Final scan to confirm miscarriage

[Rol81]

I went back a 3rd time to confirm my miscarriage. Today I should have been 10 weeks pregnant 😞

Last week there has been some growth but no heartbeat , although they knew it was more than likely not a viability they asked me to come back again this week and as expected it wasn’t good news.

I stop progesterone and should start to bleed in the next 2 days. If I don’t bleed within a week , I need to go back to the clinic and they will give me medication to start the miscarriage.

I’m feeling very fed up and finding it hard to keep positive. But keep telling myself it is positive that I actually did get pregnant this time so I did get a step further and closer to my dream of having a baby .

I’m anxious to get the miscarriage over with now. We have decided we will try again . Probably in 3 months time to give my body time to recover . Or do I wait longer ? Will it affect the outcome if I start too soon?

Also this was my last nhs cycle so we will now have to self fund. I think I will just stay with the same clinic as they now know me, I’ve built a relationship with them and I’m scared to start all over again anyways, nevermind a whole new clinic and staff.

Or am I silly, should I try a private clinic? Will it really be much better?

Thanks to everyone so far who has answered any questions or given me words of encouragement etc

I really hope one day I’ll be writing a positive outcome . Trying not to give up hope, as it’s the only thing that keeps me going .

xx

[smarties85]

So sorry to hear your news.I hope you have support around you?or that it’s been offered to you?sending you love at this hard time ❤️ Xxx

[Rol81 in reply to smarties85]

Thank you. Xx

[HollyT7]

I'm so sorry you've had to experience this. we had an early loss and the aniexty for our next bfp stayed throughout.... but we got pregnant and baby is 14 months now. I can't say much to take away the grief/pain/unfairness but know that getting pregnant is a massive step, now your body knows how to do that, it can learn to keep it next time ❤️ xxxx

[Rol81 in reply to HollyT7]

Thanks Holly for your lovely message. So happy you have a baby now , congrats ❤️ How soon after did you try again?

[HollyT7 in reply to Rol81]

Ah thank you x

So we had our fresh transfer on the 27th April and the frozen started with consents 8th July, baseline 30th July and we had the transfer on the 20th August.

So it was...

Waited for the failed one to bleed out

Period

Period

Started on next period

I found the frozen process such a welcome one, I felt it was so much less intense! It felt like a gift in some ways, like sorry you've had a rough time... have a frozen transfer that's a little easier on you!

wishing you all the best, if you need to talk you can always pm me xxx

❤️

[Rol81 in reply to HollyT7]

Thanks for all the detail, good to know. Tbh I never get past 3 days so never make it to transfer or even one left over to freeze .

Maybe this time 🤞 will have a couple of weeks off and get back on the greens and supplements 🙄

Great to hear your positive story, thank you and everyone for taking the time to write xx

[HollyT7 in reply to Rol81]

Well maybe next time it will be your turn to be super lucky! xxx

[Rol81 in reply to HollyT7]

I hope so, thank you ❤️

[Sharon2000]

So sorry for your loss. Stay strong and positive ❤️❤️

[Rol81 in reply to Sharon2000]

Thanks xx

[Buisquits]

I am really sorry it happen to you. You do need time to recover, mentally and physically. Take one day at the time and see how you feel. It was not easy to move on for me. Our clinic is great and we are sticking with them, but it never hurts to shop around I guess?

[Rol81 in reply to Buisquits]

Thanks. I will have a look but I think I’ll just stick with them. They are close by and they did get me pregnant. I just need the next one to stick! Thanks xxxx

[Purpledoggy]

So sorry for this sad outcome. I hope all goes OK for you over the next couple of weeks so it is as painless as possible. Xx

[Rol81 in reply to Purpledoggy]

Thank you. I’m not sure what to expect. I get terrible periods as I have adenemyosis and endometriosis , not sure I can cope with anything more painful 🤞 hopefully quick and not too painful ❤️

[Purpledoggy in reply to Rol81]

Sending you hugs xx

[keepfaith1982 in reply to Rol81]

Im so sorry to hear this it’s mentally and physically awful to go through. Everything crossed for you that all works out - stay strong. May I ask if you have a low AMH? I suffer from endometriosis and my AMH is very low with a high FSH and the NHS wouldn't even treat me x

[Rol81 in reply to keepfaith1982]

I need to retest my amh but I think it was low. I need to check it along with my fsh, it was all checked at the beginning so I was a bit new to everything and didn’t really know what it all meant . X

[keepfaith1982 in reply to Rol81]

Best of luck on your journey thank you for getting back xx

[Rol81 in reply to Rol81]

How low is your AMH?

