BFN Making sense of it.

[Capps8]

So not due to test till Monday but I’ve normally had a BFP at this stage so I know this FET has not worked.

Looking for theories on how to make it stick next time.

Is it just the luck of the draw?? Makes my brain hurt why didn’t this embryo stick???? This is the first time I’ve had a BFN after 1 pregnancy and 1 miscarriage. Is it the luck of the draw? Did I eat too many biscuits? Did I work too hard?

I’m also wondering if stress has an effect as in this 2WW my mum has been diagnosed with a horrific life threatening auto-immune disease so I’ve been upset pretty much everyday and accompanying her to hospital appointments and caring for her.

Now I’m thinking do I take a break until the New Year and sort my head out with all this other stuff in my life. Get shitfaced over xmas.

But trivial as it sounds if I go again end of November due date would be august and I can save a whole years childcare when they are 4. Does anyone brain work stupidly and trivially like this planning for a baby that may never even be real? Sometimes feel like a crazy lady.

[Trying6years]

Hey, sorry it’s a BFN for you.. I think the official advice is to stay on meds and test again on test day, I had to get a blood test too even though I had a negative last time.. which I found frustrating as I just knew and it was just prolonging it all

It won’t be anything you have or haven’t done. You’ve had successful implantation before so it’s likely the embryo. It must be so tough going through this along with your mum being ill, I really feel for you - but I don’t believe stress (or biscuits, I hope not anyway 😆) will effect things so try not to put blame on yourself.

Just before my round got cancelled the first time, I had worked out a due date and thought about all sorts of plans, then after operation to remove tube my sister in law announced she was pregnant around the same time I had worked out, so I told myself I wouldn’t even think about it again but course I did for next 2 transfers! I think it’s natural as we have hope and want to imagine a baby will come along after we do treatment, otherwise why would we be doing it! Only you know when to try again, if you feel you’d benefit more emotionally from taking a break and enjoying Xmas then go with that over the thoughts of potentials like childcare, take care of yourself xx

[Capps8 in reply to Trying6years]

Thank you for the reply. All the little nuances of infertility drive me mad and my mind moves ahead of itself sometimes. I wish I had a magic ball to know it will be okay it will happen or it just won’t so stop wasting money and emotion. It’s a slog isn’t it. I also have tremendous guilt on here as I already have a daughter and I used to secretly get annoyed at secondary infertility people until it happened to me. I’m sending positive energy in you 2WW that you get a good result xx