BFN 😢😢😢 devastated

Tested 1 day early , purely because I just knew in my heart what the answer was going to be as I felt exactly the same way as I did last time we got bfn.

I'm absolutely gutted this was our last nhs go, we have talked about going private and using donor eggs but I'm just so unsure what way to go , as we certainly aren't rich.😭 I'm just so fed up that my body fails Me, what have i done to deserve this life!

I'm also sick because I've been off from work and although a few of my close colleagues know we go through ivf I never tell them test date but my husband who works at the same place has blabbed to my close colleagues and one of them had emailed me wishing me good luck ..... which would be a nice thing to do but I just see it as added pressure the hubby just doesn't get it ..... he also insists on telling his hole family there is 6 sibbling in his family and they all decide to ring or text on test day I find this so frustrating .

Thank you for all the good wishes and advice on this journey I hope all who are on there 2ww get there BFP and to all that have got your BFP I hope you all have a happy and healthy pregnancy. To any one who has recived bad news I send huge hugs to you all xx

Xx

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Oh Im so sorry! I completely get the things about not telling people test day, my hubby is the same....has all his family told. I just said well you can tell them if its bad news and stuck to that. I had to tell a few more people than I would have liked due to it being a run of 40ths including my own and didnt have any excuse to not be joining in celebrations. I just sent the same text before anyone asked to get it out of the way, doesnt make it too much easier but thought it was better than getting messages in dribs and drabs!

Take some time to think about where to go from here, its a hard decision spending hard earned cash that you dont have on treatment although I have to say once its paid then we've just tried not to think about it too much. We also went abroad so it was a bit cheaper but that's not for everyone!

Sending massive hugs!xx

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Thank you, I guess it must be a man thing, he does try and hide from me that her told them all but I always find out, i just think the whole thing of test day of me having some control.

It certainly is a hard decision we will have to have begging bowl out to my parents if we decide to go ahead, I guess we have a long time to make our minds up as I want to loose about 2 stone before we go ahead with anything.

That's good advice though if we go ahead we just need to forget what we have paid, god I drive myself mad with pro's and con's.

Xx

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So sorry to hear this 😞 sending a huge hug your way xxx

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Thank you x

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I'm so sorry to hear this. xxx

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Thank you x

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Oh I’m so sorry to read this, I agree to many people knowing does add extra pressure hopefully your Hubby will tell them for you.

Take some time to rebuild your strength and I’m sure you’ll be able to make the decision that’s best for you. Hope your doggies are giving lots of cuddles xx

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Thank you, I think my test day is my little bit of control, but hubby just doesn't get it.... Will definatly get him to break the news.

I want to loose about 2 stone before we do anything, so I guess we have a while to decide.

I've been getting lots of cuddles and kisses off my crazy dogs xx

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Definitely it’s the only bit of this cruel journey we have control over. I think men don’t always understand the emotions we go through especially during the tww.

Sometimes having a break helps, I honestly didn’t think it would but I’m so glad we are. For once I’m trying to enjoy things on the build up to Christmas not obsessing over treatment.

Ah you can’t beat a sloppy kiss! Xx

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No men don't get it i emailed him telling him how upset I was, his response was just totally not getting it, he doesn't know I've tested today.

We had booked up to go away to the lake district for new year so will have a very merry & care free new year and see what 2018 brings us , you right will be nice not worrying over Christmas everything is calorie free 😉 xx

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Oh that’s so hard, my hubbys similar though it the not getting it. His new favourite phrase is ‘I don’t have your hormones how wound I know’ 🙈

That sounds perfect, hope you have a great time! Haha love that, calorie free Christmas here I come 😜 xx

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So sorry to hear this take care of yourself xxx

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Thank you xx

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So sorry xxx

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Thank you x

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Devastated for you. So disappointing for you and your hubbie. Thinking of you right now. Wishing you all the best and every success in the next stage of your journey.xo

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Thank you x

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I know how you feel, my test day is tomorrow and I tested on day 11 and 12 which was a negative. Could tell it hasn't worked as my body changed back to normal and last time I had positive day 6 onwards after transfer. I made my husband swear not to tell anyone as I do not need anyone else to know. Hang in there, it will happen for you. All we can do is hope ! Big hugs x

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Sorry to hear you got a BFN too ☹ they are so cruel!

