Me again full of questions today so apologies for spamming the feed!
If all goes to plan (which who am I kidding it never does 😂). Then my second FET will be 21st March.
During my first FET I was lucky enough to plan it around my job and be on leave for the 2 week wait. I have a new job and no longer get the school holidays off.
Initially I was just planning on working after the transfer but now I it is approaching and my anxiety is increasing I don't know if I should have time off.
I am a nurse within a clinic where I am on my feet most of the day and will be bending, kneeling pretty much most of the visits etc (as I do a lot of leg dressings).
I am really in two minds! I don't know if work will be a good distraction. I don't know if I will be anxious at over doing it at work. I don't know if I have time off and we do get pregnant if I have the 2 weeks off will I be anxious about going back?
I may have to take the 2 weeks unpaid which will obviously affect us financially. My partner has said its only money and to not worry as we will manage which we will.
If anyone has any advice either way or what they did I would appreciate it!!
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JadeH92
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Hi Jade, you know your body so I’d trust your instinct if you can. I went to work and then dinner out after my successful transfer but my job is certainly less physical than yours. In my case, work was a very good distraction. How about taking a few days off so you have a bit of a balance between relaxation and work? The director of my clinic said movement is good and that bed rest can be detrimental but clearly you’ll want to be feeling well. Best of luck with your decision and transfer! x
Thank you for your reply! I have been thinking more about it today I am thinking have one or 2 days off or if possible request lighter duties and then go back to work the following week because I will have to go back to work if I am pregnant anyway for the rest of the pregnancy 🤞🤞
It's soo frustrating because if I was pregnant naturally I wouldn't even know at that point so would be in work anyway but there is just soo much riding on everything!
Thanks again and congratulations on your little one he is beautiful 💕 xx
Thank you, we are very blessed. It’s impossible not to second guess everything. What to eat, drink, how to exercise etc. It’s hard to find peace throughout the process but I can empathise on the needing to keep busy, and lighter duties sound like a good idea. x
Hello lovely. I’ve not actually had a transfer yet so hardly an expert, but I do think you should listen to your heart on this one. If you feel like a break would do you good, and also that then you won’t worry about your physical job hampering your chances, then I think you should go for it.
Yes, it’s a loss of earnings, but in the grand scheme of things it hopefully Sony make too much difference. How you feel is more important!
Fingers crossed you have got lots of lovely embryos ready for a transfer soon 🤞🤞.
I do think at least having the follow day off for me will be a good idea but now I've been thinking about it, if I have any more time off after then my anxiety with returning after the two week wait would be worse if that makes sense.
I work in a school (TA) and explained this to my clinic consultant prior to transfer, he said all I needed was the day of egg collection 48hrs after due to the sedation and then the day of transfer and the day after, eg 5days. He said I was completely fine to go back to work but to take it easy. I remember putting up a display or two in my ttw but with my anxiety I find I’m better if busy.
Do what you feel is right but try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Lots of luck and baby dust 💕💕💕
Thank you soo much for replying. I will run it by my clinic again when I register day 1 to see what they advise but I think I'm going to just take a few days after off because I know it will benefit me by keeping busy to. Thank you for your well wishes too 💕💕
I'm just at the end of my two weeks annual leave (had loads to take off before end of March). First week was fine as had EC and the was sore for two days so def worth it. Had fresh transfer on Sunday and this week has been torture. Wish I had been in work to be honest. I've googled and read threads to the point of obsession and also stupidly did an early test today at 5dp5dt which was inconclusive (me and my husband aren't sure we can she the faintest of faint lines or not). In short it's down to how you cope with waiting. this is my first cycle and I thought I will breeze through this bit but wish I had worked now!!!
Good luck on this transfer I've got my fingers crossed for you 🤞🤞. I remember really fighting the urge last time to test early and it was soo hard, so it is easy done. I think I'm going to have a few days off and plan to go back the second week and try and just go on as "normal" but let's face it I know I'll be obsessing every waking minute anyway 😂😂. Thanks for replying 😘
I don’t take time off for the TWW, but I have a desk job so hardly comparable. I’d say try and take it easy for the first 48 hours - maybe 3 days max - but after that, personally, some distraction is good! It’s so hard not to think about it all the time, if I had nothing forcing me to focus on something else I think I’d go slightly mad
I have a toddler at home (from previous IVF) so can’t help moving around a lot and even picking him up etc, nurses assured me that as long as I don’t do anything stupid it shouldn’t be detrimental .
