Im not a very positive person, I find it hard, even though I try really hard, to find the positives in things.
I am really good at masking how I feel and have an array of facades I put on so others don’t know how I am feeling.
This is why posting on this site is really difficult for me as I feel I am opening up, which again I don’t normally do and find hard, but I just feel I need support and only my DH and one other person know we are going through IVF.
I had my first embryo transfer on Sunday, only 2 eggs out of 9 fertilised and the second one did not survive to blastocyst stage, so only one chance,
On Monday, I felt really bloated and had burning sore breasts ( I know this must be from the meds not the transfer) and then yesterday nothing apart from a bit of back ache which was more muscular.
Today nothing, and I have convinced myself it’s all over.
Is this normal…..1. Not to have any signs and 2. to be convinced it is over before even taking a test.
At the moment I feel so isolated, which I know I’m not as DH is really supportive but in my normal way I put up barriers to protect him.
I am trying to keep busy but keep breaking down at silly times, when drying my hair or answering the phone at work.
Sorry for the long post, I keep telling myself to be positive but is this normal to feel like this ?
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Winniebear1
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The symptoms you mention are due to the meds - these will came and go Best try to keep yourself busy -rest when you can - eat a healthy diet - drink plenty of fluids Re-read your favourite book - go for spring time walk with your OH - pamper yourself - watch silly tv . Remember to take your meds as directed and wait for 0TD before testing
Thank you Janet. . I am trying to keep busy and will continue with meds.I have had the dreaded thoughts of testing early but will try and ride it out x
Hi Winniebear1, I am really sorry for your pain. IVF is hard and difficult conceiving is really unfair. All your feelings are legitimate and normal. I know it’s hard, but try to be kind to yourself, you haven’t done and are not doing anything wrong. I experienced three 2WW and they were all different. With my successful one 💕 I felt at peace and optimistic for the first 2 days and then by the third day I had a total melt down and convinced my self it hadn’t worked again as I had no symptoms. I felt really sad and cried super easily until we tested! Keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending you strength xx
Thank you Habibi87 you have definitely reassured me that I may be wrong.Monday and Tuesday daytime I was fine but doubt started to set in Tuesday night and today I have been really down and negative.
Congratulations on your great news and good luck for the future.
The terrible 2WW noone like us to understand exactly what you are going through.
I was talking with some friends about it the other day and every time after the transfers I keep googling symptoms I have been in alllll the pages about it, just in case I can find something new hahahahaha
One of my friends kept reminding me that she had no symptoms for a while, and you need to remember that there are lots of women that it takes them a few weeks to realize that are pregnant.
I am having my transfer next week so I will start to go crazy from that day....as you start second guessing everything.
I'm also in a TWW (albeit for a medicated cycle, not IVF, so can only imagine how much more intense your experience may be)
I find that some cycles i have certain symptoms and others none at all, and there is no logic to what means what. And google doesn't help because different women experience things differently. I for one didn't have sore breasts during the cycle i had a chemical, when it's usually a key pregnancy sign! So all i can recommend now is to think you're still in with a good chance until OTD which is the only way to truly know xxx
the 2WW is agony, so be gentle with yourself. It’s totally normal not to have any symptoms - I didn’t, on my only bfp - and it’s totally normal to have days when you’re down and sure it hasn’t worked…
This is the hardest thing anything of us have ever had to do, I’ll bet - all your feelings are normal and justified 💫🤞
The 2week wait was the worst part of the journey for me so you are definitely not alone!!
The symptom spotting, the mind games…it’s just really tough so be kind to yourself and keep busy.
My first 2 week wait, I was managing to hold it together during the day and then became inconsolable in the evening…madly googling anything and everything and imagining the worst. This was my 1st BFP and I had no real symptoms.
I’ve since done another 5 2 week waits and they don’t really get any easier but please do use the support from this forum-especially if not many people know what you are going through-it has been invaluable to me.
your symptoms (or lack of) is totally normal as is your rollercoaster of emotions, especially with all the hormones we are being pumped with!
