Last chance

[Williamsgirl1]

Hi ladiesI'm 42 and just about to have my very last FET. I've had 3 others with no success despite good quality etc. I'm trying to be positive but just feel really anxious and can't help feeling worried that if this one doesn't work then that's all our chances gone.

I suppose I'm scared of how low I'm going to feel, it been tough after other failed rounds but this one will be worse.

I don't have anyone else who's in my position all friends have children and don't really understand.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you all.

[DreamingOfTwo79]

Hello Williamsgirl1, oh I can very much relate to the immense pressure you must be feeling what with it all riding on this last transfer. Will you be doing anything differently this time compared to the previous rounds? Did your clinic try to investigate why it wasn't successful yet? x

[Williamsgirl1 in reply to DreamingOfTwo79]

Hi, all investigations are fine no cause at all found. Last transfer was with HRT and extra progesterone as I often don't ger anywhere near the 2 weeks, one transfer I had started my period and it was finished by the time test day came! Hoping they will give me extra progesterone this time so I can at least get to the 2 week point. Tho time its a natural transfer so no meds as yet which I'm glad of as the HRT made me feel rotten!

Thanks for getting back to me, it's a lonely process at times 🥰 xx

[Twiglet2]

Is there anyway you can take away that ‘last chance’ scenario for you mentally? Actually make the decision after test outcome about next steps rather than before it? There’s normally always other options (even if you don’t want to do them) like donor, adoption, another round that you can properly dismiss after this round rather than the double pressure of a 2WW plus ‘last chance’ perhaps? And leave.the decision about the future until after, when hopefully it won’t matter anyways as this one will have worked 🤗 good luck lovely xx

[Williamsgirl1 in reply to Twiglet2]

Hi Thanks for getting back to me. Your right I need to try and switch my mind set but it's hard. I believe positivity helps of which I have absolutely none at the moment!

We could consider a private round after this transfer but I don't want to go through all that if the chances are very low given my age etc so will need to discuss with my consultant but it just sometimes feels like you have to accept its not going to happen for you and stop torturing yourself.

[Twiglet2 in reply to Williamsgirl1]

totally understand that I just always think it’s best to focus on the what’s next after the round im in as it brings me more stress and knowing there’s possibilities helps but not working through them yet (hopefully that makes sense 🙈) just helps me focus on the current round and not worry about last chav e as the one time I said defo no more (which wasn’t even the case for us!) I was a mess the whole cycle until we decided that there was maybe other options and I could relax more during the 2WW. I guess we are all different though l, that’s just what works for me in case it helps 🤗💜 xx

[Williamsgirl1 in reply to Twiglet2]

Thanks that all makes perfect sense. I'm going to try and just focus on this transfer as you say and cross everything I eo t need to plan the next steps 🤞 xx

[AMJean]

Hi Williamsgirl1, Wishing you so much luck with your FET. I’m 44 and recently started my injections for my 4th and final round, so I know where you’re at! I’m trying to keep positive too. Putting it all into this last try. Also, feeling frightened of the what ifs… but trying to save my energy by focusing on the now… for now. Sending hugs your way 🤞🍀x

[Williamsgirl1 in reply to AMJean]

Thank you appreciate your kind words. Wishing you all the best too hopefully lots of happy times ahead for us both xx