7dp5dt - think it may be over and not sure what to do about time off

[Minniemouse88]

Hi all,

Please can I ask what your experiences are of going back to work after a failed cycle?

I'm day 7 post transfer but getting all the signs of an impending period so convinced it hasn't worked for me. This is my first transfer and I'm really anxious about how I'll cope if I get the negative result on my test day, which is Monday. I don't think I will even have the courage to ring in sick.

How do you all cope with this time? Do you plan to go off in advance. I feel really guilty about work as I've had to take and swop my leave about so much already.

Any suggestions and support welcome.

I hope you are all doing okay too.

Much love xx

[darkbuthappyplace]

hello, I’m so sorry that you’re feeling like this, I know this anxiety all too well.

For my first 5 cycles I didn’t tell my employer so just had to suck it up in terms of the BFN news. However, I did do some things to help manage it. I would tell the clinic to call once I’d finished work so that I didn’t have to face the day with the news and had time to process.

Or if my beta was on a Monday, I’d take HPT on Sunday to prepare myself, so the Monday was just the confirmation.

But tbh, I’ve felt almost numb each time I got the confirmation. I’d been so upset during the tww knowing I was out, I kind of already managed the upset.

I work from home so that makes it easier I would move any non urgent calls to another day.

If your workplace know, hopefully they can be sympathetic and understanding if you need some time out to process. We’d take time off if we were physically unwell we just find it hard to do for mental health.

I’m not sure any of this is helpful but you’re not alone. Hope you get the space you need if it’s not the result we want xxx

[Minniemouse88 in reply to darkbuthappyplace]

Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. I'm feeling much the same as you; for me Monday's test will only confirm what I already suspect so probably in the worst but of the grieving now I guess.I'm patient facing so think I might take a day off. My manager has been really supportive thankfully.

Really helpful to thank you xxx

[Eggfreezer2015]

I am also sorry to hear that you are experiencing these emotions, it is anxiety ridden and takes it toll. I’ve had one failed transfer and the day I was expecting the call back from the clinic I did block my diary out so did not have any important meetings. I was devastated when I found out that it did not work, and that afternoon I did the bear minimum to get through the day at work. Lucky I was wfh. I worked the rest of the week as had a big client deliverable and struggled massively as I felt like I did not have time to mourn. This time round I’m going to book the day off work, hopefully it will be good news, if not I’ll have a day when it’s still very raw to process and mourn. Hope that helps and good luck on your journey X

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Eggfreezer2015]

Thank you and sending you good wishes also. I think I'm grieving already so have decided to wait and see how I feel on Monday. I've booked half a day on Monday and planned to work from home in the afternoon. I was totally useless at work yesterday. Managed to visit a patient and write notes, then pretty much stared at the screen all day until I gave in and took some Flexi leave. Thank you for to your kind words xxx

[Elsidee11]

so sorry you’re feeling like this 😔❤️ it’s such an anxious time. I didn’t take the time off work, and I wish I did. I was feeling okish, as I kind of knew it hadn’t worked, and then someone at work announced their pregnancy to the whole company with a baby scan image which just sent me over the edge, I just broke down. I should have been kinder to myself and given myself some time to process my feelings. I think book the day off, because either way it goes, it’s good to process your feelings. Good luck xxx

[Minniemouse88 in reply to Elsidee11]

Oh no, how awful for you. It's such a cruel process and seeing others living the dream just rubs salt in the wound. I hope you are in a better place now. Thank you for your kind words. Sending love and best wishes to you too xx