Fertility Network UK
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27yr old and scared!!

Hello everyone! Im new to all this so alittle nervous/scared :/.. My husband and I have been trying for 5 half years for a baby and i finally went to the doctors this year. I was scared to years ago because i didnt want to know if something was wrong with me as im still young! Ive had all the test, bloods, ultrasounds & HSG and i got the results today. I got told that i have PCOS and blocked tube. I tried my hardest to keep it together but the tears just came out when the doctor talked about IVF. I was thinking I shouldn’t be going through this at my age (27) im healthy, dont smoke or drink as im Epileptic. I find it hard watching my friends and my sister having kids and seeing the love etc breaks my heart!! My sister is pregnant at the moment and im putting on a brave face through her pregnancy but inside im wishing i was in her shoes :(.. im scared to go through IVF, i dont know what to expect or how im going to feel. Im not the one to share my feelings or express emotions like this as ive had to be strong growing up but i need some sort of support right now because to be honest im sooo scared!! & in shock!!.. my mom passed away 2012 so i dont have her to cry too or hold my hand.. advice or anything is appreciated.. Thankyou for reading :)

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Hey Danismithy... welcome to the forum. Here you’ll find lots of ladies who remember like it was yesterday that sinking earth shattering moment in the hospital that you found out IVF was your only route. Everyone’s story will be different. For me? It was like white noise accompanied with that awful painful lump in my throat trying not to cry. It’s one of my most vivid memories of my life.

No drinking or smoking and healthy and young! All those great components together will hopefully make the process a little easier for you.

There are some great books you can get to read and you’ll get tonnes of advice from hospital.

IVF is just another way of bringing your miracle to this world. Being scared is all part of it. Third time in and I’m still scared.

Let the shock settle in and do something nice together where you can chat about the process and how feel. Sending you lots of love x

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Thankyou so much for your reply! Im glad im not alone & can talk about it with people that understand what its like. Im sick of hearing “oh will happen when you dont expect it” i could absolutely lose my head!! But were all rocking the same boat so just be there to talk when we need itxx

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If one more person tells me... it’ll happen if you stop thinking about it... I swear I’ll scream. My inner self has sometimes found its way out of my mouth a sharply told them... “well yes perhaps I’m thinking too hard about having no eggs and the ones I have are sh*t!” x

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Say it to them!! Double dare you! 😜😘

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It’s slipped out a few times already I can tell you! x

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Well done you, very proud 👍😘

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Oh dear! Lol bet they felt right bad after hearing that x

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Well it made them quiet!

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Maybe it will make them think twice before asking that to someone else, it really is no ones business but your own!! And who you choose to tell is your choice 😘😘❤️❤️

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Hi Danismithy. Just wanted to say that you are not alone and that we are all here if you need us. I am 29 and found out we needed to go IVF around a year and a half ago. It hit me like a tonne of bricks but we have just had our first IVF cycle and so far it has worked but very early days. Xx

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Hey! Aww that’s brilliant news, congratulations! I really hope everything goes ok! Can i ask why you couldn’t conceive naturally? Xx

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It was due to my husbands low sperm mobility ie not enough energetic and straight swimmers. Due to this we had ICSI where they select one sperm and inject into into the egg. However I have read many positive outcomes on here from other ladies who have had the same as yourself x

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Oh ok, im going to have a good read tonight when I finish work & gym x

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I can relate to how you're feeling. I'd been trying for years and considered myself to be healthy so just couldn't understand why it wasn't happening. I found it hard to accept that I needed to try ivf and I was in my 20s. Tv and magazines all led me to think that ivf was something only older women have to face. But then when I talked to my partner we both agreed that it was better to try now, while I'm younger and my eggs are healthier than to leave it until later on.

It's a difficult process but we found it brought us together and so it wasn't that hard afterall. And I'm pleased to say I eventually got pregnant.

I think my advice would be to try and distance yourself from the idea youre young and it feels strange to have to be going through all this and focus on the fact that your youth and good health put you on a good position.

Good luck!

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Hey, yeah i had this same thought process!.. aww congratulations & im so happy for you! All the best and thankyou

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Welcome to the forum. When I found out at 26 that we would need to go through IVF it was a massive shock. I am also terrified of anything that might involve needles or operations etc. Our fertility lady let us have a couple of months to get our head around it and then went back to be referred on for IVF. All I have is PCOS but I was still ovulating so no reason as to why it wasn’t working.

We went through our first cycle that year and got a BFP but miscarried and then had another cycle and got BFP and now 35 weeks pregnant.

All I can say is it’s not as bad as it seems. I heard horror stories about how awful it is and of course some people do have a bad time of it with side effects etc but for me being as much of a wuss as I am it was nothing like I expected and I’m so proud of myself that I managed to do it and I’m where I am now because seeing other people pregnant and getting asked “the question” at work all the time was getting me so down.

