BFN: Hi, This is my first post. A bit... - Fertility Network UK

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BFN

Hi,

This is my first post. A bit of background - Me and my OH have been TTC for 3 years. We had a MMC in 2015 at 12 weeks which was conceived naturally (I now realise how much of a fluke that was!) We had 1 IVF cycle in March 2017 - 11 eggs collected with 6 fertilised but we didn't get to ET because they all arrested at day 3. 2nd IVF cycle in June 2017 - out of 22 eggs collected, 14 fertilised but only 1 made a blastocyst but didn't get there till day 6 so we didn't do ET at that time.

Just been through FET cycle and got BFN yesterday. Just felt numb all day but it's starting to hit me today.

We've been told that it's an egg quality issue (probably due to my age - I'm 38) that means we don't get good blastocysts despite me having good egg reserves. This latest failure has made me realise that it may be impossible for me to ever have children and I'm just feeling so low.

Just looking for some support out there and how other people have dealt with this situation?

Thanks all xx

31 Replies
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Aww I’m sorry to be reading how difficult it’s been for you already. There’s no easy way to deal with the disappointment of a bfn, only time. As for the egg quality issue, is donor egg something you and your OH can consider? Could you afford to do a DE cycle? There are lots of women on here who’ve had success with it. Some even ruled it out initially only to come around to the idea at a later stage. Whatever you decide to do I want to wish you good luck with your journey xx

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Thanks for your message. The clinic has suggested that DE might be something we have to consider but I don't know how I feel about it at the moment. I guess I don't really know very much about it - will have to do some research. I guess I was just hoping that we wouldn't get to that stage and that it would be ok. xx

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Just had my second BFN for my second cycle I totally get your feeling

We just can't give up . we need to try again and again until we get what we want . Have a faith and be strong

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I'm so sorry, it just gets harder to deal with each time though doesn't? But you're right we should stay strong, thanks xx

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My first cycle was so similar to yours except we didnt get the amount of eggs you guys did. Its so heartbreaking! I went onto using DHEA for 3 months to help with egg quality and we got 2 expanding blasts on 2nd cycle which was hugs for us...started bleeding before OTD. Cycle 3 we got 1 good quality blastocyst but again started bleeding before OTD. Im around the same age as you, have you considered trying DHEA? Although we didnt get a BFP we got better quality embryos and this is the only thing that we changed, you can read back my previous posts for info or ask me anything. We've sinced moved onto a DE cycle which Im in the midst of! Sending big hugs, know how hard all of this is!!xx

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I think it's just such a shock when you're going through the process and then you don't even get to transfer anything! I've never heard of DHEA - will do some research into that thanks! Good luck with your DE cycle xx

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Read it 'it starts with an egg' my first round of ivf I had a poor blastocyst resulting in bfn. I then read the book and put some of what it said into practice and got a top quality blastocyst and BFP also two Frosties. You don't have to do all that it says in the book but it gave me hope in how to help myself improve egg quality and sperm quality.

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Thanks I'll look it up. Congrats on your BFP xx

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Hi

My OH and I are coming out of our first EC. I am 44, and had 7 eggs collected but only 2 fertilised. I was told that the embryos are poor quality graded C and D but they froze them anyway. I wasn't told anything about potentially having bad egg quality due to maternal age so I couldn't use DHEA before our 1st treatment. I have now ordered the micronized DHEA from MacPherson Labs online to see if this will increase our chances of better quality eggs. WE have another 2 EC's left before having to consider when to do FET, as I have to have a myomectomy first. Hope that this helps.

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Do you get DHEA from the doctor or is it something you can get yourself? I've never heard of this, not sure why the clinic wouldn't have mentioned it if it's something that can help... thanks for the info and good luck xx

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Hi

I don't think for one minute that any doctor would prescribe it. It is a naturally occurring substance that is in your body but as you age, it reduces significantly. It is not supported in England hence why most of us will acquire it from the States or Europe. Some clinical trials have proven successful in improving egg quality and many of the ladies on here have had varying degrees of success. My DH and I are paying private for IVF so we doing what we can to enhance our every chance of decent eggs. We were fobbed off for years by the NHS (Don't get me started on that subject!!!) so, the short answer is....you can get it yourself.

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We're paying private as well so definitely want to try everything I can. I don't understand why clinics wouldn't suggest something if it's known to help, it just doesn't make sense to me!! Thanks so much for the info I will definitely look into it x

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Ask your consultant about it, see where they stand on using it. Some clinics like to see how a woman fares without it the first round, but may suggest it on any subsequent rounds. You have to be taking at least 75mg per day for 10-12 weeks for it to start being effective. Do your homework and the research. I ordered Micronized DHEA as it is meant to be the best form.

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Ok thanks, next time would be 3rd round so sounds like I definitely need to look into it and will ask at my follow up appointment next week xx

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Sorry to jump in be careful with dhea, I was told from a clinic that does use it can be side effects including raised blood pressure

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Like I did say, do the homework first!!