My husband said himself that he didn't want to tell his family thus time when we started but lone behold he's managed to tell them all again.

I said to him if we do decide to go donor egg I don't want his family finding out ( there all very opinionated) he thought this was a huge joke and started acting the goat 😠.

Let's hope 2018 brings our miracles xx

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Sorry to hear it’s bfn! That’s rubbish. I’ve said it before but actually found the bfn to be worse than bfp and miscarriage as you just don’t know what went wrong. I also have been quite open about it as can’t lie when people ask what we’re up to then regretted it on test day as I have to undo everything I’ve done. Unfortunately it is just difficult to get on the same wavelength as your hubby. Last time mine even sent some friends a WhatsApp of the positive test which I still visualise now when thinking how it went wrong. Sounds like you will be able to enjoy Xmas though and think of all the fizz and blue cheese you can have! Sending a big hug xx

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Thank you for your kind words, bfn certainly are horrible.

Men certainly are hard to get on the same wave length, I think it all goes back to its our bodies that go through it all and they just burry there heads in the sand 🙈, or is that just mine lol.

Calorie free Christmas here we come lol we are actually away for new year which I think will do us some good.

I hope you get your BFP xx

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So so sorry to hear this honey. Loads of hugs coming your way xxx

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Thank you so much x

I hope you get your BFP xx

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I’m so sorry to hear this. Wish there is something I can do. Xxx

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Thank you, unfortunately it's just one of those rubbish things xx

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It’s just hard. You’re welcome x

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I am so sorry to hear this . It hurts so much . I hope you are ok . Big hugs x x

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Thank you, I will be in sure. A few drinks over the weekend will numb it lol xx

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I am so so sorry! IVf is just cruel xx

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It certainly is xx

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Ah Im so sorry. Life can be cruel and unfair. Totally underatand re limiting what people know, after all they wouldnt know any details at all if you were trying naturally. Take care of yourself 😘😘😘

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Thank you, I've said that to hom before would they be on the phone asking if we have had sex if we where trying naturally 🤣xx

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Haha exactly. I've always found that quite strange! Ive told family now about our upcoming ivf but only my mum knows the dates. Ive asked hubby not to tell any dates as like yourself I know i wont cope with the checking in texts... is it positive?!

Equally i think we all deserve some element of surprise given we wont get the surprise announcement other couples get from a natural pregnancy. Xx

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That's all i would tell too my mam, i think most mams just know when u need space ect.

Good luck with your cycle, I hope you get your BFP xx

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Thank you! I hope ur next treatment leads tp ur BFP too! Xxx

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😖😢😖 im sorry sweetness ❤️❤️❤️

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Thank you x

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I'm so sorry to hear this were in the same place I had my 1 and only final go on nhs which failed let's be strong we can get passed this and try again xxx

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So sorry to hear that your cycle didn't work either, it's so hard, let's hope 2018 is our year xx

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💔 so sorry. It’s not fair xxx

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Thank you x

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I'm so sorry to hear your bad news. :-(( I too am in the same position as you. I did my final IVF after 10 egg collections with no pregnancy. My doctor has advised that I need donor eggs. It's a very hard decision to make but if that's the only way I will be a mum then I have to try. Thinking of you x

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Thank you, sorry to hear you are in same position, it's so rubbish. X

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Oh cocker I’m so sorry, my heart sank when I read your update. I hope you are getting lots of cuddles off your fur babies. Sending you the biggest hug, remember we are all here for you any time xxxxx

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Thank you, my fur babies have been on hand to pick away the tears 😊, they just know something is wrong.

