Why won't my doctors let me give up on this pregnancy?

[LuxFleur]

Hi again, it's me, Bad News Betty.

So as some of you know, I had a BFP a few weeks ago but my HCG levels were a little low. Then they failed to double, then plateaued, and then started to go down slightly. The highest number I reached was only 322.

The clinic was worried that I might have an ectopic. I went for a scan last Wednesday (a week ago tomorrow) and the doctor said he saw a small sac, but did not even look for a heartbeat. I was six weeks.

Then today I went for another scan, and a different doctor (they are all rotating, as its vacation time I guess) said he could not see anything or any sign of a pregnancy. I am supposed to be 7 weeks tomorrow. We told him the other doctor had seen the sac, and he said he assumed that the other doctor had been wrong???

But then even he will not let me stop my progesterone injections????? He said that it was still possible that I had a viable pregnancy.

My last HCG test had already fallen to 218. There is either only something very small or nothing at all visible. Why won't they let me stop my injections and pessaries and accept the end of this pregnancy?

EDIT: Oh and the doctor today said that because I have had no bleeding, that I have not had a miscarriage????

[Red1985]

Hello, firstly I’m so very sorry you are having to go through this, it’s very very cruel journey

I too am going through a similar thing after 4 cycles and 5 transfers got a bfp only to go to viability scan at 7 weeks to find an empty sac, referred back to NHS as private clinic could do nothing, I have been going for scans each week and should be 11 weeks but as the clearly empty sac is growing they wouldn’t offer and treatment?! Finally they booked me for a D and C today and then cancelled on the morning due to staff shortages and now waiting for miscarriage to happen naturally?! Such a horrible position to be in

I pray you have the strength to get through this….I shall keep you in my prayers and thoughts….xxx

[LuxFleur in reply to Red1985]

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. It's so confusing, because they won't tell me that I do not have a chance. I keep asking and they won't say. Did they do the same to you? Thank you again xo

[Red1985 in reply to LuxFleur]

Hello, yes they did exactly the same to me! I’m no expert but even I could see on the scans the sac is completely empty nothing there but still they keep saying because it is growing there is a chance?! A chance if what I’m not sure as I should be 11 weeks so they should be a well developed baby by now !

It is so very frustrating, I have had natural miscarriage in the past so wanted to avoid that this time, but it seems even the miscarriage is a gruelling process as if we have not been through enough!

They seem to want us to suffer for longer rather than put us out of our misery! I understand your pain…xx

[Becatoms]

Oh I’m so sorry, this happened to me back in February.

After a frozen transfer I had a bfp. Went in to the IVF clinic for my 8 week scan to be told there was an empty sac. Heartbroken, I had to tell my husband who was waiting in the car as he wasn’t allowed in due to COVID restrictions.

I was sent that day straight to the early pregnancy unit for bloods and a second scan.

HCG was approx 3600, I had to repeatedly visit the EPU every third day for over two weeks to have bloods taken and scans as HCG was creeping up slowly.

The worry was that it was ectopic, or in an unknown location.

I too couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t just let me stop taking the meds, I knew it was over.

However as a profession, if there is slight doubt then they proceed with such caution. After 2 weeks I had a d&c.

Be kind to yourself during this time, it’s hard waiting.

Sending you all my love. xx

[Jrss1]

Aww LuxFleur, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It really is very cruel. I hope you are ok, thinking of you xx

[hodgeheg2]

I'm so sorry sweetheart, really feel for you and just don't understand what their goal with this is. My understanding is that high enough progesterone stops a bleed happening so basically wtf?!

Thinking of you xxx

[Lancal]

Oh goodness. What a horrid situation to be in. I’m so sorry.

[mandp82]

Hi, sorry you’re going through this. I had something similar earlier this year where they saw a sac at 5 weeks and then nothing at 6 weeks. mine turned out to be ectopic. i actually referred myself to the local EPU after the 5 week scan so perhaps you could try that. They are more used to dealing with these than your ivf clinic maybe. Hopefully it’s not ectopic but best to keep checking just in case.

I was in a lot of pain. have you been having any cramps?

Wishing you all the best.

[Char2383]

I’m so sorry to read this Lux, seriously I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. Sending you so much strength x x x

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi LuxFleur. I am so so sorry this is happening to you. If I am honest, the scan you had today has not reveled an ectopic pregnancy, or indeed a normal one, plus I would think you would be in pain by now, unless the little one stopped developing in the tube very early on. Your blood hCG is going down too, so my feelings are that you need to stop the progesterone to allow a bleed to occur. Obviously I can't see what the sonographer/nurse sees, but it's not looking hopeful..... Thinking of you. Diane xx

[Hidden]

I’ve had similar not with ivf but naturally I was nearly 9w I had asked the epu for an earlier scan as I had 2 prev mc they were reluctant as I had “only” 2 mc not 3 but I got it my hcg was 17500 they could see a sac but no yolk sac so thought it could be ectopic but thought prob not as I had no pain my hcg rose to 23500 over the week then I had to have another scan eventually they saw a teeny yolk sac the size of a seed then I had the wait another 2w to see progression I had bleeding on and off in them weeks but not miscarried yet. I had another scan then a mva so took over 3w from the first scan.

[AuroraXen]

Sorry Lux, I just saw this 😔 I can't believe you're still having to suffer this waiting game. It must be just awful. I know deep down you probably still have a tiny shred of hope, as I would in your case, purely BECAUSE the doctors are still playing it safe and making comments like (can't be a miscarriage, no bleeding'. But at the same time things are obviously not developing properly. And I can't imagine where that all leaves your poor head and heart. Sending you lots of love xx

[Capps8]

I’m sorry you are going through this. I am in a similar situation. I would be 9 weeks now but 7 and 8 week scans showed no heartbeat. Opposite to you my clinic said as there was no heartbeat it was now classed as a missed miscarriage.

I stopped progesterone and started bleeding within 4 days this week. Another scan today showed I haven’t passed yet though. The waiting is the worst. Sending prayers to you x