It took a long time for someone to take us seriously

[MammaMia86]

Hello,

I am new to the community but I am not new to the feeling of wanting to conceive and not being able to.

I think this first post is a way to vent about what we have been going through for a few years now.

Honestly, the first time I felt like going to the gynecologist and expressing my concern because we had been trying for several years but it wasn't happening, it was horrible. This happened about 4 years ago and to this day it still hurts me how he looked at me and made me feel. When I said that we were not able to get pregnant, the first and only thing he told me was that it was my weight. I was overweight at the time and I admit that I should lose weight but it was the fact that he was not able to think that there may be other factors in both male and female infertility.

It made me feel like a failure, as a woman, as a mother-to-be, it made me feel a sense of shame that took me a while to overcome.

After the anger I decided to start losing weight and I have lost 30kg. During this time we kept trying but nothing was happening and when I had lost 20kg or so I went back to another gynecologist who told me I had POCS. He sent me some vitamins and told me that in 6 months I would be pregnant. Of course it was not so, so we went again and they sent tests to my husband, where we saw that there were problems of sperm motility. they sent him other vitamins, which of course did not help, although they were expensive. We went to another doctor who ordered tests for both of us again and the results were the same. Unfortunately Covid arrived and everything stopped. I went back to another gynecologist who guided me as no other gynecologist had done and finally we have been able to start the journey with a team that gives us security and things seem to be moving.

I wish that first doctor would have said that apart from losing weight I am going to do some studies to eliminate possible factors. This would have allowed us to start a long time ago and we wouldn't have felt that we had wasted our time beating around the bush.

I suppose that as we go forward I will write more but I thank you because reading your experiences (good and bad) makes this process easier because I don't feel alone.

[Beclp]

Hi Mumma Mia. So sorry to hear about your experiences.Is just so sad that you were treated this way by the medical team that should have been supporting you on what is an already extremely emotional journey.

I’m glad to hear your on the right path now 🙌🙌

I really hope that it all works well and you get your precious baby 💕

IVF is definitely a roller coaster but I know lots of people where it has worked first go 👍 good luck!

[MammaMia86 in reply to Beclp]

Thanks for your support it is for sure a roller coaster.

I usually try to take it one day or one test at the time. But I am happy we are finally able to move forward

[McQueeny]

That’s tough and unfair, I’m sorry you had to go through that…. Glad you’re finally in the right path and found a team who are giving you the right care and advice! Good luck and keep strong 😊 x

[Sunshine809]

We found exactly the same - we went to the doctor to tell them we had been struggling to conceive and then we were passed from pillar to post doing tests and seeing various doctors, and it seemed to take forever to actually get to the point of seeing the fertility consultant and being told we could now begin IVF. As a women I was very aware that every month my eggs were getting older, and we lost over 2 years from the time we first went to the doctor to starting IVF. We've now had two failed cycles and I've been told it's because my eggs are old 🙄☹ Very frustrating!!

I'm so pleased that things are happening for you now and I really hope you get a positive result soon! 🤞🏻 It's such a relief to be progressing isn't it. Hopefully everything will run smoothly for you now. All the best! 🍀😊

[MammaMia86 in reply to Sunshine809]

In a way I find a bit of relief to find other people experiencing same situations because sometimes I feel like an idiot, as it took too long for us to put our foot down. And on the other side is so sad that there are so many people going through this thing.

I like to read the happy endings from other people because it gives me hope. So hopefully you and many others will be able to share that with all of us.

Thanks for your support

[Sunshine809 in reply to MammaMia86]

Thank you. We found it so hard to put our foot down because we were NHS so basically it took as long as it took. I wish I'd been hassling them a bit more though to try and get an earlier appointment due to a cancellation or whatever. Plus I felt vulnerable because it was all new to me and we felt like we have to trust the doctors and they knew what they were doing....

I like seeing the happy endings too. I hope to see yours very soon 😊