Xx

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Aw they are so sensitive aren’t they. Hope they are giving you some strength and comfort xxxxx

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Sending hugs Hun I know it's just awful , I've stopped thinking about treatment now and to be honest it's a relief , we will be back on the IVF rollercoaster next year but for now enjoy Christmas and do lots of really nice things just for you , my BFN was a kick in the teeth for me it's still fresh now but the thing that has really picked me up is finding myself again and my husband . IVF makes everything a little bit mad the hormone the drugs I think some times a break is a must , sending you all the best wishes in the world . I hope 2018 is a fantastic one for us all xx

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Thank you sorry to hear about your BFN too they are so rubbish.

Your right we will switch off from it all and enjoy life for a while, we are going away for new years eve so we will bring the new year in with a bang xx

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Hope you have a fab time Hun , we are doing the same this year . I think distraction is the best medicine at the moment . Relax and your be tested for your journey to continue .

Sending all my prayers xx

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Oh honey I am so so sorry for your loss..telling people or not is a hard decision as we have gone on we have told less and less people about our cycles..they know we are having ivf but not when as I found on first 2 bfns my heart was breaking and I had to text folk. ..you know what tell don't tell it's totally ur call...allow urself to be sad and angry and all things in between as this totally sucks..sending you massive love xxx

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Thank you, we do try and keep it quiet I don't mind some people knowing but dates I do like to keep quiet like you say you can choose then when you can tell people , rather than them phoning and texting wanting a answer ( his family do this.)

We are currently sat having a few g&t's trying to chill out.

We will enjoy Christmas and move forward in the new year.

I hope you are doing ok xx

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When people said to me “let us know how it goes”, my answer was that we would “tell them if we got to 12 weeks like any normal pregnancy”. Maybe if you go again you can pro-actively tell his family that and ask them not to text. At least they’re showing they care about you both, it’s a shame he doesn’t realise that it puts extra pressure on you x

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I like your answer I think I will steal that for next time 😊.

I think we will definatly have to have another plan with his family, at least dealt with them all this time x

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Well done for getting through it this time x

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Aw I know exactly how you feel big 🤗.

We’ve just had our last NHS donor egg treatment and now we’re both in the situation that will will have to pay for treatment and it’s not cheap.

I’m wondering what area you are living in ?

We done this 3times now and had to go through the obstacle do we tell people or not, I’m sure they’re is no right or wrong answer in it. Either way it’s hard. Your husband was probably just excited about the whole thing.

I know it’s hard I’ve been in the darkest of places over the last 6 weeks and if you need a chat I’m here

Sending big hugs 🤗

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Thank you sorry to hear you haven't been successful either, my first 3 rounds where with my own eggs, so doner eggs would be totally new to us.

It's certainly not cheap and a huge leap to have to pay.

I'm from north east of the uk, where are you living ?

Let's hope 2018 is a better year for us both x

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Hi

I’m also from the North east of England. I hope 2018 brings you lots of happiness, we are going to wait to try again. I’ve talked with my partner and we have decided to get married in 2019 then try again with a private clinic. This time around has been the hardest especially when I geared up my body to find out their was nothing to put back into it, back at the clinic on Monday to find out what exactly happened to our potential 2 little babies, it’s not an appointment that we are both looking forward too but hopefully will bring us some closure to our NHS go’s. If that makes sense.

Xx

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What a awful time you have had, I can totally understand why your not looking forward to your meeting , but hopefully like you say it will give you some closure behind the nhs.

Awww it's lovely that you are getting married in 2019, I hope you have a lovely day 😊. Then hopefully you whenever you have the strength to try again I hope you get your BFP xx

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That's really horrible news, I'm so sorry. Your disappointment is totally understandable. I've been very private about our experiences for the exact reasons you describe; dealing with my own sadness and disappointment is hard enough without having people who really don't understand the situation asking me about it. It's so very private and so very sensitive.

I do hope your break to the lakes gives you some time to gather your thoughts and rebuild. Lots of love to you xxx

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Thank you , we are currently sat drinking g&t I'm sure it will make us very wise by the end of the night lol.

We love the lakes I think it will be perfect turn off 😊. To be ready for 2018 x

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