Thank you. I think the general consensus is like what you have said / done. I know what I'm like anyway so I'll obsess regardless of if I am in work or not so being in work I suppose will be a bit of a break. The way I also see it is I will have to go back after the 2 weeks if it is successful anyway and loads of nurses go on to have healthy "normal" pregnancies so hopefully mine won't be any different 🤞 xx
I had three TWWs in close succession last year - one I carried on as normal, then after that ended in an early loss I took the whole 2ww off for the next, rested and was pretty strict with diet etc, but same thing. For the third (a FET) I was super stressed at work, on conference calls and emails going in and out of transfer, massive 7hr round trip drive to clinic and back, and went straight back into very long hours (all desk based though) so barely slept.Then renovated a house, got pulled around by my massive puppy, even lifted him onto vets table without thinking (he was 30kg+) and my family decided to visit to add to the fun. I'd run out of leave by that stage and because of the two earlier losses I felt I couldn't put my life on hold anymore. Plus it was good to be entirely distracted. When I got an early BFP again I didn't want to get my hopes up it would last so I just carried on. To my surprise it lasted and was much stronger than the previous two. I'm now 32 weeks. So what I did during 2WW didn't make any difference for me and despite my best efforts, it seems you can't worry your little one away! Ideally, yes I would have liked to have been relaxed (possibly on a beach somewhere...) but I think ultimately it was down to my hormones and the meds, maybe also chance, and there's not a whole lot you can do either way (within reason) to change the outcome. But I think you have to bear in mind whether you would regret what you did/didn't do if it didn't work, so if taking a bit of time off helps with that then then it's worth it for your mental health (if you're a nurse then you probably have enough on your plate already!). Very best of luck ☘️
Congratulations! So happy to hear you are now 32 weeks that's amazing news. Not long now until you meet your little one 🥰. I agree I think it is just "what will be, will be" but you are right I know after my miscarriage from my first transfer I over analysed every little thing I did in the days before, I obviously couldn't find anything because it wasn't anything I had done but you can't help question things either way. Thanks for sharing your experiences it has been really helpful ❤️
Thank you! Bit scary, but yes nearly there I still worried that I had messed everything up all the time - e.g., I had a bit of a breakdown when I read you weren't meant to have licorice during pregnancy and realized the 'healthy' herbal teas I'd been having contained licorice. Once I calmed down and got some perspective I saw that the studies were based on women who'd basically consumed their weight in pure licorice on a daily basis and that a little extract in tea wasn't going to be catastrophic. Same for warm baths (was that one too hot?), lifting things (was that heavier than a watermelon?), decorating (is natural odourless chalk paint less toxic than a cheapie quick drying one coat ?)... but I think it's understandable after what we've gone through x
😂😂😂. It's not funny is it but if we don't laugh we would cry and I know I would be the same. I remember after my first transfer when they give you the list of things you can't and can't eat / do . I was looked at like I had lost it when in a homemade ice-cream shop I asked if the milk they used to make the ice-cream had been pasteurised 🤦🏼♀️. But you are soo right we have put ourselves through and sacrificed soo much it makes you question everything
So I was told that the first three days are the days where you really need to relax so maybe just take a few days off. The return to work May take your mind off the 2WW
Thank you, I think that's what I have decided 3 days off so depending when it falls it looks like I'll have the 1st week off and go back the second week. Thanks again for your advice 💕💕
Best of luck to you 💕🍀🙏 I was off for 4 days after transfer then I went back but took it easy if your work are not aware ladies gynaecology problems in your stomach means no heavy lifting or bending isn’t too far from the truth then 😘 best of luck lovely xxx
Thank you. Yes I was going to see if my second week I could possibly do slightly lighter duties definitely no heavy lifting but no bending will be more difficult as I do a lot of leg dressings but like I've said in another comment I know plenty of nurses who carry on working with no issues so 🤞 this is my time too 💕 Thanks again for taking the time to reply 😊
Take it easy on transfer day but try and remain as normal as possible for the 2ww. Just no heavy lifting or vigorous exercise I think is what’s recommended. Best of luck to you xxx
Hi Jade, my transfer was on a Saturday so I had the Saturday off and Sunday then worked as normal from the Monday. My job is office based but I was working from home. I remember changing the bed that evening and thinking/ stressing that I shouldn’t of done that 😳 but I got a BFP and had my perfect little miracle prince in November last year.As hard as it is you have to remember some people don’t even know their pregnant and still carry on as normal. I had a week off for egg removal 🤩 good luck ❤️
