Lost and angry with my clinic!

[Beechnut1]

Hello you lovely lot I really really need to vent to ears that will understand.

I am very very lucky and have a beautiful boy who is nearly 3. He was my 4th transfer.

We need IVF for an number of reasons; male factor, low AMH ( for my age) and I have weird anatomy. My left kidney is in my pelvis and my left ovary is in my abdomen with no Fallopian tube. I have always needed abdominal egg collections.

I have always stayed with the same clinic and consultant, basically because he was the only one local (ish)to me willing to take me on and retrieve abdominally. A lot of clinics will just not do it.

With my son although it took 4 transfers everything went smoothly in terms of response, collection, fertilisation etc I always had low numbers 4 eggs approx but always good quality.

Since having my son I have had a FET which was a BFN. We started from scratch at the beginning of the year and followed the same protocol as my son, long and max dose stimms. I had a similar response to stimms but they couldn’t get any eggs at collection, my normal ovary had empty follicles and they couldn’t access my abdominal ovary and after 3 (extremely painful) attempts, he stopped as in his words he ‘lost his nerve’.

So fast forward to now I’m on a short protocol with lower dose stimms. I went for a scan yesterday (day 8) and I haven’t responded yet, however they are ok with that as it’s still early. The huge problem is the consultant who does my egg collections isn’t in next week and I’m furious. I know he’s allowed time off however if anyone had just picked up notes they would have seen the dates and should have delayed me until the consultant is available.

They’ve left me with the option of proceeding with a dr who doesn’t know me or my anatomy or cancel the cycle. I just don’t think they understand that I can’t just have paid nearly 2 thousand on meds for nothing, I’ve already paid for a cycle with no eggs collected. We need that money for future treatment, it’s already nearly impossible to save money 😭 they have offered a discount on the meds if I cancel, however I feel they should do more and front the whole cost as it’s not my fault they didn’t check my case and their diary properly!!!

What would you do faced with this situation? Cancel or go with the unknown consultant. You need know he might be more skilled 😂

Honestly this journey has a twist at every turn, nothing is simple. I know I’m so lucky to be able to snuggle my boy after a rubbish time at the clinic. However my desire to have another baby is so strong and this journey is testing my resilience to the max.

Damn you infertility!!!!

End rant.

Thanks for listening.

Love to you all you warriors ❤️❤️❤️

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Beechnut. Oh dear, I can fully understand your rant and frustrations. All I can suggest is that you speak to the clinic manager or PALS if it is an NHS clinic. Hope you get some answers soon. Diane

[Candlewax3]

Can you have a meeting with the new consultant and assess how they feel about taking you on. I would be tempted to go with the new consultant as you are already part way through the process.But I totally get you on the rubbish way some clinics work, I’m doing round 5 at the moment & I have lost all faith in mine! 😩

[Beechnut1 in reply to Candlewax3]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I’m definitely tempted to continue as I’m emotionally invested now and you just never know the new consultant may be more skilled! So sorry your on round 5, it’s so hard, how far into your cycle are you? Everything crossed for you ❤️❤️❤️

[Daffodils140]

I’m so sorry that you are having all this additional stress on top of the normal stress of an ivf cycle.

Only you can decide, but I think I would go ahead and let the other consultant go ahead but I would want to speak to them first to talk through the situation. Hopefully that would put you more at ease leading up to egg collection.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do xx

[Beechnut1]

Thank you! Yes I’m tempted to continue as long as he’s had some experience 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

[FertileMind]

Hi Beechnut1, so hard to know… I can only think of what I could do in your situation, but no one can give you advice - you have to go with your gut feeling and trust it.

Sometimes the universe brings along what’s best for us, I would go with the flow. You’ve invested love, time and money into this cycle, proceed in faith. There’s no way of knowing if your previous doctor will bottle it, or if there are even eggs like last time… he lost his nerve last time, so perhaps he timed his holiday to not do your collection on purpose as he’s afraid to let you down? I would want someone confident and willing with a steady hand. Proceed in love, not fear, as Anita Moorjani would say. Best of luck with whatever you decide ❤️