[TrendyDove]

Oh darling! I'm so so sorry you are going through this. We had a miscarriage at 8 weeks last year and it was the hardest thing we have ever had to deal with but as you said it is good that you managed to fall pregnant. Stay strong! Our dream baby will come! Xxx

[Rol81 in reply to TrendyDove]

I’m so sorry for your loss, It’s horrible isn’t it. Just takes so long to get to this point and to be taken away . I was 40 this year so time isn’t on my side but I’ll keep going till I cant 🤞

[TrendyDove in reply to Rol81]

I am also 40 this year so I completely understand the feeling. You hear about people falling pregnant every day, prefect pregnancies with no issues and healthy babies, and for us things just get harder and harder... So grateful for all the amazing women in this forum who are always here to support eachother and make us realise we are not alone. You are stronger than you can imagine and you will be ready to start fighting for your dreams again in no time xxx

[Rol81 in reply to TrendyDove]

You’re so right, and great to know I’m not alone. I wish everyone on here so much happiness . I know I’ll get through this and I’ll try again , it’s just the waiting and time is all takes.

Thank you. ❤️

[Ariel_the_mermaid]

Am so sorry chicken! You have been though so much… take care of each other, thinking of you xxx

[Rol81]

Thank you. You too . Really hope we get to have a better outcome soon xxx

[RecipIVF]

Sending you lots of love xxx

[Rol81 in reply to RecipIVF]

Thank you. Same to you x

[gianna83]

I am so sorry. I,too,suffered a mmc,two failed fets and then a third transfer gave me my baby boy.So,don't despair!I can't advise you on the clinic but please,don't make the same mistake that i did:After the mmc,i kept postponing ivf and i wasted precious time (9 months or so!).Grieve,cry and then get the ball rolling asap.

[Rol81 in reply to gianna83]

Hello , I’m so sorry all you went through but delighted to hear you now have a baby. I will message you privately maybe in a couple of days . Any advice is always welcome . Thank you for replying x

[gianna83 in reply to Rol81]

Message me any time you want!xxx!

[Nmhbaxy]

I’m so sorry for you, been thinking of you, sending you lots of love and hope your recovery goes as well as can be. You are totally right, you are one step closer ❤️

[Keepingitquiet]

I am so sorry to hear about your news. I had a FET in February and became pregnant. Long story short it was a blighted ovum or anembryonic pregnancy where the gestational sac was growing but the foetus wasn’t growing inside. I had to go in about 3 times for them to confirm it and it was the hardest thing ever. Just the limbo of feeling pregnant, but not being pregnant and having to wait and wait, so you can’t move on or do the things that may make you feel better. It’s very hard. I was given the option straight away of taking the medication or have a D&C procedure. Could you ask for them to do this for you rather than making you wait, that just seems cruel to me?

I have just had another FET on 30th June, and am technically pregnant But have started spotting again 😔 I think this one is going to same way as the last, but this time my clinic won’t scan me until 7 weeks which is 2nd August, so I feel like I am in that limbo period again.

I think physically you can easily go through this again in a couple of months, but I guess the important question is whether emotionally and mentally you can do it. I am glad I have gone through it again but it chips away at you each time. I am questioning about whether I go through this again so soon or whether to wait a little longer this time.

I hope it all passes quickly for you, and I wish you every ounce of baby dust so that you get your happy ending next time xxx

[Rol81 in reply to Keepingitquiet]

I am so sorry for what you’ve already gone through and thank you for replying. Yes the been in limbo for the last few weeks was crap but I knew in my heart .

They haven’t offered any medical assistance , I need to wait a week which is tough.

