I find this place more therapeutic than talking with a psychologist or family...maybe it's the fact that I can express myself in an environment, where I know I am going to be understood, or maybe it is because I don't see your faces of pity or lack of understanding what I am feeling....
It's been a bit of a nightmare....I want to think that if I get pregnant I would manage the stress or bad news differently.
At the beginning I couldn't believe my luck...pregnant on the first try!!! I felt over the moon...it was pure instinct I knew it and I knew it was a girl.
On the fifth week I start bleeding, until around week 12. So I was having to keep going to A&E because of the hemorrhage, and the on week 12 they tell me that I was having high risk of preeclamsia, only 1 artery in the umbilical cord and high risk of down syndrome. They did a DNA test and 10 days later it came back negative for down syndrome.
In the week 14 I was talking with my family doctor and I mention that I bleed again, but not a lot, and she told me to go to the hospital again.
It was then that they told me there was no amniotic fluid....after that it was a nightmare.... I was told that it was almost impossible to survive without the fluid, malformations, infections that can lead to my death.... we decided to give it some time to see if it recover the fluid, we looked for other opinions, but all said the same.
In the middle of all of this I get covid, and after 3 weeks of waiting nothing improved. So you can imaging how terrible it is to go and say that you want to terminate the pregnancy....it broke my heart.
Right now I just want to recover soon and to be in a healthy condition to try again. Has anyone being through anything like this? Anyone knows any successful story?
Thanks and sorry for the length.
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MammaMia86
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I'm so sorry for all the loss and trauma that you've had to go through 💔💔 we're all here for you as much as we can be. Words can't even do it justice what you've been through.
I was talking with a counsellor before the decision, and I have another appointment with her this week. I do appreciate the fact that the doctor connect me with this person and she is so supportive
Hi there. I am so so sorry you have had to go through this. Although my circumstances were different, I also had to make the heartbreaking "decision" to terminate a much wanted pregnancy for medical reasons in November last year. After 4 rounds of IVF, it was the most devastating experience of my lifetime so I completely understand and empathise with what you're feeling. I'm not sure how recent all of this is for you, but please be patient with yourself. It can be a lonely time. It takes time to start to heal. I found the TFMR Mamas group a huge support to me tfmrmamas.com/ Emma Belle who runs the group is so lovely and supportive to all who have been through this.
You asked if anyone had had a success story. I have not got a story to share at this point however I have started a new cycle of IVF treatment. It is quite scary to put yourself in the vulnerable position of trying again after such a loss but for me it is necessary. However I also needed to have time after the experience to feel able to continue and this time is different for each person so take your time.
You're welcome to private message me if it would be helpful xx
When I read your comment and I saw that you highlighted "decision" it's exactly how I feel... I had to sign a "voluntary" termination form.... and I hate it....I had to control myself to don't make a scene but it is not voluntary! Basically they are telling me that I can die in 2 hours if something goes wrong, that they baby will never survive and they make me sign something that says that it's voluntary???.... anyway it's what it is.
I am so glad you have started....it is a fantastic news, I totally understand what you mean about needing time, so go to the speed that you feel comfortable.
I was told that I will need 2-3 periods for the uterus to recover, so I need to lose the weight I gain. During the treatment, with the pill and then all the hormones I gain 10 kg!!!!🤦♀️ and then some pregnancy weight....so I need to get back in shape.
I completely understand and I had to sign the form as well. This was not a choice. You had to make a "decision" because there was no other option for you. It is the most devastating and difficult "decision" to have to make, made with such heartbreak that there are not words which exist that are enough to capture it.
