastating it is. I feel a lot better a few months on though, although I'm still sad I didn't manage to have children of my own. Who knows what the future will bring for us all though. Good luck and sending lots of love and happiness for the future to you and your partner xxx

[AMJean in reply to LaraCRGH]

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. It’s really tough isn’t it? It’s heartening to hear that things have improved a few months in. Thanks for your message; sending love and good luck with whatever the future brings ✨xx

[LaraCRGH in reply to AMJean]

Thank you xx

[Hidden]

I’m sorry you find yourself in this position but I am also so pleased you have what sounds like a really solid and fulfilling relationship which I have no doubt will make this decision easier.

There is a really good book called Living the life unexpected which talks about adapting to a childless life and I found it helped me to appreciate there were positives to an alternative life - something you definitely lose sight of when on the IVF hamster wheel.

Wishing you all the luck and fulfilment when you embark on your new adventures x

[AMJean in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for the recommendation and wishes. Best wishes to you too ✨☀️x