Hi all, I'm new here and I don't usually post online but I've been feeling quite overwhelmed so thought some support from others in a similar situation might help!
We did our first round of IVF by ICSI in early 2020 and today we have a gorgeous 2 year old who is the absolute joy of both our lives.
We've been trying to give her a sibling since late 2021 and did FET twice so far (both failed) and one fresh round in January this year which we found out 2 days ago was also unsuccessful. So that's 3 rounds in a row that have now failed and I'm feeling totally disheartened and heart broken about it all. On the last fresh round I started bleeding 3 days before the pregnancy test and I thought at the time it probably wasn't a good sign especially when it got heavier and heavier, and it turned out it wasn't to be as the test was negative.
We are planning on doing another FET later in the year as we have 2 frozen embryos from the fresh cycle (neither are particularly great on the grading) but wondered if anyone on here is currently in a similar position or have been through something similar trying for baby number 2? Our clinic have a one embryo transfer policy so all our rounds have been with one so far.
We couldn't believe how lucky we were with number 1 but number 2 is feeling impossible, like it will never happen again for us! I read somewhere that if you've already had success through IVF you have a higher chance of being successful again but I'm not feeling that right now.
Thanks for reading this and wishing everyone currently going through IVF all the best of luck, it's a tough process and you're all superheros!! xxx
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You have done so well - and this is to wish you well in trying for another bundle of joy to be add to your family. You are trying your very to achieve your dream - hope all goes well with next treatment cycle
Hi JOJO, no experience trying for a 2nd yet but in terms of first I had a BFN first transfer and bled 4 days before OTD. My third transfer was successful with my now 10 month old and the quality of embryo was lower. So I'm hoping next transfer is positive for you x
Thanks Rain415, when you bled after the first BFN transfer did your clinic/ consultant change anything about your treatment? Was the bleeding due to low progesterone? I'm thinking whether I should try something different next time to prevent bleeding early again as it's never happened to me before on previous transfers. Thanks!
They didn't change anything, they didn't listen to my progesterone worries just said its a numbers game basically and it was more than likely the embroyo. This was nhs I don't know if a private clinic might be different x
I’m so sorry your recent round wasn’t a success, it’s always heartbreaking. We also have a little one born in 2020, he was from our 3rd transfer. We also struggled trying for a sibling. We transferred 5 embryos since having our son, 2 of which got positive tests but that we went on to lose. It’s been rough, and exhausting so I completely get where you’re coming from.
As you bled before test day, will your clinic be looking at your progesterone levels? I really hope you get lucky with your final embryos xx
Thank you Solly 44, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses and hope you're doing ok? Are you intending to try again for baby number 2. I have this internal debate constantly about when we ought to stop trying, after how many unsuccessful rounds. Wishing you all the best xxx
Thanks SianieShorts, did to you bleed on a fresh round? My clinic has told me more likely to happen on a fresh than a FET. It was still very upsetting nonetheless. Hope you're ok and sorry to hear about your losses. Have you any plans to go for FET soon and have you thought about what you might do differently next time? My clinic is talking about additional medications and procedures but I'm not so sure (as it's all additional cost but little proof it makes a difference). Thanks and all the best on your journey to number 2 too xxx
The bleed did happen on a fresh round, yes. My clinic take progesterone levels on the morning of a frozen transfer but not for a fresh round.
We are about to start another round for a FET in the next couple of weeks. The only changes are that it will be a modified natural cycle rather than fully medicated but I think this is more to do with low availability of Buseralin.(see my last post).
They have also recommended that I might like to do a double transfer to increase my chances.
hello, just to say that I'm also trying for number 2 and it's tough!! I am currently on my 2ww.
For my successful round for my little boy (third transfer) I had a scratch and lubion and that stopped any early bleeding. I took low dose aspirin too and I really feel that helped.
This time round I have taken antibiotics (very cheap) and used viagra for my lining.
I do believe it's a numbers game but I also think that doing anything different each time can make you feel more positive and in control of an otherwise out of control experience!!
Thanks Pebbles345, all the best of luck while you wait for the result! Was the aspirin, antibiotics and Viagra all recommended by your clinic/ consultant as I have to admit i didn't know they were options to consider! I didn't take anything extra for my first, just the standard protocol but now with so many fails under my belt, I would be open to looking at whatever might help.
Yes they were all recommendations from the clinic. I think the viagra is very specific for thin lining issues but the antibiotics and aspirin are more regular . It's definitely worth asking your doctor as it might help you and os unlikely to harm. I just feel each time I try something new, there is a glimmer of hope again!