Congratulations 💕. Its hard not to stress over every little thing isn't it which is frustrating because most people don't even know they are pregnant for weeks 😂😂. Thank you for your advice 😊
I was exactly the same as you, I have a busy job in a care home, on your feet 12 hour shifts, so I did take leave for the 2 weeks, I also felt a little anxious about going back once I'd got my positive test, but thankfully I did go back after the 2 week and everything was fine, I now have a beautiful 10 week old girl, everyone is different and I guess it really does go on what kind of work you do, just trust your instincts and I'm sure everything will be fine, wishing you all the luck in the world xx
Hi JadeH92, I am currently 4dp 5dt. This is my first transfer. I have had the week off work but have been going mad with overthinking & realised I wish I was actually at work for the distraction. I will be back at work on Monday and hoping the days will fly by quicker due to being busy. I have desk job though so I understand if you felt the need to take a few days off from more physical work.Like others have said, I don’t think being at work or being off makes as much difference as we think and you should do what feels right for you x
I didnt take even 1 day off after transfer and was working 10h/day and all went well.now I have almost 1 year old twins
Most of women fell pregnant naturally and they have a normal life until they have some symptoms and then test themselves so after transfer we should do the same,in my humble opinion
Congratulations 💕💕. Yeah I agree it's just hard not to try and over analyse every little thing in this whole process isn't it. Thank you for replying 😊
I am a school teacher.With my first transfer it was holidays but still it didn't work.
Second transfer I was working at school and it worked and I have a toddler now (but you being a nurse I thinj it's more demanding)
Third fourth and fifth transfers all faild and I was a stay at home mom
6th transfer worked (still a stay at home mom) but I was running after my 13kg toddler, lifting her up and bending to do all sort of things like putting on her shoes and it worked and I am currently pregnant
Point is I think if it's a good embryo it will implant no matter what, like in real life with regular people getting pregnant they find themselves pregnant while doing all sorts of jobs
If you think you need to take time off go for it!
But honestly I don't think it would effect the outcome, hopefully you getting pregnant!
Sorry to hear you had so many failed transfers but Congratulations on your little one and current pregnancy 🥰. Yeah I agree like I have said in another comment and others have said as well, really when it all boils down to it within reason we don't have any control over the success of it. So I think having a few days off will do me good mentally but I think going back will also be beneficial for me in keeping busy and hopefully reducing my anxiety for if it is successful and working throughout the pregnancy. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage early after finding out it was successful last time with no warning so I already know my anxiety even after a positive test will be high because of my past experience. Thank you for sharing your experiences 💕💕
You know I really great full it actually worked out for me even after undergoing 4 fresh cycles and 6 transfers I know a lot of people go through much more.I am so sorry you had to go through a miscarriage I can't even comprehend how horrible it felt.
I hope this time you will have a great healthy pregnancy and baby!!
Personally I always preferred to work and stay busy. However, you should know that legally you are counted as pregnant from transfer and for the next two weeks even if you don’t get a BFP so if you get signed off by the doctor it would be counted as pregnancy leave and can’t be counted against your normal sick leave entitlement. It’s a very personal choice.
Thank you that is reassuring as well because I unfortunately have had a few episodes of sickness due to my Endometriosis so that will ease my anxiety if for whatever reason I may need time off. Thanks for taking the time to reply 🥰
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I still worried that I had messed everything up all the time - e.g., I had a bit of a breakdown when I read you weren't meant to have licorice during pregnancy and realized the 'healthy' herbal teas I'd been having contained licorice. Once I calmed down and got some perspective I saw that the studies were based on women who'd basically consumed their weight in pure licorice on a daily basis and that a little extract in tea wasn't going to be catastrophic. Same for warm baths (was that one too hot?), lifting things (was that heavier than a watermelon?), decorating (is natural odourless chalk paint less toxic than a cheapie quick drying one coat ?)... but I think it's understandable after what we've gone through x
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