I cant see my future without a child!

Hi there. Im wondering if anyone is going through the same or similar... TTC but its not working with no reasons given yet, we are on the IVF list but will take another 2years...i honestly dont know how im going to keep going through this emotional rollercoaster... My fiancé is amazing, we have our wedding to look forward too... But here is my dilema... I was a childminder, a Nurse Auxiliary and a special needs support worker... Most of my life so far has been about giving and helping others iv dreamt of being a mother, having that piece of me on this earth part of me and my soon to be husband to love and care for... I dont know if my life is ever going to be ok OR MY MIND GET ANY CALM whilst i go through this journey... ANY ADVICE??? MANY THANKS X

[Kitca]

my only advice would be take every day at a time, dont be mad at yourself for feeling anyway you feel. I speak to a councillor every now and again and she helps put thoughts in boxes and stops me spiralling in to despair. The reality is at the moment you just dont know which is as rubbish as it is potentially hopeful. Its a bloody tough road its not fair but if you can find some kindness to yourself and enjoy the love you have with your husband then thats all you can do. All the luck xx

[Hidden in reply to Kitca]

Thank you so much for spending your time to send me a message that was absolutely beautiful. U hav me teary i feel so blessed that someone did speak back to me and your words were so supportive. Thank u so much. I hope u r doing ok too xo

[Kitca in reply to Hidden]

There are many wonderful women on this forum, we are her to give you that little crutch and im sure you will be someones crutch too. In the loneliest journey you arent so alone . Chin up xxx

[Eloquentia]

It is a hard journey, stay strong! One thing I wish I'd done when I started it a few years ago is read the book 'It all starts with an egg'. Highly recommend if you haven't come across it. Very best of luck to you and your future husband!

[Peonie100]

hi! There are lots of things you can try while you wait for ivf, you don’t have to keep ttc naturally for the whole 2 years.

If you can afford to go privately while you wait, you can investigate the causes or try iui. You can ask your gp to check that your tubes are clear, and ask a private clinic for the EMMA and ALICE tests to rule out infection.

2 years is a long time to wait, but there’s lots you can do in the meantime - unfortunately some of it is costly.

Wish you all the best xx

[MagsGK]

Hi, im so sorry you have to go throuh it. This journey is not simple at all....💔

I cannot really give you any good stories, just want to tell you, you are not alone. Out TTC now reached 5 years. Have never managed to get pregnant naturaly even tho all tests are done and there is nothing wrong on papers, its down to my age i guess now. Done 5 IVF.... spent fortune and all my savings are now gone because i also cannot imagine my life without a child. Managed to get pregnant twice out of those 5 IVFs. First one ive lost it, week 12, empty sack. Now im pregant again, 5th week and going through hell as my positive line is not strong at all, progression is too small and im properly bleeding.

You are just before your first IVF so there is plenty of hope for you. I know it takes ages to go through NHS waiting list. It took us also 2 years. Wish you all the best xxx

[PrayingforMyBaby]

hi Hidden,

I fewl the same way...we are married for 4 ywars expecting to have a child however so many things happen while we our in the journey of my project. Im so bless with very supportive husband thats all that matters until we know i got fibroid😢..i got my fibroid remove last 2021 end of october. I thought after that we can have a baby...after 3 months we went to our Doctor..im so lucky to have a very supportive doctor so ww try clomid first and i realky produce 5 eggs, we have clomid for 3 months😭😥 no luck..then we decided to do ivf this year. Im so thanksful that my husband is really hands on, doing research and everything..he reads more than I do.. then all the process and jourbey of ivf...i thought after my 1st egg transfer all is well..but it so heart broken my embreyo did not implant...then

[Boo718]

I totally understand how you feel. Myself and hubby have been together 13 years married for 8 not one natural pregnancy. It is sooo difficult but I swear it does get easier. I went to speak to a councillor a few years ago to just let it allll out and it did me the world of good. I don’t know how our life looks going forward I’ve always imagined children running about but we are now 5 years in to ivf and on our 5th transfer. No one knows what the future holds but I do know that we will come through this together. Stronger than ever. Sending so much love and hugs xxx

[blue_anemone]

I don’t have any advice, but I just wanted to say that I hear you… 😔💔 Been trying for two years now, and I’ve recently finally learned that I’m actually hypothyroid (even though my labs are within the range) and I may or may not be ovulating at all. We haven’t done hubby’s labs yet, but I am scared that we will never have a baby… I don’t want to do ivf for personal reasons, so it pretty much comes down to we fix ourselves the best we can and pray and hope.

P.S The best book I’ve ever read is Taking charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler. Highly recommend.