You can do this!! Xx

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Awww congratulations!! That’s brilliant!! I mean that.. yeah the thought of operations etc scared me, im also sick of doctors etc poking me & looking at me🙄 but be worth it in the end if all goes ok! Im going to think postive xx

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Yeah I know what you mean. It’s definitely worth all the poking and prodding. It is veg daunting but then you just go with the flow xx

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Hi lovely, i'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a difficult time. I completely understand how you're feeling and you're not alone, this forum has provided me with so much support. I too am relatively new to this. I had lots of investigations between October and November and was told I have low progesterone (suboptimal ovulation) and my HSG showed no spillage on my right side. They put this down to spasm rather then a blockage but can't be 100% sure without sugery and so was advised to push on with treatment so not to delay things. Hubby and I told our options are Clomid and if this fails then only other option is IVF. This has been a real shock to digest and i'm still struggling with the news that something is wrong. Like you, i'm healthy as is husband (non smoker, non drinker, healthy BMI etc). We asked the Consultant what else we can do to help ourselves and she actually said nothing as we're doing all we can. I found things harder to process because of this. Literally emotions up and down one day to the next (tears, anger, sadness etc). Family and friends are having babies one after the other it seems and work has been especially difficult as I am the only childless member of the team. The other day i was sat in the office at work after a long day where there was constant talk of babies and newborns and it got too much, I could feel the tears plop down my face so had to hide for a good 10 mins whilst I composed myself. Clomid has so far been unsuccessful as I overstimulated and so I am feeling that we are moving one step closer to IVF. I start counselling today with hubby. I do hope you are doing okay and i'm here to talk if you need to offload, it's a cruel journey sometimes and to have support from others who truly understand the emotional rollercoaster we go through has helped me massively. My inbox is always open if you need a chat. Sending love and BIG hugs xxx

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Arr i feel your pain!😪 you do question “why is this happening to me?!?” Yeah im glad i found this forum cz i feel so alone anymore cz i dont know anyone who has been through this! Nice to support each other.. i really hope it all works out for you, keep intouch😊xx

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Likewise lovely, take care and keep in touch. I do hope things get easier for you xxx

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Hey, welcome to the forum! I can totally relate to your story - I’m 27 to and been ttc for 5 years. I originally went for tests at 22 but was fobbed off cause I was ‘so young’ but finally began this journey at 24 and remember thinking how unfair is it when I never smoked or drank how could this be happening. I still can feel very bitter over peoples pregnancies as happy as I am for them the heartache for me never goes, so never feel alone with that.

I think with IVF it’s the unknown that makes its scary, I didn’t find this forum till after my 3rd cycle but everyone on here is so supportive and always open to answering questions. I would also say yes your young but don’t let that think you’ve got bundles of time, your in a healthy position at the moment which is the ideal time for trying. Always here if you want to talk xx

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Hey, yeah i was fobbed off at 22 from my GP as i was young. My peroids suddenly stopped for months & i thought ‘this is it, im pregnant” but no!.. least were on the road tho.. goodluck with everything & same goes to you xx

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Our diagnosis are similar, I also have PCOS and a blocked tube, along with a removed other tube and endometrisis. I felt exactly the same as you, was 25 when I was told IVF was the only way for us, all I could think was 'I'm 25! How can I have problems with fertility at 25!'. But I do, and I'm trying to stay positive at the moment and that this is just a more complicated way of achieving our dreams of a little family. Its so hard when it feels like the world and his wife are pregnant but you. I've recently turned 26 and will be starting our first cycle in March after I have been down regulated for 3 months. Keep thinking positive thoughts :)

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very true! Just alot complicated way.. all the best things in life a worth a wait ay! Goodluck & keep us updated ‘be nice to hear good news for once’ 🍀

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Hi Lovely I found out I needed ivf when I was 25 I couldn't believe it I was broken I fell pregnant 3 times naturally by my Husband I had 1 ectopic which led to me losing my tube and then I fell again and was so happy but I had a miscarriage at 6weeks then again i had another ectopic pregnancy I couldn't believe wot bad luck I had at the time ☹️again I lost my last and final tube my world was upside down from then on I have a high AMH of 43.9 so I am a High responder for the drugs I will have to have wen start so again I have PCOS but I had my first appointment yesterday and it went great we have been advised to have icsi as my Husband Morphology on SA wasn't how it should be but there not worried so that's our next step and we start in March on the short protocol so I'm excited/nervous on the outcome and I understand totally how you feel bout others being pregnant I have it all around me and so wish it was me and people all the time say to me you never no it could happen naturally if don't think about it (I have no tubes ) they also no this so it really gets to me I wish you all the luck in the world and ever wanna talk there is a lot of us ladies in same situation going down the same road just different reasons think positive it will all work out in the end that's wot I'm doing I'm 32 now xxx

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Oh i really hope you get what you wish for & it all falls into place for you! & you get the little bundle of joy.. wish you all the luck, keep us updated 😊xx

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i feel the same. I have been trying for about 6 years and we have properly started treatment the past year. Waiting to start ICSI hopefully this month. It is hard especially when you see everyone around you getting pregnant. Good Luck x

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Yeah thats really hard seeing pregnant woman or babys! I hope all goes well for you and good luck x

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Just wanted to reach out to say hello and say that I’m sorry you are experiencing these difficulties. I remember the day I realised that there were issues with both myself and my husband and that ICSI was a dead cert for us. I sat on the stairs for what seemed like forever, stunned at first and then crying like I’d never cried before. It’s life changing. I’m sorry you don’t have your mum to help you through this difficult time. Is there a close friend you could confide in? Some counselling might even help you to come to terms with this news.