I’m with you! Currently trying for a sibling for our 21 month little boy! It took us 6IUI and 3 transfers (from one egg collection) to have him so we started trying 5 months after we had him. 7 embryos and 2 more egg collections later and still no luck! I think it’s feeling harder this time as we’ve seen it work before so it’s extra crushing/frustrating/worrying that it hasn’t happened yet and the extra pressure of providing our gorgeous little guy with a sibling rather than it just being for us this time. Wishing you lots of luck for your frozen embryos! Ps I’ve had a few double transfers and it hasn’t made any difference but taking lubion as well as progesterone pessaries has helped the bleeding before test day xx
Thanks Twiglet2, I agree with you, it's hard to take all the fails as we know and we have seen it works! It just makes our first so much more of a little miracle when we look at where we are now. We are doing it as much for her as we are for us this time. I'm sorry to hear your story and wishing you all the best of luck on your journey also xxx
From my experience i think when you have had success with a wee one i kind of assumed it would be more than likely to work when we tried again. I was quickly reminded that ivf is literally a game of luck after our fresh round wasn't successful. Our frozen round after work and currnetly 14 weeks but everything is a guessing game i think! Also just so thankful for the science of medicine as without it wouldn't have our wee one! Really hope your next round works, it is so draining...emotionally/financially/practically trying to juggle appointments etc! X
hi I m so sorry to hear you are going through this
I can totally understand your situation and can relate to it as we have a 4 year old from our 2nd fresh cycle in 2018 she’s our bundle of joy our miracle baby after 15 years of trying But ever since she started to talk she’s been asking for sibling so we decided to try again last year I found the whole process lot harder and stressful than first time we had 2 highest grade embryos transferred in November I did get positive but ended up chemical pregnancy which was heart breaking I only waited one full cycle and went for it again early January we had few frozen embryos this time so we decided to transfer all as I only had one decent quality and it’s our last attempt I m turning 40 this year and also we have been having Ivf aboard so can’t keep going with ivf again and again currently I m 6weeks but I started to bleed heavy out of no where 2 days ago now I m waiting for my scan on Friday to see if it’s viable pregnancy or not I m terrified and preparing myself for worst my clinic didn’t change anything after my chemical and carried on with same protocol my advice wud b don’t take too long between a failed cycle to try again as time is never on our side it’s all about that one perfect embryo to give us our next bundle of joy baby dust to all of us xx
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had so much disappointment 😔 I don’t have experience in having two IVF babies, but I do have experience in waiting a long time for a second child. We were really lucky that our living daughter was conceived naturally (and fairly quickly). We really wanted a sibling for her and managed to conceive our second daughter when she was about 2 years old. Unfortunately my waters broke early and she was stillborn due to prematurity. That was in 2020 and we still haven’t been able to give our living daughter a sibling. We tried naturally for 18 months then self-funded IVF. We have had two transfers (one fresh, one frozen). Both were BFPs but both losses (7 weeks and 10 weeks). We only had the two embryos so have had to save up for another fresh cycle - hopefully starting this month 🤞 So yes - nearly 3 years trying to give our living daughter a sibling. It feels like forever. We really wanted a 2-3 year age gap but now it will be 5+ years minimum. It’s totally consumed our lives for the past 3 years. 😔 I feel so grateful to have our living daughter and sometimes feel we should just stop trying. But I hated being an only child, and really don’t want that for her (especially as she is so desperate for a sister after losing our second daughter). Sending empathy and hugs your way xx
I had to do ivf for my second child(ren). By egg collection 5 I insisted on double transfers as we were running low on money (had spent nearly £40k by this point) and I also said I wanted to work backwards in quality so poorest first Saving the highest grade to last - clinic thought I was bonkers but said at end of the day it’s me paying the bills so agreed.
My two lowest graded….including a day 6 ended up becoming my twins (my top AA are still frozen but wont be used - marriage broke down….ironically due to having twins 😂)
Anyway my point is that lowest grade doesn’t mean lowest chance - oh and push for double transfers
it’s soooooooo hard….. two egg collections and 3 transfers gave us our gorgeous boy (now 3yrs old) - since then we’ve had 2 egg collections and 6 transfers trying for a sibling…. One chemical and all the others BFN.
Just had our 5th - and last - egg collection. Not transferred yet. It’s heart breaking. I’m so desperate for my little boy to have a sibling….
yes totally understand. Currently on second attempt for a sibling for my wee girl (she was born after 2 fresh, 2 frozen transfers, one of which ended in a missed miscarriage). My last cycle ended up with only one embryo and a failed fresh transfer so I’ve opted for a freeze all (if we have any embryos) from this cycle then will do a FET. I’ve found it really hard hoping for a second but am in a bit more of a positive headspace this cycle. Just started stims and hoping for egg collection in a few weeks x
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Second ivf cycle and age 43 
Hi guys - am new here - my IVF journey so far...
Really finding it hard after failed IVF 
