Sadly a bfn for us : Yesterday I... - Fertility Network UK

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Sadly a bfn for us


Yesterday I started spotting with period like cramps and today a have full af. We did a test today and it was negative which I was expecting but doesn't make it easier. I'm devastated and have had to come home from work as all got too much. Our officially test day is tomorrow at 11dp5dt but we used a a first response early test so it would have picked up anything today.

Thank you to all the lovely ladies who have supported me over the last few weeks. I'm not sure at the moment whether we're going to try another cycle as we need to have a frank and honest discussion with our consultant about my ability to conceive and carry a baby given the scarring to my uterus. We know we had an excellent embryo. Hubby and I had a good chat this morning although far too soon to make any decisions about going straight to adoption instead. We want a family and whatever way we have to get there we'll take. Neither of us are getting any younger and my amh and scarring will only get worse with time. In the mean time we need to get back to the fun of trying naturally as life has been so serious for so long x

28 Replies

So sorry to hear that, bfn's are rubbish. Look after yourselves xx

Hidden in reply to Hidden

Thank you xx

So sorry for your bfn xx

Hidden in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you x

So sorry for you, I know how devastating bfn's are (as do most of us here) and it's so hard especially after what you've already been through.

Just noticed you are 39, me too and hubby and I are also considering adoption now. It's early days on this topic for us and we can't say it doesn't scare us but we also want to be a family and feel we haven't got too much time to mess about. We've agreed to start doing some research, possibly attend information sessions on adoption and take it from there.

Lots of luck to you whatever you decide, enjoy a break off the rollercoaster and take time to heal and have fun. Keep us posted xx

Hidden in reply to Georgina78

We feel the same about not having much time. Don't want to mistaken for the grandma at the school gate 😬 we have spoken about adoption before and have always agreed it was our plan b but thought we'd try ivf first. We're going to attend an information evening on 9th August just to have a chat and have asked for some info to be sent to us. We aren't allowed to start the process until six months after our last fertility treatment so at the moment just want as much information as possible on all our options. Most of our lives together has been hospital appointments and operations and just feel enough is enough x

Georgina78 in reply to Hidden

I hope your first steps go well and you can make an informed decision after the info that with a particular agency/local authority? It's all new & alien to me so we're not even sure where to start but an information evening would be very helpful in getting us started and helping us decide if it's 100% right for us.

I know about the 6 month period and that's absolutely fine, i think we probably all need that time to grieve.

Lots of luck xx

Really sorry you had this news.

Lots of love xx

Hidden in reply to Mrsgled1982

Thank you. Are you feeling any better? X

Mrsgled1982 in reply to Hidden

A little. My sister comes to the rescue with chocolate lol x

So sorry to hear your outcome!xx

Hidden in reply to Cinderella5

Thank you x

i'm really sorry for your loss. it's a devastating end to such an intense process.

having fun again sounds like a plan - be silly, get drunk & try to remember what life was like before all this shite!

take care of each other. sending big hugs x

Hidden in reply to -noodles-

Thanks. I think I'd be drunk on half a shandy nowadays so at least I'm a cheap date x

I am so very sorry to hear this sad news. Take care of yourself sending big hugs xxxx

Hidden in reply to bluewanderlust

Thank you x

Sorry about ur out come. Sending u lots of love 😘

Hidden in reply to nikki85xx

Thank you x

I am so sorry to read this! Please look after yourself and I think it is immensely encouraging that, despite your grief, you are thinking ahead. A courageous thing to do xx

Hidden in reply to CountryCat

I have to do or I'd just sit and cry and feel sorry for myself x

So sad to read this 💔thinking of u and hubby x

So sorry to hear your news, look after each other x

So sorry to hear this, it's always duch a disappointment when you hang on to that tiny bit of hope.

Big hugs and good luck with whatever you decide to do next x

Sorry to hear your sad news. Hope you're ok. Sending hugs xx

Thinking of you. Keep having hope for which ever path you choose. Hope is what keeps us all going xx

Sorry to hear this x

So sorry to read this, this journey is just heartbreaking at times xxx


So sorry about your BFN there just so cruel, take care of yourselfs xx

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