I think the negative thoughts are sometimes our minds way of preparing us in case it’s an unsuccessful cycle so we don’t spend the whole 2WW on cloud 9 sure it’s worked then BOOM it hasn’t… can cause unneeded worry though too 🙈 I mean most 2WW I am just a shambles really 🤪😂
Like others have said there really is nothing we can do except try and distract ourselves best we can 🤗 good luck for test day xxx
Thank you Twiglet2, I’ve started listening to mindfulness recordings in the evening to try and detach myself. It works whilst I am doing them but then, BANG, back in the moment.
I keep thinking do I test early..but DH is against it.
you’ve got to do whatever works for you! I used to try and hold out but now I don’t even kid myself 🤭 as that’s what works for me. It prepares me better for test day. I hate it when people on here say ‘don’t test early, you have to hold out’ you really don’t and no one should feel bad for testing early, we just need to know that it’s less accurate if we do and for some that can make it worse but never a ‘mistake’ we have enough pressure on us without beating ourselves up about testing lol. you just have to do what works for you in that moment and that is so unique to everyone and even every transfer! I love the calm app for chilling and the podcasts by that Irish fertility doctor if you can find them, his voice is very relaxing 🤣 🤗💜 xx
This is totally normal. I had no symptoms until week 6 and even then they disappeared at week 12. In 2nd Trimester felt pretty normal and like I was not pregnant although I was. Fingers crossed this egg is the one! Feel free to speak to the ladies on here I always found them very helpful and understanding. Also most clinics offer counselling so that maybe an option too if you wanted to try it. Try and be as kind to yourself as possible with a few little treats over the 2 weeks. Also like Janet said try and wait until OTD to test. Otherwise you will just end up 2nd guessing yourself each test.💞
oh you poor thing. I am in the same boat, to the day! 2 fertilised eggs, 1 blasto, 1 fresh transfer also on Sunday!
I had bad cramps on Sunday, horrendous diarrhoea (I think from taking cyclocest rectally!) and since then nothing , not even sore breasts. Just cramping, which I’m told is the progesterone.
I don’t think you can read into it, lots of people say no sx then BFP, others say the opposite.
I think it’s ok to be realistic , a bit of negativity is understandable. You are trying to protect yourself from potential disappointment. Just try try not to torture your mind and when you’re feeling v negative consciously do something to distract, tell yourself it’s not helping you, and go for walk, make cup of tea etc That’s what I’m trying to do. With mixed success!
Look after yourself and know you’re not alone 💗 Do PM me if it would help.
I loathe online/phone games but I downloaded candycrush in my 2ww and every time I started drifting into negative thinking I grabbed it and played. It's agony waiting. I had two failed transfers and lost one in the thaw. Now I am 7 weeks pregnant with my last embryo and in the long wait to 12 weeks! This process is so so so hard. Forgive ANY feelings you have. They will move on faster if you do! And feeling it hasn't worked is just your mind trying to prepare yourself. We all have different ways of doing it, but the fact is only a test will tell. So nurture yourself, forgive yourself, and take each tiny step one at a time. You'll be there before too long! Wishing you all the very best!!
I should add that I've had symptoms and not had symptoms and there has been no correlation with the outcome! Very frustrating! Also I had very negative thoughts and even after my positive result which brought enormous feelings of shame and guilt. These hormones are FULL ON. It's all just our brains trying to cope with this incredibly difficult journey!! Be kind to yourself x
Shame and guilt at having negative feelings DESPITE a positive result. The brain can do strange things. But in this journey of so much waiting and loss and hope, to then get negative feelings and depression when you are so fortunate, leads to the most awful feelings of shame and guilt. It was a shock too. Horrible.
It was all medication and hormones I think. Also some luke warm reactions from family after all I've been through and perhaps processing of some difficult experiences/decisions in past cycles with my clinic?
I am also under a lot of stress and pressure from bad neighbours and am doing all this on my own. It has been extremely hard (as we can all relate to) and maybe it was just all the feelings coming up after lots of holding on and waiting.
