Why is life so cruel

[Sjr1988]

So….. here’s my story…..

when I was 16 I had a stillborn little boy, the week before Christmas. I conceived naturally. I then had a boyfriend cheat on me and bring me home a nice present (sti) from Magaluf. I was then told a couple years later that said sti had made me infertile by blocking/scarring my tubes. So when I got married we started ivf and my first round I miscarried twins, second round didn’t work, I had ohss then had frozen transfer when I was better and then I was in a car accident 10mins from leaving the clinic after having embryo transfer. The third round I got my BFP! I bled from 5 weeks to 14wks and then ended up with preeclampsia and my little miracle boy was born at 31w2d and is now a healthy 3.5year old.

Then two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant NATURALLY! Yay I defied all odds and got pregnant! Then Friday I started bleeding and I thought “here we go again another bleeder for 9 weeks” but I went and got checked over with my history and they could see “something” in my womb but inconclusive and they moved over to my tube and I had an ectopic pregnancy, I then went on to have emergency surgery and my tube removed.

I guess I just needed to vent at how unbelievably hurt and let down I feel by the universe, giving me that ray of hope again!

I am very grateful that I’m fortunate enough to have one miracle boy but I just feel I’ve had the worst luck enough to last a lifetime and figured the only people who would understand are you guys on here.

[butterfliez]

I’m so sorry for everything you have been through , you have had so much suffering , my daughter was stillborn last year & I was 36 , I have found it extremely difficult to cope with so I can imagine you being just 16 it must have been awful to deal with , along side all the fertility struggles & losses after that , I am happy you have your miracle son after a difficult pregnancy & preeclampsia which is such an awful disease but I’m sure It doesn’t take away any of the pain you go through after loss & the struggles that you have continued to face. You’ve had such bad luck & life can seem just so cruel at times .

This is often a good source of support just to get it written down off your chest with others who may have some idea what you have faced.

Sending you strength take care 💜

[Sjr1988 in reply to butterfliez]

Thank you so much for your kind response. Like you say I just needed to get it written down and vent to people who may understand the struggles I’ve been through. I just feel so beaten down at the moment and a bit lost x

[butterfliez in reply to Sjr1988]

Yes your bound to feel like that ! It’s more than enough for one person to take in a lifetime! You take time to process your latest eptopic pregnancy loss & to recovery from the surgery , you must feel like there’s no fight left in you but you’ve faced so much & are still standing ! So be proud of yourself for that xx

[Sjr1988 in reply to butterfliez]

I forgot to say in my selfish pity…. Sorry for your loss also, stillbirth is an awful thing to go through at any age!

And I’m trying to stay strong but you’re right I don’t feel I have any fight left, I’m 34yrs old and have been through more than enough. I just need a break x

[Bomboncita]

Sending you hugs here 🤗

[Sjr1988 in reply to Bomboncita]

Thank you I appreciate it xx

[Wishing-and-hoping]

You’re absolutely right. It is brutally unfair that one person should have to suffer so much, and you have had so much more than your “fair” (if that concept exists) share.

BUT, to still be here, standing, breathing, and putting one foot in front of the other, makes you immensely strong. Even though you don’t feel it. Be so proud of yourself, be full of love, admiration & respect for yourself, & hold your head high!

Sending lots of love & hugs x x x

[Sjr1988 in reply to Wishing-and-hoping]

Thank you for your kind words xxx

[Zoey_k65]

I am so sorry to hear about your oldest little boy. Losing a child is devastating. My daughter was stillborn last year.

You have been through so much crap. It is totally unfair. I hope you have loving people around you. Sending you gentle hugs

I’ve found some useful social media accounts about baby loss if you’re interested.

Xx

[Sjr1988 in reply to Zoey_k65]

Sorry to hear that you lost your daughter, it really is a cruel world. Sending you virtual hugs xx

[FlowerGem115]

Sorry to hear you have been through a rough time. I suffered an ectopic myself 8 weeks ago, emergency surgery, tube out too. And whilst I know my body is healing it is the mental recovery that is the toughest as it does feel very unfair to have so many hurdles put in your way. Keep sharing how you are feeling as I found it helps as others around you likely have no idea what you are going through. Stay strong xx

[Sjr1988 in reply to FlowerGem115]

So sorry you’re going through this too! It’s such an awful thing to lose a child no matter what stage in pregnancy. I’ve been through the spectrum of pregnancy/baby loss and not one of them is easier than the other emotionally/physically/mentally. Sending you a virtual hug xx