I wish you so much luck on the 2nd . Don’t think past the test day yet, I’ve learned to take it one day at a time and every cycle is different so I really hope you get a positive result. Xxxx

[Sparklylife]

I am so sorry for your loss Xx

[Daughterofaking]

I'm sorry to hear this. You are so brave to share your experience as this will help you to heal quickly and prepare you for the best. Take heart be strong and believe you will get your miracle baby. Wish you all the best. xx

[Rol81 in reply to Daughterofaking]

I hope one day I will be writing a positive outcome and that my story will give someone else hope . Thank you for your message x

[Hidden]

I am very sorry for your loss. I had 4 miscarriages in a roll and to tell you the truth tried when you feel comfortable and cope with the loss. Sorry to ask but did you had any symptom of miscarriage? My all 4 was before 8 weeks and was silent miscarriages. I thought everything was fine and was not. Very sorry for you! Hugs for you ! I am also 41 so the clock is ticking!

[Rol81 in reply to Hidden]

I’m really sorry to hear you had 4, that scares the hell out of me that thought of 4. I didn’t have any bleeding or anything, just that I felt very pregnant with the classic nausea and sore boobs and then one day nothing.

The clock is defo ticking but I’m not giving up yet , hope we both get our dream baby . Wishing you so much luck xx

[Hidden in reply to Rol81]

Thank you ! I am not giving up yet either! Good luck to all of us! Still hoping for a dream baby!

[Jumpppy]

Such sad news If someone hasn't mentioned it, you should request testing of the tissue. If no genetic abnormalities are found there maybe other issues that they can treat. Not every MC is due to the embryo. You don't want to go through this again if there is something they can treat.

Hope everything goes smoothly...

XOXO

[Rol81 in reply to Jumpppy]

Thank you. Xxxx

[SANDIEGO_Life]

So sorry to hear about your loss 😔 I can feel you how disheartening it is as and staying positive is so difficult. Sending your hugs. This was my second transfer and and they are suspecting ectopic . I am so scared even if they rule out ectopic is it gonna be viable or not 😢.

[Rol81 in reply to SANDIEGO_Life]

Thank you for your message. I really hope you will be ok and wish you loads of luck xxx

[sunset212]

So sorry to read your about your miscarriage. They are devastatingly sad. i sympothise greatly as before i finally had my son, i suffered a missed miscarriage at 7 weeks which i found deeply upsetting too. On a positive note, you have shown you can get pregnant! An embryo has implanted so it can happen again. It's likely it was a chromosomal error in the fetus. That was what i was told. My son who was conceived via FET IVF instead of my IUI cycle happened 11 months later when i gave up with IUI's. The doctors at the time said it used to be advised to wait 3-6 months after a miscarriage but now providing you have a normal period after a complete miscarriage, you can start within a month or two again. Quick question - does your clinic use Embryoscope Timelapse imaging of your embryos in the lab. My clinic in Liverpool uses it at no extra cost, some do charge but in my opinion it is well worth it should you decide to switch clinic. If you look up time lapse imaging it will explain in greater detail, but essentially it takes a picture of the embryo's development every 10 minutes by camera in an undisturbed manner ( this provides the embryologist a great deal of information about the cell division and timeline it reaches these divisions and potentially provide the embryologist a tool in which to select the healthiest and strongest embryo etc) . In the meantime take some time to heal and look after you. And as hard as it is try not to think over this time mourn it and of course you will never forget it but put in a special memory box and think about the baby that is just around the corner waiting to be implanted and your next cycle xxx

[Bella_Bee]

I'm so very sorry. I've been where you are and my heart goes out to you. As you asked for views, here is mine. If I were you, I'd change clinic. Start fresh. New people, new experience, new ideas. Maybe a different protocol, a different approach. I went from no day 5 embryos from IVF round one to 7 day 5 embryos, one used for fresh transfer, the rest frozen. I know it can be daunting but if you're paying, go get the best. I love the NHS, don't get me wrong, but now you've tried it, try something else. You get used quickly to new people and most private clinics are supremely friendly and open (money talks!). That's just my view. Best of luck for the future and I'm so sorry again. Xoxo