Yes, I had to wait 2 bleeds before starting again, I think they just need to ensure as you say that things can settle down and the uterus can recover. Just take things at your own pace. It is so important to be supported in this situation but it can be tough to find the right support which is why the support groups and instragram groups are so good as they're full of people that just get it. People on here too.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. This sounds incredibly traumatic and I hope you have lots of support around you right now. There's no words... Thinking of you xx
I’m so sorry to hear this 😢 my hearts breaking for you. I hope you are as ok as can be and take time to recover. This journey is soo hard and we are all here for you xxx
Oh no. I'm so so sorry, lovely. It's absolutely unfair that you should be going through all this heartbreak. We are here whenever you want to express how you're feeling and let it all out. Hopefully, you can also connect with people who've been through similar themselves. One of the most difficult things about going through a tragedy can be that loved ones can't really understand. Sending so much love xxxxxx
Hi love, I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words.
Something similar happened to me. When I started tapering down off progesterone at 11.5 weeks the problems started. I had bleeding at 12, 14 and 16 weeks. At 16+3 we lost our beautiful baby boy in October last year. There was more blood than I’d ever seen in my life and when we got to hospital, baby was still hanging on but he had no amniotic fluid left. I gave birth to him a couple of hours later.
I think of our baby and the trauma of what happened every single day. It is the worst possible thing to happen and nobody should have to go through it.
Please do take care of yourself and take your time to process and grieve what has happened. Ask question and find answers / make a plan for future care. I chose to go back to work quite quickly but in hindsight that might have been a bad decision but I needed something to think about.
What happened to you will absolutely change your life in so many ways. Me and my husband are stronger than ever, but we both have our scars. We’ve lost friendships. Whether that be people who haven’t really been there for us, or pregnant friends who it’s just too painful to speak to or see right now.
Are you having a funeral for baby? It was something I never knew existed and those impossible decisions you are asked to make in the early days are unbearable. Our bereavement midwife was really helpful in helping us organise. We did the nicest job we could for our baby, the only thing we could do for him. It’s truly heartbreaking.
There are lots of resources that have been a lifeline for me. The Sands forum is one, full of really supportive ladies who have suffered similar loss. It’s also worth signing up for counselling with child bereavement Uk. There is a waiting list, it took me about 10 weeks to get an appt. I’ve been doing private counselling every fortnight too. On Instagram follow @mainstreammiscarriage and @travelingwithgrief
I had a FET in February, I wasn’t 100% ready for it mentally, but I needed hope. It worked and I’m now 8 weeks pregnant. The anxiety associated with this pregnancy is off the chart. Just taking it one day at a time.
Thank you so much for your words!!! You have no idea how it means!!! I am planning to go back to work in 2 weeks, I need a bit of time to recover but I also want to go back and do something else.
I had to gave birth too, I don't know about your experience but I felt that they were behaving as a less important birth. The way I see it is that other women they have months to learn, to prepare, to understand...and in my case it was plan ahead and the only thing they said it's that they will give me some medicine and it will happen.
Thank you for the info about the counselling and the instagram.
I am so happy for you!!! It gives me lots of hope!!
I am so sorry for your loss and everything that you have been through. I cant offer any advice really but I hope you have lots of support from friends and family! Sending hugs.xxx
I’m so sorry for the loss of your child. 💔🥲To experience a loss so late I’m is unimaginable 🥲💔 I lost my daughter Amelia at 20 weeks pregnant in November 2020 - we never found out why she suddenly just died full post mortem didn’t reveal an obvious cause of death. It was so shocking as until that point she seemed a viable baby. 💔 I found out Amelia had died at my 20 week scan and I was given a choice of letting nature take its course or being induced- both options sounded so grim but I decided to be induced. It was a horrendous decision to make Although my story is different to yours I can happily say that I have since go onto have another baby girl Eliza who is now 4 weeks old who was born on the 16th the same day we found out that Amelia had died so I’m sure Amelia helped us have her little sister 😍. I still miss Amelia terribly and I think I always will. Losing her was the worst thing that has ever happened to me 🥲 to lose your child is a loss like no other. 💔🥲I can highly recommend SANDS as place to talk to other mums that have had similar losses. Also counselling may help tho I ended mine as I found it was too hard discussing Amelia in the earlier days of my grief. I hope you have good medical support ( I had wonderful support from a GP who phoned me regularly to see how I was ) also I was prescribed diazepam and anti depressants in the early days of the loss just to help me function for my toddler. I hope you plenty of support during this difficult time. I am so sorry again and am thinking of you during this awful time. Feel free to PM me anytime Xx
I cannot thank you enough for your words and for sharing your experience.