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Just read your post. I am so sorry. I know the feeling, even though the situation is not the same. My husband and i had been trying to concieve for 4 years. He had a poor sperm motility, which affected sperm quality. As well as myself having PCOS.

He had 3 operations to try and get sperm going and nothing. We had our first round of ivf last year. I had 22 eggs grow, but 2 hours before EC i ovulated early. Which only has 1% chance of ever happening we were told. I was absolutely crushed after it taking so so long to even get that far.

I also had 2 stepchildren to bring up in the mean time, so i really felt this was never going to happen our bodies just wernt compatible.

In April this year we decided to have 1 more round of ivf before consodering doners, as well as the added expense to the already 20k we had spent trying.

After a long cycle i had 11 eggs retrieved. Only 1 made it to transfer stage, with none of the others developing properly. I was gutted, but bad 1 transfered. And thankfully that 1 held on tight and i am now 5 months pregnant.

I know it is so easy to say, but please please dont give up hope. It really does only take 1. And found that with a break between cycles to get my head around everythig really helped.

I say this after having countless doctors tell us this just wasnt going to happen for us.

Stay strong. And dont lose hope! Xxxx

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Thanks your story does give me hope. Congratulations to you xx

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I’m sorry I can’t give any advice on this, but just wanted to send you my love, life can be very cruel! X x

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Thanks xx

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We’re in a similar situation in that we too had a mmc in 2015 after natural conception, then IVF in March 2017 which was unsuccessful, followed by a FET this month that we found out today, was unsuccessful. It’s a tough journey xxx

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Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so tough, sending hugs to you xx

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Thank you. Sending hugs back - good luck on your journey xxx

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I can understand your situation. But my advice is that you should never ever lose hope. If you have an egg quality issue then someone can donate you the healthy eggs. And if you do not want the process of IVF again then go for surrogacy. You can have your own child from a surrogate mother. Surrogacy is becoming very common nowadays at reasonable prices. Better luck for next time.

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Hi there. How are you? I think your IVF will work soon. You may try again for IVF if it doesn't work this time. Surrogacy or IUI are also the procedures. I hope you become a mother soon. I wish you all the best. Take care of your diet and health.

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We were told similar about egg quality after 2 bfns and a miscarriage. We asked for what our clinic calls level 1 and level 2 tests. We didn’t want to throw any more money at ivf if I had an implantation issue as well. Mind you, it was £3grand for all the tests so we were still throwing money at it. We totally thought it was me. But the karotyping test came back showing my husband has a balanced chromosome translocation and that’s probably why our embryos weren’t developing well. I don’t produce masses of eggs and I’m in my late 30s so that won’t be helping, but the chromosome translocation is almost certainly the reason for our problems. I’ve since had another natural miscarriage and am now undergoing ivf for a pgd cycle where they will test the embryos to see if any are normal. It’s not very likely. But it’s nhs funded, miraculously.

I now tell everyone as the karyotyping on its own is a relatively cheaper test. But there’s a very slim chance it is your problem, only 1 in 500 of the general population have it, which rises to 2% of infertile couples. Nonetheless it’s information and worth knowing about.

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I am so sorry to hear about you. This how bad is infertility and not having kids. I would suggest you to consult some surrogacy clinic as I have seen in one of the video that there is no issue related with age of women. You can get your treatment done there, or if still there is some issue with your eggs you can choose to use donor eggs too.

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hey! im sorry to thear that you and your husband are gong through such difficult times. i think that you guys ight benefit from a donor? it could be someone you know, or maybe you could get in contact with some clinic or hopital that provides that sort of thing. i went for the same thing, and i used a clinc in ukraine to get an egg donor so that i could have a baby. they did really well. and they were very careful about screening th donors, and making sure they were all healhy. it made me feel very much at easy, and i also felt relieved that i didnt have to go through the pressure of concieiving on my own. the clinic really helped me out. i hope that things go well for you too! best wishes!

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I am glad you finally posted about your feelings. I am sure it would be very hard for you. However, don't lose hope! There are still so many options available that you could opt for. These days doctors suggest a lot of alternatives. If one thing doesn't work out there is always another option. Also, stay strong! The only way to resolve an issue is to be strong and positive about it.

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I am very sorry for you, you are facing problems from the start. I know exactly how you may be feeling right now. Its a part of life many of couples faced these problems and recover according to the best possible treatment. Give importance to this situation. It can affect you.

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Hello ladies?Two months ago, I found out pregnant, after trying for 2 years. I found out I was only one week pregnant, then miscarried 3 days later. Since then, getting pregnant has become an obsession. Now that I know I can get pregnant, the last 2 months, I have been doing ovulation tests and having sex with my husband more at those times. I am 38 years old. I never miss a period. They are always regular, every 28 days.Could what you suggested age be a factor in how difficult it has been to get pregnant?

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