Everything has gone wrong. I ruined my FET :'(

[Ell493]

I'm 5 days post 5dt. I was starting to experience pregnancy symptoms and now they have gone away.

I traveled home the day after FET and it was so hard. It took over 48 hours of flights and I've only slept 6 hours total in 3 days. An hour here or there and poor sleep at that. I had to lug my heavy suitcase down 4 fights of stairs because there was no one to help me. My husband and I immediately got into a fight when I got home and the stress of it was overwhelming. Now I'm really sick and my chest is burning.

No wonder my symptoms have gone away. Things couldn't have gone more wrong if I tried. The clinic said it was okay to go home the next day but I shouldn't have done it. It's 5000 miles.

[hoping2021]

Hey ell493, check out my post from a few days ago. I was stressed about stressing and worried that I’d blown my chances… but another woman also posted that she moved to other side of the world during her 2ww after fet and got pregnant- so don’t worry… it’s too early to say… test on test day!

[Ell493 in reply to hoping2021]

Thanks, I'll try to stay positive.

[Hidden]

Honestly nothing you have done will have ruined things. Think of all those women who don’t know they are pregnant, lift heavy stuff, go on holiday, drink gallons of booze, smoke cigarettes, do gymnastics, have hot baths etc etc etc

My first pregnancy I got pregnant in Japan - had no idea - drank alcohol pretty much every day - 12 hour flight home - carried my own bags as OH travelled separately. Rode (and fell off) my horse etc etc and that baby stuck around for quite a while (lost it nothing to do with any of that!)

The main thing is to not stress and give your embryo the best chance starting from NOW. So put that behind you! And focus on growing that baby!

Good luck xx

[Ell493 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you xx

[Picalilli99]

As the others have said I’m sure that as stressful as they are none, of these things will actually sway it one way or another - if it’s meant to stick it will stick. So please don’t beat yourself up anymore and hold on in there lovely. Best of luck for the rest of your 2ww xxx

[Ell493 in reply to Picalilli99]

Thanks xx

[Hidden]

Hi Ell493 it does sounds like you’ve been going through a stressful time. However I think there’s been a lot of research now done to show that going through stress does not affect the outcome. So try to let that go as you’re now stressing about having been stressed. I also had no symptoms during my 2ww and thought it had failed but I am now 19 weeks pregnant. You won’t know either way until test day. Just try to do what you can now to be kind to yourself - go for walks/rest/watch tv/read a good book etc. Best of luck xx

[Ell493 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks! I keep watching videos of other women getting a BFP at the end of the 2 weeks and they all have symptoms. So it's probably not helpful to watch those. Also, losing symptoms triggers me back to my miscarriage too. I'll try not to think about it though.

[Hidden in reply to Ell493]

Definitely try not to watch those videos or google stuff. To be honest on this forum I’ve read more positive stories about no symptoms and positive results rather than the other way around. Also remember each pregnancy even for the same person is so different - my first pregnancy had symptoms then I had a missed miscarriage, second transfer mild symptoms BFN, third transfer no symptoms and now 19 weeks. Just got to keep going through the agony of the 2ww, only that test result will tell you the truth xx

[Ell493 in reply to Hidden]

Very true, thanks 💜

[Foxez]

Drink some green tea. Stress management vs anxiety is the battle in the 2 week wait.

[Snurf]

I had the most enormous fight with my husband just before my transfer. My adrenaline and cortisol must have been sky high and it worked! Honestly you’ve got to remember most women don’t have a clue they’re pregnant at this point so try not to beat yourself up

[HopeOfYou]

Hi Ell,

for my lucky FET I travelled by myself abroad, with a stop; and travelling from Schengen to not Schengen meant I had to carry my luggage across the airport (one of the largest airports in Europe) to have my passport checked. I also went for a walk before going to the airport, so I did walk quite a bit that day.

But apart from anecdotical evidence: an embryo takes a few days to attach completely to their mum. Embryos have enough energy to survive for a few days after the transfer (in the right environment, but I trust the doctors put it in the right place ). So don't worry, it won't be this stress to make a transfer fail.

Also, symptoms come and go over the whole pregnancy. I was really convinced it failed because I had no symptoms---for example, I usually feel a short stinging pain when an embryo attaches. However, every time I felt this it ended up in a chemical. That lucky time, I didn't feel a thing.

Don't beat yourself, or your husband, up for this. Now try to take care of yourself, the TWW is already stressful enough. And good luck!

[Ell493]

Thanks!