It was induce for me too, on that day I didn't cry at all, but before and after it was another story. I found it weird, but I guess I was numb.
One of my best friends lost her kid 5 days after she was born, she has now twins but she always says that creating life is so difficult, and she is right!! Your story gives me hope ...thank you😘😘
Your poor friend that’s so sad 😭 it’s every parents worst fear. 🥲I think numbness is what you feel the shock takes time to hit you. I didn’t cry when I found out- I kept telling them they were wrong I really didn’t believe them and when it hit me she was really dead I threw up in the toilet there out of pure shock. I hope your hospital took photos etc for you to keep- mine did photos and took hand & foot prints to these are so special to me. I got one of her photos professionally framed and it hangs on my wall with the photos of my other children ( she will always be my daughter) at Christmas we put lights on her photo 🥰 we will tell the girls about her( admittedly I won’t go into all the ins and outs till they’ve finished having children. ) My Aunt and uncle lost their son at 18 years and reckon the shock took 10 years to go it was that bad. The unexpected deaths are awful for shock. I had terrible anxiety with Eliza but I had the best pregnancy care with all the medics. They gave me extra scans and heartbeat checks. I am sure they will also be supportive of you next time 🥰 im sure you will go onto have your rainbow baby 🌈 all the ladies I’ve spoken to and many celebs I’ve read about who’ve had late losses all have had babies afterwards 🌈😍 these stories gave me hope I could have another baby ❤️ Xx
Hi I’m so very sorry to you & your partner on the loss of your precious baby . To lose a child is utterly heartbreaking a pain like no other , especially after having to endure fertility treatments to get pregnant it just seems like the dream turns to nightmare in a split second Mine are Different circumstances but I’m 6 months on from losing my daughter at 34 weeks.
I can say I hope you have support around you in close family / friends , I can recommend the sands online forums ( which other ladies have mentioned) especially as there are many ladies on there who would have specifically gone through a loss like yourself. It can provide information that you may find helpful also I find that not one person close to me has had to go through ivf or child loss so found it quite difficult for family to understand what we go through so these forums have provided great help when you have feelings that no one around you understands ( you are not going crazy it is just others will never understand unless they’ve been through loss / ivf themselves)
The shock of everything can be so overwhelming in the early days. I’d like to say it gets easier but for me it’s a struggle. You kind of just get back to functioning day by day but reality hits . What has helped me is trying to keep my daughters memory alive. Here anytime if you need to chat take care you are in my thoughts xx
I’m so sorry for your devastating loss and all of the pain from what you have had to go through. It’s hard to find the words but I just wanted to send love and say thank you for reaching out, we are all here for you. Take the time that you need, take it at your own pace and look after yourself lovely ❤️xxx
I’m so so sorry to read this. My heart is going out to you. It’s so unfair for this to happen. I don’t have any words other than I’m thinking about you and sending you love. Take care & mind yourself xx
This is utterly heartbreaking and I am so sorry for the loss of your precious and much loved baby. There are no words. I just hope you and your partner have support and understanding family and friends around you at this traumatic time. Please try to look after yourself. It is going to take time to process what has happened. Sadly there are women on here who have will have experienced a similar loss and I am sure they will try to support you as best they can. Thinking of you x
