Donor IUI or IVF?: My husband and I are... - Fertility Network UK

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Donor IUI or IVF?

RoseLodge32 profile image
10 Replies

My husband and I are embarking on the journey of using donor sperm having been diagnosed with NOA. Like I am sure a lot of people do, we put ourselves on the NHS waiting list and began looking into IUI privately. We are due to start our first natural IUI cycle this month, however we had a NHS Consultation this week where we were told we could start IVF in January. We are now facing the dilemma of whether to push forward with the private IUI cycle or hold out for IVF on the NHS start of next year. Whilst IUI is less invasive, I am now 33 so thinking maybe having some embryos on ice would be the most sensible idea. However, my AMH levels are also on the lower side which makes me worry that I will be a poor responder with IVF (the Consultant isn't concerned about this) and end up going through a very hard process with little luck on the other side.

Has anyone else been in a similar position? What did you end up doing? Any experiences you can share would be appreciated! I am such an indecisive person and this is really stressing me out!

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RoseLodge32
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10 Replies
Ladybugluck profile image
Ladybugluck

My strong advise is to do IVF, especially with lower ovarian reserve. It gives you a much better shot at actually getting pregnant. It it doesn’t work you can always do IUI’s after. We started with IUI’s for my wife but moved to IVF after three cycles because it wasn’t working and her AMH wasn’t super high. We got our son from that cycle! For me two years later I had an indication of lower ovarian reserve (high FSH, normal AMH) and our clinic strongly recommended going straight to IVF. I’m currently 33 weeks pregnant! My wife has since tried to do further rounds of IVF to preserve the option for a 3rd baby but because 3.5 years Have passed she’s not having any success as her fertility has declined drastically. When my fertility was first tested 3.5 years ago they said— man! You have the fertility of a 25 year old (I was 33); but 2.5 years later when I went to start my own fertility journey the numbers looked much different and they were concerned about declining fertility. I had no idea things could change so fast! Both of us regret not doing IVF earlier and just having embryos on ice for the future.

All this to say— time is of the essence ESPECIALLY if you have a slightly lower AMH. Statistically IVF gives you a much better shot, I say go for it as quickly as possible!

RoseLodge32 profile image
RoseLodge32 in reply toLadybugluck

Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations! I am glad it has worked out for you both :) <3. This is my thinking too re time being very much of the essence and you are right in that if IVF doesn't work, we can always try IUI afterwards. It sounds ridiculous but I feel guilty for turning around to the private clinic and saying we don't want to go forward with the IUI anymore!

Ladybugluck profile image
Ladybugluck in reply toRoseLodge32

Totally understand you feeling guilty, sounds like something I would feel in similar circumstances but you do NOT owe a private clinic that. You have to do what’s best for your fertility. They don’t offer refunds if their course doesn’t work.

RoseLodge32 profile image
RoseLodge32 in reply toLadybugluck

You are completely right. I think I need to just keep reminding myself what I would say to a friend or family member, or someone on here!

JA-fnuk profile image
JA-fnukPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

As previous post says IVF has a much better success rate than IUI - because with IUI the sperms got to meet the egg continue growing then implant But with IVF- egg is already fertilised and really just needs implantation to occur. While having NHS treatment you could still be saving for private treatment should you need it Good luck

Janet

Seren0119 profile image
Seren0119

IVF is much tougher physically and emotionally, but given how expensive donor sperm is and given the low success rate of IUI, I would strongly advise IVF for your best chance xx

RoseLodge32 profile image
RoseLodge32

Thank you both, this is all new to me and I don't have anyone close who has gone through something like this before (as far as I am aware!). So I really do appreciate your input! It also would mean my husband and I could just spend two months relaxing (which we've not done much of recently!) and enjoying Christmas prior to starting treatment! xx

Squareark profile image
Squareark

Given your situation, I would skip IUI and go directly to IVF. I've read somewhere that success rates for IUI is around 8%, whereas IVF is closer to 30-35% (age dependent). While you still have a lot of time, sometimes it's nice to have frozen embryos if you want more than one child.

Having said that, IVF is a much more intense journey both physically and mentally, and even if you are successful you may end up with more difficult decisions (like what to do with extra frozen embryos). So I definitely understand people who don't want to rush into IVF.

Anecdotally speaking, my only friend who's had success with IUI had trouble with ovulation (she had OHSS and didn't ovulate on a regular basis). So the fertility client put her on medication to make sure that she ovulated and that worked out for her. All my other friends and myself (6-7 women in our mid 30s) had 0 success with IUI.

Ting9 profile image
Ting9

My wife and I have gone through three rounds of IUI using donor sperm and unfortunately, none were successful despite my wife having good AMH levels and is a similar age to you. We have started our IVF journey and planning to have a frozen transfer this month. On reflection we wish we went straight to IVF but it is all hindsight! Good luck on your fertility journey and feel free to message if you have any questions!

RoseLodge32 profile image
RoseLodge32

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences! Hindsight is a wonderful thing ay but it's great that places like this exist so we get to share those with other people! The thought of going through IVF is incredibly daunting but I know that if it works it will of course all be worth it and it feels like it's the better longer term option. I really do appreciate your replies. So thankful I have a place like this to go to! xx

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