Feeling really down 😔

I started my first IVF cycle 6 weeks ago. I responded badly to stimmulation + they discovered a polyp that wasn't there before. We got 6 eggs of which one made It to blastocyst and for freezing. I just got the call that nothing else has survived... The cycle is been cancelled so that I can get my polyp removed.

I know I should be grateful that I have one, but instead I feel really down... I feel deflated. We made all this to have to wait, to add a surgery to the list and to have only one chance. I just keep thinking all the bad stuff that can happen: that It won't resist the thawing, that It won't give a positive, that if It does, I will misscarry... I think my brain has got so used at things going wrong, that It only thinks that way.

I also never felt old before and now I just turned 35 and feel old and useless.

We are considering adoption but most of my family every time I talk about It doesn't look enthusiastic at all. I am scared, of course I am scared, but if that is the only thing that keeps me up sometimes... I don't want to keep hearing all the disadvantages It has...

I feel It is unfair and at the same time I am blaming myself for not being grateful...

Happy Women's day

[Smang]

Hi Angnome, I’m sorry you are feeling down. The fertility journey is so difficult and cuts really deep at times. My friend had only one egg that made as well, wasn’t too graded and she has a beautiful baby girl. Just remember it only takes one. Sending positive vibes your way xx

[Hidden in reply to Smang]

I know It only takes one, but you get used at things not working... But at least I have all your good wishes, and I am sure they are going to a good place, although I can't see that place yet

[Elizabeth86]

Hey, completely get how you feel and have been there. The emotional side of infertility and ivf is so tough and nothing can prepare you for it. I started with 14 eggs (thought wow that’s good) only 5 fertilised (very disappointed) and one made it to transfer, the other 4 not ‘good enough’ for freezing. I felt just like you. Petrified I only had one chance. But... I got my bfp. So when you get fed up hearing ‘it only takes one’.. it really does! Your embie has come so far and is there waiting for you. Sending hugs and positive vibes xxx

[Hidden in reply to Elizabeth86]

Congratulations Elizabeth! Really Happy for you!

I just think I Will not be good enough for It...

[Elizabeth86 in reply to Hidden]

You are the one that got it this far. Honestly I remember finding out this news and it hit so hard. Give yourself a few days and hopefully you get yourself back in the zone and ready to give this embie everything you’ve got 😘 take care xx

[Tugsgirl]

Take a breath and just try to take it one step, one problem at a time. I know it’s easier said than done not to become overwhelmed. Sounds like you have a good embie there and there’s every chance it could give you your bfp. And 35 is not that old. When you get to 38 you’ll wish you could still be 35, if that makes sense? Lol. As for adoption, it doesn’t matter what your family or anyone else thinks. It’s your choice. However you get your family it will still be your family. Good luck xx

[vic77 in reply to Tugsgirl]

great advice from Tugsgirl 💜💜💜 you will have up and down days and you just have to accept the down days .I had one yesterday and today is better and tomorrow will be for you too..1 embie is a it takes and each month you would only normally have one egg..a lot to go through for one I know but it could be the one. be strong for your wee frostie and you will be reunited soon xx

[Hidden in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thanks, just reading you helps a lot...

I guess I am being too negative and keep thinking of everything that could go wrong and that went wrong or go wrong...

We never know what will happen tomorrow It could even be good 😉

Xxx