Hi there hun I'm so so sorry for your loss, I went through something similar last year, got pregnant with my first fresh ivf and our hearts were broken when they found out our baby boy had renal agenesis (they don't develop kidneys or bladder) so we also had to make that horrendous decision to terminate pregnancy at 16 weeks. It was one of the most heartbreaking things iv ever had to go through but we felt like parents making the right decision then and that's what you are, parents making the right decision for your baby. We had post mortem results taken and had more investigations done, sometimes it's one of those awful things but never comes back. Also time is a healer you find strength in yourself you never thought you had, I am currently pregnant with my second rainbow baby through FET but iv got everything crossed it will be a smooth pregnancy. I think with what happened to you needs more investigating by doctors. I really hope you get through the pain soon even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. I used to write to my baby in a diary when I needed to you could try that I also took the time to heal and went back to normal activities slowly when I was ready. There's also lots on the Internet about pregnancy loss online I found quite helpful, hope this helps and sending you healing energy your way xxxxx
I’m so so sorry. I can only imagine a fraction of what you are feeling after going through what you have with the joy of a BFP, then bleeding and now this! I’m so sorry, life can be very cruel and unfair. I don’t have any words to ease the pain you are feeling but only to wish you strength and peace in your recovery after 🌺 xx
So sorry for your loss.This hurts so bad.Something Similar happened to me.I lost my Twin girls at 25 weeks due to early preclampsia and loss of amniotic fluid last year.Sending you hugs.
Im so sorry to hear what you have been through its heartbreaking and all I can say is that I hope you find a way to heal and find inner peace and are strong and positive for the next steps. Thinking of you and sending you love and light..🙏
I’m so sorry for your loss and so very harrowing that nothing changed for you once you knew the devastating news. Nothing as harrowing for me but my first pregnancy was a natural pregnancy that ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks. Sadly, I then read that first pregnancies often end in miscarriage - and there’s nothing to stop you going on to have a healthy pregnancy. I’m currently pregnant through ivf but I have age factor on my side too. Take the time to heal ❤️❤️❤️
I am really sorry that you have to go through this. I’m having similar experience but different. I am 41 and was so happy to find out I’m pregnant with my first transfer. The sperm is from my husband who passed away in 2020. Stored prior to him starting chemo in 2017. Unfortunately the pregnancy turned out to be monochorionic twins, sharing one placenta, which can be associated with lots of complications to both babies and myself. Also I simply cannot cope with two babies on my own, with no family nearby, mentally, physically, financially or socially.
Sadly I have decided to terminate, surgery booked for next week at 10 weeks 3 days. So sad that I have to say goodbye to them and also I don’t know if the remaining two embryos will be able to give me a viable pregnancy.
I hope both of us will heal and have strength to keep trying. I wish you all the best.
I’m so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I think counseling may be best for you coupled with antidepressants if that is something you’re willing to take, if just temporarily…… I know someone who is getting infusions of fluid due to her baby not having kidneys and not producing amniotic fluid. I have never heard of this before her. I don’t know what kind of life that baby will have if she makes it to her gestation where the baby will be old enough to have dialysis.
I can't even imagine what you are going through.I know my words won't heal your wounds and maybe even time can dull the pain but healing such a big wound is so hard I pray you fall pregnant again soon with a healthy baby
Totally understand your pain . Don’t have anything positive to share. On Feb 2nd we terminated our 20 weeks pregnancy due to oligihydraminios. I was also bleeding on and off throughout this pregnancy. However in my case the reason for no amniotic fluid was diagnosed as BRA no kidneys in baby . After trying for 5 yrs , 3 ivf we had a pregnancy this far only to terminate is heartbreaking
So sorry for your loss my dear. My heart breaks 💔 for you. I passed through almost same situation last month, at 17 weeks my amniotic fluid just ruptured spontaneously. Previous genetic testing were all negative so nobody knew what could have caused the rupture. I lost my baby just like that after the pain and agony of IVF. They had to induce me and and I delivered my angel dead😭😭😭😭. I'm still hoping to try again after I fully recover. Hope it will be soon.
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Harmony NIPT test 
Period after miscarriage...
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Final scan to confirm miscarriage 
