2ww - am I doing everything wrong? - Fertility Network UK

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2ww - am I doing everything wrong?

FindingFertility profile image
16 Replies

Hi,I had my FET 4 days ago and I'm now panicking that I've done everything wrong. The advice my clinic gave was to keep moving to get the blood flowing so I've been doing that every day by walking. Today I (slowly) walked up and down a bit of a hill and now I'm thinking I shouldn't have from what I'e been reading on here. I've also just been reading about people not twisting their bodies as there's a risk of ectopic pregnancy - I haven't been taking this into consideration at all with the way I sleep or sit on the sofa etc. I'm off work as my job is very stressful so that is one good thing. I caved in and ate 2 pieces of cake this weekend as I needed a treat so I feel extremely guilty now. Other than that I'm eating normally which is fruit/yoghurt/oats every morning, and my other meals usually involve veg and mostly wholegrain carbs and beans/chicken or something similar.

I keep reading so many posts about all the amazing things people are doing and I feel like I've not been doing any of that :(

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FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility
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16 Replies
raverg profile image
raverg

My opinion is that there's very little right now, good or bad, that you can do to affect this FET in either direction, so just live your life as normal and try to enjoy your time off. You feeling relaxed is probably the more important thing, and if you feel like you're getting stressed and anxious when you read what other people are doing, I would recommend taking a break from this forum for a bit.

People do those things because it helps them feel more relaxed and in control if they do more work, but for every bit of advice I read on here, there's just as many positive outcomes as there are negatives, so I believe it's all just random and down to the quality of the embryo probably. So I wouldn't beat myself up over it. At least that's the mindset I landed on after 2 transfers that both came out negative after me taking two completely different strategies.

One thing I could add is that you should totally live your life as normal and go on walks, do light exercise like yoga or swimming, but just don't exert yourself over what your body is used to, or to the point where you get all red and sweaty and your heart is racing. Going up and down a hill slowly is fine.

I'm not familiar with the body twisting leading to ectopic pregnancies. I haven't looked into it but I believe it's probably just anecdotal as otherwise NHS would tell you expressly not to do it. The only thing I can think of is that after a stim cycle your ovaries tend to get quite swollen and if you exert yourself too much, there's the risk of ovary torsion but that's probably not a concern during a FET, and not what you were worried about.

Either way, good luck and go do something fun! :) xx

FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility in reply toraverg

Thank you thank you thank you, that was just the most reassuring and realistic message I could have read when I was starting to spiral! I'm going to focus on it being down to the embryo quality and try and enjoy having this time off whatever the outcome xxx

orangecatmum profile image
orangecatmum

Hi love,

I think it sounds like you are looking after yourself really, really well. Two pieces of cake and a hill do not a failure make. Think about all the people who maintain a pregnancy after drinking alcohol, falling over (my sister once was cycling and flew over her handlebars and later found out she was pregnant - she now has a grumpy 15-year-old!), eating badly and everything in between. People who live in hilly locations still have babies too - if anything it may have done you some good ;)

Once that embryo is in, it's in, and from what I understand there isn't much you can do now to change the outcome either way.

I know how it feels to compare yourself to everyone (and me to you, I certainly haven't been as strict with my eating! I eat treats everyday, ha) but comparison is the thief of joy and sanity, so they say.

I'm not in my tww yet (egg collection is in a few days and FET in a few months' time) so I don't have experience to speak from but I have spent the past year of my 2.5 year TTC journey really researching and embedding myself in this world and sometimes becoming so paranoid I am doing everything wrong. The fact is - I wasn't, and neither are you. You're doing great. Do things you enjoy these next few weeks and wishing you so so much luck xx

FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility in reply toorangecatmum

This was so lovely to read, thank you so much for putting my mind at ease!! Also so glad your sister and her now 15-year-old were ok! Wishing you lots and lots of luck for your upcoming egg collection ❤️ xxxx

Kitkat10 profile image
Kitkat10

Don’t worry, I’m sounds like you are doing fine. I caught norovirus on day 7 post transfer and was really ill for 24 hours. I was convinced there was no way the little embryo could withstand that, but I’m now 25 weeks so honestly, very little you do influences what happens. Good luck xx

FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility in reply toKitkat10

Congratulations!! Phew that must have been scary, so so glad it worked out ☺️ thanks so much for the reassurance xxx