If there is one thing we can all empathise with, it’s that horrible 2WW. Support wise, I did my very first IVF round last year and we told no one apart from our family but we still felt so alone when our FET failed and although I didn’t contribute to this amazing community, it was a comforting place to be. We only recently told all of our friends as we needed their support, but of course that came with time so only do what you feel comfortable with and I’m so glad you’ve started opening up. I too am like you, and find it hard to be vulnerable and believe it or not but this is my first ever post because I really relate to how you’re feeling. I’ve just had another failed FET from a chemical and although I’ve told everyone I know, I still feel alone which is why I’m ready to share more and get involved in this community.
What you’re feeling is completely normal, from both my FETs which were chemical I felt different. First time had a load of symptoms and this time I had none, nevertheless the little embryo did implant both times. I think now having experienced both spectrums I might be less likely to Google like crazy the next time, but no promises. Don’t be hard on yourself for not staying positive, it’s not easy. Wishing you a peaceful 2WW and all the best for OTD.
I am so sorry to hear your news, sending lots of vertical hugs to you and thank you for feeling you can open up in a reply to me, I really appreciate it and completely relate to finding it so difficult.
We have only confided in only one close friend, not even family know. I’m not entirely convinced they will be supportive.
I am trying to stay positive and writing on here has helped focus my mind and make me feel less alone
Hi Winniebear, Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. The tww is a struggle 🤯. There’s all sorts going on in your body too due to meds etc. If you need to let stuff out emotionally, let yourself. It’s completely normal to be feeling all of it. One thing I read recently that helped me was that we often think negatively as a way to be ‘realistic’ and that’s not true. Positive and negative things happen in life…, to be ‘realistic’ is to have an awareness of both. It is probably the uncertainty that makes us dive into the negative. Try and let it be for a bit. Distract yourself, look after yourself, treat yourself etc. You’ve got this! 🌸✨🤞🍀x
I am a really logical and realistic thinker and agree entirely with what you have said in such a great way.
It’s almost a case of underpromise, I don’t let myself promise me that it has worked so that if it hasn’t it’s not a big bang revelation. I am trying to turn my thinking around
I am now trying listening to mindfulness recordings which are helping
aw It’s so normal- all of it. Don’t ever stop meds because you are feeling “not pregnant”. I had zero symptoms with my pregnancy. Zero. I wish you the best. Big hugs.
Thank you McQueeny, test day is next Friday, can't come soon enough.Had a major meltdown yesterday 100% convinced it was all over again. I'd had some cramps and a heavy feeling in the bottom of my stomach and back ache on one side. This has all gone now and everything feels normal, so 'stupid' brain decided I must gave lost it.
Had a progesterone test at clinic and waiting for results today. Nurse was great Explained it was even too early to do the blood test. So not yo read too much into that. Made me feel a little better, but still not great.
Hi I just came across this post from Googling! (Probably not the right thing to do during the 2ww). My test day is next Saturday 29th and it is my first round of IVF. I'm 36 years old and had to also have icsi. They managed to retrieve 5 eggs but only 1 fertilised. I had a day 5 fresh transfer, however the nurse said although it had grown, it hadn't made it to blastocyst but it was better to put it back than to keep it in the lab. This obviously disheartened me straight away. I've had cramps etc but I'm taking 2 400mg cyclogest everyday so that is to be expected. Other than that I don't feel any different and I'm going crazy!
I’m currently in the two week wait take my test tomorrow, it has been so hard these last 5 days I’ve been feeling like it’s not worked, I was really positive at first.
I couldn’t help myself an took a test this morning which was negative not even the faintest line ( day 10)
I’m assuming mine would be positive by now really can’t see it changing in a day, so just expecting the worst. I’m going it alone so I’ve had no one to really turn to. I hope everything works for you an you get your positive xx
Shelly0805Keep positive ( I know how hard that is and it's always easier to give advice than take )
Share your feelings on here, it's helped me so much. I only have a few people to talk to and they don't really understand the emotional roller coaster we are on.
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