Termination for medical reasons - Fertility Network UK

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Termination for medical reasons

Gempuddleduck profile image

It’s heart-breaking for me to write this but within the next few days we will be terminating our little one at 13 weeks. 😢

I went for a private scan at 10 weeks which showed NT fluid behind the baby’s head. I had never even heard of this! They then checked it again at my 12 week scan (I was actually only 11+5) and it was at 7mm (anything over 3.5mm is pretty bad). We then had to go to see a specialist who did a CVS test and took some of the fluid from the placenta. By then, we had had my blood test results back which showed high risk for all 3 trisomies. We had an agonising wait of 5 days until yesterday when they called to say our baby has Edward’s syndrome. We are completely heart-broken, especially as we had been trying for this baby for 3.5 years and it was our 5th IVF cycle.

We are grateful that the results were conclusive as it means the decision was almost made for us and that we are still only 13 weeks into the pregnancy but that does not make this any easier.

We will say goodbye to our little one early next week, please send out your love and thoughts for our angel. 💖😢

53 Replies

Oh Gem, I'm so so sorry to hear this. How absolutely heartbreaking. Especially after everything you've been through to get where you are. I don't think it matters how far in to your pregnancy you are - it's still an absolutely devastating loss. I don't know if you're on Instagram but I would recommend - The Worst Girl Gang Ever - it's 2 amazing ladies who are so incredible and supportive but have both been through several losses. It might help a little with feeling less alone.Sending you so much love xxx

Thank you so much - I will look them up 💖

Gem I am soo Sorry for this difficult time that you are going through. I want to tell you how much I admire your strength. Sending you so much love and like others have said be kind to yourself, give yourself time to process everything. I had a spontaneous loss at 16 weeks and looking back I wish I had spent more time or given my baby some kind of send off. Sending love to you and your angel. Please do arm if you want to talk about anything.

The worst girl gang is a good podcast, I agree and big fat negative. I listened to an episode of motherhood exposed recently, it’s called be happy for tomorrow interviewing Mia, she shares a story of having to make that difficult decision after her baby was born, it might be difficult to listen to this kind of thing at the moment, but sharing it for a time that it might help.

Oh I’m just so very sorry to hear such news, sending you lots of love and keeping you in my thoughts. Stay strong and look after yourself and do whatever you need. Xxx

I am so so sorry to read this, this is heartbreaking. Life can be so unfair! Sending lots of love and thoughts at this difficult time 💕

I don't always comment much but still read posts and this really struck me. I'll be thinking of you over the next few days and weeks. It just wasn't meant to be and you have done all you could. Sending you both a big hug, and I hope you take care of yourself and have good support around you. Xx

That is one of the only things getting us through - it just wasn’t meant to be xx

I’m so sorry . I cannot imagine how you feel right now. Just wanted to send you my thoughts. To you and your little angel. I hope you get time to grieve and heal.

I’m really sorry to read this & I’m sending you love & hugs. There’s no words for this really. Thinking of you and your partner as this sad time xxx

I’m so so sorry to hear this. Sending lots of love, ❤️

So so sorry you are having to go through this, sending lots of love xxx

I’m so sorry your little miracle is being taken away and that you have to say goodbye. Life can be so cruel. Sending you love and thinking of you at this awful time.

I’m so sorry to hear this, sending you lots of love and hugs. Look after yourself as much as you can ❤️ xx

Hey. I'm so so sorry to hear this. You are a super strong woman and I will be thinking if you all over the next week. Sending lots and lots of love x x x

How tragic! I am so so sorry! Sending you lots of love your way xx

I'm so incredibly sorry. I had to be induced with my daughter Amelia at 20 weeks as she had no heartbeat at our 20 weeks scan, it was a huge shock and taking the medication to get her out was the saddest feeling in the world. I'm so sorry you are having to do this after all you have been through to get here. I think you have made the right choice not an easy one so tragic 💔🥲 Xx

That is so so terribly sad. May I ask if you managed to have a baby full term after that? Xx

Not yet- but we've conceived since losing her in November . Sadly 2 were early miscarriages( 4 and 8 weeks) but I'm 4 weeks pregnant now really hoping this one will stick 🤞 we do have our 2 year old daughter ( after a 7 year struggle) which we are very grateful for. Most people that have a loss do go on to go to have a healthy baby afterwards ( I'm in the rare 1-100 category) Any loss of a baby is dreadful 😪 I hope you have good medical support. The medics were so good when I lost Amelia I can't fault the care I received Xx

Yes they have been so great with us too. I will pray this is the one for you xxxxx

