treatment and relationship - couples therapy?

[honeybeanbee]

Hi everyone,

my partner and I have been together for 6 years and we plan to have a cheeky small wedding in February ☺️

Generally our relationship is great and he’s so kind but after a difficult pregnancy in 2021 where I really suffered with my mental health, then miscarriage and a mental health breakdown (all off the back of the pandemic) our relationship is struggling a bit. I’m finding the fact we need treatment really hard as he’s fine and it’s just me who needs help.

I used to become anxious easily but after some great therapy I’m managing really well. He seems to think I’m still anxious ‘all the time’ and isn’t managing to let it go that I’m generally doing well. I think the treatment starting is causing us stress - topped off with a protracted house move and time living at my parents.

Sorry for the background but basically I’m wondering if anyone has tried couples therapy whilst undergoing treatment, would recommend it or would suggest anything else we can do to stay kind to each other during this challenge? I think the holidays have made it slightly worse as even though we had a great few days, it’s quite intense!

Lots of love and positivity to you for this time and 2023! Xxx

[Minniemouse88]

Hi Honeybeanbee,

Sorry to hear of your very difficult year in 2021. It sounds as though you have worked hard on your own recovery, which is no easy feat in itself. A house move, wedding, Christmas and IVF all together must be very stressful

Although slightly different, my now husband and I had some virtual couples counseling before our wedding (before we even knew of our infertility problems) We weren't in a bad place at all, but I felt my anxiety was not something he could understand and I felt guilty a lot of the time for assurance seeking.

Generally, I would say it did help us learn about each others' coping styles. In turn, I would say we are a bit better at supporting each other but it's always a work in progress.

We've taken up the opportunity our clinic offers for some specific fertility counselling sessions. Even though I haven't noticed much benefit from doing so, it has helped me feel as though we are being proactive.

I hope that helps a bit. If you're anything like me, you probably need permission to be a bit easier on yourself. Take good care and best wishes x