When to give up?

[AnnieAnnie]

I suppose this is a hard one and something I've thought about often. How do I continue to go through this heartache, the pain - mentally and physically and the financial burden of this endless and fruitless journey. I put so much hope into this last transfer. A donor egg from my sister (who can become pregnant at the drop of a hat) that turned into a beautiful top quality embryo. Everything was perfect this cycle even my lining and my progesterone. My consultant said, it was probably abnormal and yet I compare that if it were my sister, she probably would have fell pregnant with this embryo (she came off the pill and fell pregnant in the first month with both her children in the last 2 years) . This Decemebr marks 11 years of never actually having had a bfp since we started ttc. Not even the faintest of lines on a hpt - the fact that I've even never had a miscarriage, maybe I physically just can't and will never ever get pregnant.

So my question is, should I really continue on this journey?

[Sweethear]

am sorry for all you are going through. I will say if your sister can still help you with egg you should keep going have you done any test to find out why the Embrayo is not implanting? Sending you lots of love and hugs

[AnnieAnnie in reply to Sweethear]

Thank you. I do have 3 frozen embryos left from my sister (but they decline I quality). My fear is, if I cannot physically fall pregnant what is the point in transferring. If it didn't work when everything was perfect and with a top quality embryo what's the point in wasting the rest and putting myself through this all again.

I've had a lot of tests to Inc. hysteroscopy, NkCells at Coventry, C4m2 positive, hsgs, laparoscopy. Although I had a very high titer in 2021, I tested negative for the lupus antibody.

I am thinking ERA with EMMA and ALICE or immunology testing. Although I have been on keto/low carb for over a year losing 20kg and maintaining on a low carb which should help with inflammation.

[Sweethear in reply to AnnieAnnie]

I see you have been through a lot please don’t give up ivf is a tough road and a game of luck sometimes you never know which Embrayo is going to work best quality or not no one can tell my only child is not from the best Embrayo so please transfer the Embrayo and don’t give up hope you get your happy ending very soon you are a strong woman and you can do this ok

[Sair-88]

hi

If you can I would do the ERA/EMMA/ALICE testing

[Blueberry211]

Dear Annie, I feel the point of giving up as currently I feel I am there. I have transferred 5 euploid embryos in total and have no baby in my hands and need to go for another retrieval.I know its a different story but still I would advice to take a short break and breath ( i am also convincing myself to do so).

I read that you still have more embryos- I would give them a try if and when you are ready.

Have you had the consultant meeting after this cycle?

[Corchi]

I’m so sorry for all your pain and struggles. Have you ever done pgs testing?

[Chel91]

I'm really sorry you're going through this 💔 I'm in a similar position. I see you have endo, have you tried 3 months of endo suppression before your FET ( letrozole + prostap / lupron)? Would you consider seeing a Reproductive Immunologist? As endo and immune issues are sometimes related. I'm seeing one now and I feel that I'm in good hands. Sending love xx

[Solly-44]

Hi Annie,

I’m sorry you’re having such a shitty time of it. Knowing when to stop is a really difficult decision and one I really wrestled with myself after 2 back to back transfers ended in loses. We were in a similar position to you in that we had some embryos left on ice and ultimately decided to see it through to the end. It’s a rough ride but I know Id have struggled to be at peace with the situation if we hadn’t tried transferring those embryos. Personally I would carry on for now, but it’s such a personal decision and it takes such a huge toll in all the ways you’ve mentioned. I found counselling really helpful, not sure if that’s something you’ve had or considered. Sorry for such a waffly reply, wishing you luck whichever you decide xx

[hoping2021]

ERA/Emma Alice is the lowest hanging fruit here. Please consider this before transferring further embryos. Sorry for what you’ve been through but fingers crossed for you xx

[hoping2021]

I also echo counselling advice above - I only had a about 3 sessions but they made world of difference

[Hidden]

I am so sorry for all you have been through. Have you had a decent break from IVF at all? I found that was a real game changer and gave me time to find myself again, think about what I really wanted, remember what our life and relationship was like before TTC and just generally got me on a much better footing mentally. I paired this with some counselling from the NHS Talking Therapies service which really helped me work through the grief, anger, stress and resentment I was bottling up after years of TTC (not as long as you I appreciate). This was actually an enforced break due to the need for surgery but it gave me a much clearer perspective on life, what I wanted, and how much longer I could and was willing to go on trying for x