Thank you. I'm glad the medics are looking after you so well. They did footprints and all sorts when we had Amelia, they are so lovely to have. I don't know if they can do hand and foot prints for a 12 week baby but I hope they can . They also took photos of her and I got one framed in our lounge - we will always talk of Amelia never forget her she is our second daughter Francesca and another one will know they have a special sister that lives in heaven. . The hospital provided a memory box with lots of lovely things. She was cremated so she is home with us 🥲 Planting flowers in honour of the baby is really lovely thing to do. You will never forget the baby you lost. Especially when it's fully formed. I can't compare my earlier losses ( I had 4 - one before our Francesca too) though I do feel saddened they didn't make it I'm not heartbroken like i am with Amelia, with Amelia I lost my child. And for you it's the same it's a loss of a child and a future you won't have with them 🥲 it's cruel and unfair 💔 But with the right support you will get through this. Take all the help you need, I needed diazepam and anti depressants to help me function better for our toddler. The hospital often offer counselling which some find helpful ( I found it dragged all the pain up too much for me) Tommy's and sands were also very helpful and supportive really understood my grief. I joined online with Sands community it's nice to talk to other mums who have also lost a baby. I'm sure in time you will go onto have a healthy little baby 🌈 Xx

Sending you the biggest hugs xxx

I am so so sorry. Sending you all the love in the world xxxx

Absolutely gutted to read this. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. It's just so unfair, life can be so cruel. So hard to understand why these things happen to lovely people. As you say, the decision is really out of your hands here💔 The wait for answers must also have been so tough. Sending you lots of love xx

That’s so heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time

So very sorry to hear this, what a heartbreaking finding. Sending you many hugs xx

So incredibly sorry to read this. Sending you lots of love and strength xxx

I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending love and light and prayers for your angel baby x

I am so so sorry to read this heart breaking news 😢 sending hugs because I don’t have any words 🥺😢💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

This is heartbreaking, I’m so so sorry that you have to go through this. Sending hugs x

I'm so sorry to hear your news, it's truly devastating...I cant even begin to imagine! Sending you lots of love and strength at this heartbreaking time.xxx

Jeez this is absolutely heartbreaking, I feel so so sorry you’ve had to make this decision - it’s certainly not an easy one.

You’ve been strong enough to come in here and announce this, you need to hold onto that strength to carry you through xx

My heart is breaking for you and your little one. Sending you so much love. At this difficult time

So sorry to hear. That’s so hard. Thinking of the little baby and you ❤️

This brought me to tears. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Life is really unfair 😪. Take some time to heal and take care of yourself.

Fly high little angel! Sending love and hugs! Be strong!!!!!

So sorry, words can't express the hurt you must be going through. Just wasn't meant to be. Your going to get through this though.

I’m so so sorry to read this. I can’t believe how cruel life can be sometimes. Sending you so much love xxx

Sending you strength take care

Sending you lots of love and strength at this unbelievably difficult time. The choice you are making is the right one but doesn’t make it any easier for you both. We had to make this decision at 21 weeks as our little girl Ellie was found to have Edwards, we hadn’t done the tests earlier (something we hugely regret) and was only found on the 20 week scan, we were heartbroken. This is a very tough time and you’ll need to take good care of yourself and each other, try and take some time off so you can process. You are not alone although I know it may feel like you are. Thinking of you xxxx

Thank you so much for replying and I’m so so sorry you had to go through that. What a horrible nightmare. I hope time has healed you in some ways xxxxx

I am so so sorry and upset to read your post. I went through something very similar in 2019 and it completely broke me. There are no words that can take the pain away. Life really makes no sense at times. The loss of a baby and all the dreams you had for it are just heart shattering. But your precious baby will never be forgotten and will forever live on in your hearts. We brought our baby home and planted a pink rose tree in memory of her. It helps me to know that she will always be with us. Sending you love and strength at this heartbreaking time 💗x

I’m so so sorry

So sorry to read this news. After working so hard to get to this stage no one want to get this news. I wish you all the best and hope your journey doesn't stop here. Good luck

Hi, I am sorry to read your story. But the question to your clinic - why haven't they offered your combining IVF with PGS NGS to know your embryos are healthy? Syndroms (chemical pregnancies. mcs, etc) are mostly related to aneuploidies, and they might have discussed the issue with you.

To be completely honest, we are wondering the same thing. We are not going to go with them again as feel very let down and will not do any more IVFs without testing in the future.

So sorry to hear this. I felt I had to reply, Make sure you take the time to grief your little one. I too had a ‘Termination For Medical Reasons’ when my little boy was 23 weeks, it’s so heart breaking, we had to MAKE the decision which was so hard as no one can force you, but in some ways you want to be forced as I still feel guilt everyday. Our little one had severe heart abnormalities which would have given him no quality of life if he had made it to full term, but always I think what if they were wrong etc etc. This was 9 years ago and some days still feels so raw. Always hear to chat if you need to x

What a horrible, horrible decision to make. I completely sympathise with you and am so many hugs. This is a very unfair world sometimes isn’t it xxxx

Thank you, and yes it can be very unfair, but everything is done for a reason and to test us and we become stronger, I always try to think of the positive in everything (if that is at all possible) I know that can be very hard though xx

I am so so sorry you are going through this. Thinking of you xxxx

My heart is breaking for you. I went through this at 18 weeks 5 days in February so truly know what you are going through. I’m here if you want to chat or vent. Will be thinking of you and sending you lots of strength and love xx💛

It’s so so hard isn’t it. Sending you so much love too xxxx

It is, it’s just so cruel. Take care of yourself xxx

I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you’ve been offered lots of support xx

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