Sending you lots of love xx

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Hey, im sorry also😕 not nice is it.. erm ican talk to my husband but then i dont wanr to upset him either and if im honest i feel like ive let him down. He doesnt think that & he said were get through this & nothing in life is easy for us but we always manage to get through it. I just think cz its raw, i just need to process it myself then talk to him. Thankyou for replying xx

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It’s definitely raw for you at the moment. Please don’t ever feel like you’re letting anyone down. I used to beat myself up about absolutely everything and try to figure out what past behaviour might have lead to my own fertility problems. We are way too hard on ourselves. Keep talking to your husband. You mention you’ve had tough times in the past which you’ve managed to get through. You will get through this too. Take good care of yourself xx

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Awww thankyou!😊 im a strong cookie really💪🏼Lol yeah think its time to think postive & i agree we are to hard on ourselves for sure xx

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💖

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Oh I’m so sorry, I too am epileptic, and lost my mum in ‘99 so I know this journey can be painful without her. I avoided tests as I didn’t want to know, and the words IVF were like something completely unreal, like someone else’s life! But you’re young and healthy and they know what’s wrong, all of this is a silver lining in the fertility world! The heartache is horrid, and I think everyone on here can understand what that feels like. Have you got a good support network? Have your clinic been good at explaining everything to you and your husband? Sending positivity to you lovely xxx

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Hey, Epilepsy alone is a struggle lol now this🙄.. well ive started working out & eating right just so i know ive done everything i can and i havnt seen a doctor at a clinic yet, was a gynaecologist i think in a womens care suite who arranged all my tests etc, she gave me leaflets but tbh ive found out more from reading everybodys stories on here! Ye my husband is supportive & my sisters and my nan and some close friends but havnt told then yet.. thankyou for your kind words xxx

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Hello danismithy. This forum is great and all the girls and guys on here are very supportive.

I am 28 years old and began my first fresh round last year was i was 27- we had been trying for a baby for ages and deep down I knew something wasn’t right. We both went to the doctors and found out my partner has very low sperm count and chances of us conceiving naturally were less than 5%. We went through a fresh and frozen round through the nhs where both failed. So we went privately and found out I have high NK cells- i had treatment for this and we went through another frozen cycle and now have a baby girl who is 10 months old. We are about to go through another fresh cycle to try for baby number 2.

I was the same age as you when I found out we would need IVF and I was the same as you. Had all the same emotions. It’s normal for you to feel this way - this forum is brilliant for any questions you may have or if you just need a pick me up.

Make sure you are open with your partner and talk about things rather than bottling it all up. IVF is an emotional rollercoaster but the end result makes up for it all and more.

Wish you luck with any upcoming cycles xxx

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Aww thats wonderful news! I love hearing storys when people have had trouble conceiving, makes you feel hope.. thankyou & all the best for baby number2🤞🏼Xx

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Welcome to the forum! I feel your pain, it's devastating to hear you need IVF. I couldn't stop crying when the doctor told me&my husband. However, on the plus side IVF is an amazing opportunity and whilst by no means an easy option or anyone's chosen route it is still a chance to be a parent. I hope this forum brings u lots of support on ur fertility journey 😘

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I felt the same way when we were told we would need IVF, and i was angry and scared and couldn’t believe it. Now that we are going into our second round, all I can say is that it takes time to process and deal with the news. You do have time in your side. Take the time and find the support you need. Take it one day at a time and soon you’ll see, you’ll be excited to start the process... sounds crazy but it’s true. Good luck xx

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Hi Danismithy! I hope reading the comments above has helped to relive some of your anxiety. I too knew something wasn’t right when I came off the contraceptive pill this time last year. I was diagnosed with pcos in May 17 and it hit me like a tonne of bricks I had no clue! Then to make things even harder to deal with my sister announced her pregnancy in August!...

There are options before IVF such as chlomid. Personally I didn’t respond to chlomid so we moved on to IVF in Oct 17. We have two fertilised embryos that we have frozen and now I am working on my lining - found out in Dec I have scarring in my uterus - yet another massive shock!

I just wanted to reassure your concerns. It’s common to be knocked down on the journey. But for every down there is an up. Give yourself time to come to terms with things as this is all brand new for you and is a lot to get your head around. But once you have absorbed your recent news and you have a plan ahead of you it is the most exciting time! I wish you all the best for the future and you will find a lot of support on here :) xxxx

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