Just need support from people who understand 😊🙏

[TeddyBear5]

I am 43 - I’m healthy but fairly (very) overweight.

I did a cycle in Dec which ended in a chemical.

I want to do a FET in April with my last embryo.

To help I am throwing everything at it - trying to lose weight, seeing an exercise physiologist, nutritionist and a counsellor to get me feeling good both physically and mentally. I’ve had a blood test to check everything- cholesterol yadi yada and all fine.

I can’t help feeling like I’ve missed the boat and I wish I’d done all this a couple of years ago or more. There are reasons why - work, depression, covid, losing a baby etc etc but still. The nutritionist I saw was great but we were talking about eating oily fish for fertility- he laughed and said I should have started eating 3 servings a week 8 years ago. It was a throw away comment for him but now I feel stupid for not eating enough fish! Ffs!

I don’t know really why I’m writing, I feel like getting pregnant is luck of the draw and unsure anything we do really helps. It just is. I feel a bit fat and old and silly and wish my fertility specialist had given more advice a few years ago. I feel like we have to fight & pay for it all . She’s great but unsure she really believes in much to help given my eggs are now 43! I took ubiquinol for ages up until my cycle in Dec so at least I did something right!

So now as I eat my oily fish, inhale 3000 mgs of folic acid and the other supplements I’ve been recommended, I hope some of it helps the embryo stick and me stay pregnant.

I hate this stupid fertility journey!!!

[Hidden]

I'm new to this IVF journey but I am quickly learning it is about venting when you need to vent, cry when you need to cry and being patient and kind to yourself. We can be our own worst haters at times! I know it is easy for me to say so early on but try not be so hard on yourself... should of, would of, could of 8 years ago - the past is still set in stone, you can only look and change the future. My BMI was 36.8 when I started, I got it down to 35.1. I am trying to realistic myself, I am making health choices instead of my usual breads and crisps - I am eating a banana etc, and it is helping I don't feel like I am on one of those fad diets (which I always fell back on) anymore, it's just a healthier life! It's great you now have a nutritionist etc, you have got this!!!🥰

I'm rooting for you, sending you lots of hugs, luck and positive vibes.

p.s I'm not a fan of this journey myself! 😃

[Angie_uk]

hey I’m new to this journey like you. I just turned 43yrs and totally understand you! I did my first cycle in October and we got 1 egg but PGTA said it wasn’t viable to transfer. I had two miscarriages from natural pregnancies (39yrs and 41yrs). I only started looking at fertility nutrition after my 2nd miscarriage so basically at 42yrs. I feel stupid. I put on loads of weight since my miscarriages and due to metabolism changes with age I think I was on the upward trajectory of weight gain anyway.

I’m sorry the nutritionist made a throw away comment I personally think of you are paying them to help you then it’s ok to tell them comments like that don’t help motivate you and u find it hurtful as want to focus on the present.

I’ve made quite a bit of changes but it takes time for your body to adjust and you see the benefits.

I might not have lost weight as only started exercising in November but I feel good in knowing no matter when I started making healthy changes that atleast I am making them.

I hope that helps and you keep going. You never know how quickly your body can respond so don’t give up hope yet.

[TeddyBear5]

thanks guys I appreciate you commenting ❤️ nervous wreck agree - can only look forward.

I am lucky, I have a 7 yr old from a cycle in 2015 - I just wish Id got on with it after that rather than waiting - there were reasons of course, I guess when you are younger it never feels so hard or like you will be too old!

angie I’m sorry pgta wasn’t viable - I only had 2 embryos and decided not to test in Dec. I am hoping I have one good one 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 it’s such a rough journey.

good on both of you for doing so well - I’m feeling more motivated xx

[Hidden in reply to TeddyBear5]

you’ve got this ❤️

[konyaga]

Hi another 43 year old here, never been pregnant even chemical. I have a low BMI but clearly I haven't been doing it right over the course of 7 years of TTC -I feel exactly the same about not having been eating enough fish, just started two fish a week alongside guzzling all the pills in January.

Have you heard about endometrial scratch?

It is said to trigger a mechanism that rejuvenates the womb lining and makes it more receptive to an embryo implanting after a minor injury is made to the uterine lining during an exam using hystroscopy.

The doctor in Greece I'm talking to has suggested this optional procedure.

We are still undecided, the approach may totally depend on the doctor you're seeing but it may be worth reading up on it!

[Skittles11]

Just regarding the throw away comments. Just remember that there are so many vegans and vegetarians who will be going through fertility treatment and who won't be eating fish at all. It is a great food to have for overall health and yes there are fertility benefits but equally if there was one diet for everyone going through fertility we'd all get prescribed it through our clinics.

I really dislike oily fish so the best i can do with it is once a week!

Wishing you tons of luck, it looks like you're doing a lot of stuff to help so give yourself credit for that xx

[Bed12]

hi TeddyBear5, just wanted to respond RE throwaway comments like the oily fish one. Our bodies rejuvenate and adapt very quickly. I find NHS nutritionists still follow very traditional/old science and there is lots of new research on our bodies and diet. My brother has a serious autoimmune disease which has led to two liver transplants. He did a no salt and no sugar specially formulated plan with exercise for three months and lost loads of weight and could stop taking blood pressure medicines. I know it’s not fertility but just sharing to illustrate how amazing our bodies. Whatever healthy habits you want to start, just do it and don’t worry about the past or comments. Take care x