Choccywokky profile image
Choccywokky

hi there, I am 5 days post transfer and I feel like I am living on a tight rope of fear. Fear that I’m doing the meds wrong. You should be ok walking, as long as your not speed walking and breaking into a sweat and everything else, like diet is ok. If it makes you feel better, I scoffed my way through 2 M&S choc eclairs today, because I just craved them. Not had them for years

It’s really tough, I’m in the same boat. Take care x

FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility in reply toChoccywokky

Thank you and take care too xxx

Fruitandflowers profile image
Fruitandflowers

Echo what others have said - I've had five pregnancies in last 3 years (2 successful) and one BFN. Nothing I did or didn't do diet- or exercise-wise made any difference. I relaxed, ate well, took time off work and that one ended early, versus ate whatever I wanted, exercised, renovated a house and got pulled around by a massive puppy/dog (my first succesful FET was when I did all the latter things together!) My current pregnancy is natural for the first time ever and I was panicking because I had been having a very boozy month (which must have been over when I was unknowingly pregnant) and not even on any meds which I had believed were what had got and kept me pregnant first time. Doctor said very little reaches the embryo until the placenta takes over around 8 weeks and until then it's fed on yolk sac (and even after, not much gets through within reason). So the cake is just for you 😉 Re moving, yes there's a chance of ectopic with straining abdomen but my clinic said just keep doing what you do normally and if you exercise normally keep it up. It's about not putting sudden strain on it and even then how many women (like me!) don't know they're pregnant and so are spared that anxiety. Athletes get pregnant as long as they have periods and their bodies are just used to it. Walking and a bit of uphill will have increased blood flow to the uterus and been a good thing (and cake makes you happy, so ditto).

I'm not sure there's is even a perfect implantation diet which actually works or we'd all be on it. Most of it is about trying to establish control over what is ultimately out of our hands and if that works for you great. If not, go for seconds 😀

FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility in reply toFruitandflowers

Congratulations on your pregnancy, thank you so much for the advice ❤️ xxx

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2

people do what they want to do to feel like they are somehow ‘in control’ of what’s happening in the 2WW (myself included) but in reality unless you are out binge drinking and sky diving there is very little you can do to influence what happens. If the embryo is going to stick it’s going to stick!

I have had so many transfers I’ve lost count but I have had one successful pregnancy and I was holidaying the highlands for 5 days during the 2WW and we were out walking every day (visiting castles, lochs etc) and it’s not known for being all that flat 😂 I did also walk my springer spaniel every day too (including transfer day) although I did try and keep to slightly flatter ground where I could but like I said probably doesn’t matter though but it made me feel better as our dog would have me clinging onto rocks like a mountain goat if it were up to her 🫣🤭

We are out every night with n holiday and I had a calorie filled dessert every night. One night I even had a rose wine spritzer (was throwing people of the scent that I was trying again).

I’ve had transfers that I did everything ‘perfect’ that didn’t work and ive replicated what I did on my successful pregnancy when trying for a sibling and had a few miscarriages so I honestly don’t think it makes on bit of difference at all once the embryo is made and it’s transferred back, what will be will be and the best thing you can do is things that make you happy so you have lots of happy hormones running through your body 🤗💜

Best of luck to you both n your 2WW 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽xx

FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility in reply toTwiglet2

Thank you so much for your very wise words!! 😊xxx

ecoexplorer profile image
ecoexplorer

Hello I can only echo what others have said, 5 transfers down for me, none worked, but tried different things each time, some to give me control, some to make me happy. I've decided that for the next one I will try to forget all of the things apart from what the linic says, to set alarms so I don't worry about missing meds, and just to have a normal life if I want to, or hide under a blanket if that's what I feel like because that's the body saying it needs to rest and take stock so I am ready for which ever way it goes. Good luck, you are not alone.

FindingFertility profile image
FindingFertility

Sorry to hear you have had such a journey, that sounds like a great plan for next time. Thank you and wishing you lots of luck xxx

HollyT7 profile image
HollyT7

I ate terrible with my first frozen bfp transfer! Was convinced it hadn’t worked 🤣

TexasRose210 profile image
TexasRose210

I’ve had 2 positives. With my first transfer I did everything right and was extremely healthy. And with my 3rd transfer I indulged in not so healthy foods. I have two kids here today. I think you will be fine

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