Not sure what to do...

[Ersky13]

So we had a BFN this morning. Can't describe how I feel. We had ET on 26 May, and apart from some minor spotting, I had no other symptoms and nothing went wrong. I don't understand.

Trying to focus at work, but it's really hard. If I was at home, I'd be in a crying heap, but that's not really helpful is it. Glad that most people in the office don't know, couldn't cope with the pity.

Now I am not sure what is going to happen to my body. I was almost convinced it was going to be good news because nothing bad had happened. I just don't understand why it hasn't worked, I did everything right.

Shall I continue taking my folic acid and vitamin supplements for 'women trying to conceive'? Almost feels like a slap in the face. I've been taking them since September, and it just seems pointless. Every time I take it I am reminded at how useless it all is.

Sorry. Don't mean to be so negative. I'm just stuck here at work trying to figure out how I feel. Terrified of starting to bleed- will it be more painful than normal?

Booked in for a follow up appointment next week.

Hope all the others who were testing today had a positive outcome

xx

[baby2016]

I'm sorry to read your post 😓 Can you not book the afternoon off and go home? Carry on with the vitamins as they are for helping prevent certain illnesses in babies, so det worth taking them still. Go out for tea with your partner and eat whatever you want! Talk through it all with him and you'll feel a little better. Not sure if your AF will be heavier as currently on my 1st round, however I would pressume it would be with some of the medicine being for womb line thickening. Hope your follow up appointment goes well x

[Ersky13 in reply to baby2016]

Thank you. Yes, looking forward to a big glass of something very alcoholic later! Can't really leave work as we have a big project on this week and I need to be here- but in a way it is a good distraction. Had some cramps already, so I suspect I'll start period later. Sigh.

Thanks for your kind words

xxx

[MommaBear16]

Hi Ersky I'm so sorry to read your news this morning. It's so unfair

I don't think there will be much that will make you feel better right now but I'm in my 2ww and have made my plan of things to do this summer if it's a BFN... I'm going to drink champagne (because DH wouldn't dare complain about the cost ;)), go on a little holiday (to drink champagne), go horse riding, start running again, eat a few naughty foods and drink a diet coke (because I've cut almost everything out for months now!) and spend time with good friends and family enjoying the summer before we start again.

I also have made a list of what I'm going to do differently in the next cycle; eat as much organic food as possible, only use non-perfumed products, do yoga before and during the cycle, have more acupuncture sessions, cut out as much sugar as possible before I start meds and relax more because I'm hopeless at sitting still!

It might sound a little daft but it helps me to know I still have a plan. I would probably stop taking the vitamins for a couple of weeks just so there wasn't that daily reminder but I would give myself a deadline for when I will start all over again because I know the structure would help give me a focus.

I really hope you start to feel better soon. This result at the end of such an agonising couple of weeks makes the blow even worse. If you need some time off work you should take it, you are protected for the next couple of weeks after treatment I think so go to your GP and get signed off.

Sending lots of healing vibes your way x x x

[Ersky13 in reply to MommaBear16]

Thank you! Yes, I also tried to have a plan in case of this result- it included a parachute jump! Best get planning that properly! Eek...!

We are also moving house in September, so I guess now we need to talk about when to start treatment again. We paid for a 3-cycle treatment plan, and this was No. 1, so not giving up yet

Thanks also for the health tips- I will certainly have a think about what else I can have control over next time round.

Good luck to you xxx

[MommaBear16 in reply to Ersky13]

Wowza - I'm all for going wild but I'd never be that brave! Sounds like you have lots to look forward to, this isn't the end it's just a bump in the road until there's a bump in your tummy

Take time for yourself and then get planning a few adventures!

Lots of luck next time round, keep us posted x x x

[Kat9lives]

So sorry to hear your news xxx

[Ersky13 in reply to Kat9lives]

Thank you xx

[Imd123]

Sorry to hear that. I'm not sure if you were taking progesterone or any other meds but if you stop them there is a chance AF will arrive after that. If your not on meds then I guess it's a waiting game for it arriving. Don't be surprised if it's arrival hits you hard. After I got told I had miscarried a week later I started bleeding and it was like I was finding out again, as I think there's is always a part of you that holds out hope!

But def think of things you want to do but couldn't if it had worked. Drinking and chocolate are probably a good start!

As for the vitamins, I have been buying pregnacare trying to conceive for nearly 5 years so get the disgust at having to keep taking them. But if you are planning on going through treatment again in the nearish future then it's probably best to keep taking them as they recommend taking things like folic acid at least 3 months before conception. Chuck the box with the smiling, probably super fertile, lady on the front and just see it as part of your daily routine!

This will hurt a lot for a while then you will be able to look to the future!

Good luck

[Ersky13 in reply to Imd123]

Haha love it- I hate those pictures too! Agree I should throw away the boxes! Thank you for making me smile today

xx

[Hidden]

Hey

So sorry for your news I went through what you are now and even though I felt totally useless and like you nothing went wrong in some of the transfers I kept on taking the pills as I know we were going to go again.

Have a rest hell even a drink I did and try to grieve for your loss and wen you feel strong enough go again xx

[pm27]

Really sorry to hear you got a BFN. Take some time to recover emotionally and physically.

[Ersky13]

Thank you everyone for your kind and supportive words- I love this site, and don't know what I'd do without it! You're all so lovely and have really been a help.

xxxx

[Hidden]

Thinking of you xxx

[Ersky13 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xx

[EmBlazes]

It is such a horrible shock when everything has gone to plan and you get to the end and.. a BFN is just such a NOTHING. I was devastated my first cycle when it hadn't worked. I was sure it had worked too but it turned out the symptoms I thought I was experiencing was due to the progesterone pessaries. The feeling of hopelessness will diminish. Keep looking after yourself and definitely keep taking the preconception vitamins - it will help for your next cycle. Good luck X

[Ersky13 in reply to EmBlazes]

Thank you

xxx

[Cmat]

So sorry. I felt like I needed a break from the pills too recently. I've been eating spinach every day to still get the folate (eg added onto an omelette with cheese or added to a smoothie) and Brazil nuts for the selenium etc. I will go back on them but I personally think a break every now and then does no harm. For me the bleed after the BFN was pretty normal and nothing compared to the emotions - just give yourself time to feel ok again xx