Just venting / letting my feelings out - Fertility Network UK

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Just venting / letting my feelings out

Endwarrior profile image
13 Replies

I am sorry if my post would bother anyone but i just wanted to talk about everything that is happening ... after getting a positive result and thinking my ivf journey will soon end i had a missed miscarriage , i am so depressed and hurt and i can’t even think that i am going to start all over again from scratch , and with no guarantees again . I feel like being a mom is a dream i am loosing over time , not only i have to endure endometriosis pains also it affected my fertility , endometriosis literally ruined my life , my love for life .. why this journey has to be this hard ? Why we are always forced to stay strong and convince ourselves that life is good when it’s not ... i am sorry my post is negative but i am emotionally traumatized from what happened with me one day i was super happy the next i woke up and everything was taken away from me .

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Endwarrior profile image
Endwarrior
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13 Replies
Kiri23 profile image
Kiri23

I’m so sorry about your missed miscarriage. IVF is such a rollercoaster of emotions. You should definitely express how you feel as when I bottle up my feelings, it gets to me more. You also need to be kind to yourself. In life we go through ups and downs and it is unfair we have to go through this particular journey but you’re not alone. We are all in the same boat. I would suggest going for some counselling or talking to someone you trust about how you feel. It’s so much to process and you have been through so much. Sending you hugs, please do look after yourself. You're so brave and you are strong x

Endwarrior profile image
Endwarrior in reply to Kiri23

Thank you so much , i am waiting for my husband to come be is out of the country on business , i find him the only person i can throw my emotions on .. i was really sad cz i had a natural miscarriage at home it was painful and i was alone . To be honest i can’t handle peoples opinions when someone says to you it will happen , or this is god’s will or you can’t stay depressed all ur life because no one can know the amount of sadness we carry along

Kiri23 profile image
Kiri23 in reply to Endwarrior

I think it’s hard to understand sometimes unless you go through it yourself. Please make sure you have someone else you can talk to until your husband is back. You’re more than welcome to message me any time and there’s always someone here who can relate to what your going through. Keep that chin up x

Marisa32 profile image
Marisa32 in reply to Endwarrior

Sorry you had to go through this. I had a missed MC last year and it sucked. Just know that you are not alone. I hear you on the "it will happen" and "God's plan" crap, it annoys me to no end. The fact of the matter is that this is all a crap shoot and there is no secret masterplan, it's just dumb luck sometimes. And not much you can do about it. It will hurt for some time, so be good to yourself.

angeln profile image
angeln

Am so sorry 😞 can’t start to imagine how you feel,this journey is so tiring and emotional ,not knowing what to expect but rather keep on pushing and not giving up..my thoughts are with you. You are stronger than you know...just be around someone you can talk to and let it all out, i find also being alone more stressful with thoughts.And we are always here for you to listen too. Hugs

Endwarrior profile image
Endwarrior in reply to angeln

Thank you so much , it is indeed very stressful i had to miscarry at home alone . My husband is flying in on Monday and i have never been more excited for anything in my life , i can’t wait to cry in his arms and i am so glad i have this forums i feel we are sisters here all of us even if we don’t know each other but the support i get from and the positive stories also give me hope

angeln profile image
angeln in reply to Endwarrior

For sure having your partner to lean on too plays a big part..am glad too to have found this forum, really helps.it did help me too when i had a failed first cycle ,was hard . Now on my second ...talking about it all here and seeing you aint alone give you strength and hopes.

BECIO profile image
BECIO

Hello endwarrior can’t even imagine going through that. I have just had a failed first cycle and can understand some of those feelings. Feel so sad and stupid for being hopeful and positive. I have a fibroid and Adenomyosis and had almost constant cramps and pains during stims, after transfer snd then in TWW. Now my period has started and have cramps again, feels never ending!! I feel some days a bit better but some days worse. I have been trying to think about he the positives in my life like my partner and friends and family which helps a bit! You’ve been through a lot but you will recover. Hope you find your warrior strength to keep coming! Lots of love and strength xx

Endwarrior profile image
Endwarrior in reply to BECIO

Thank you for your kind words . I am so sorry your cycle did not work , but you hold on to high hopes , the first cycle is the leadt guaranteed i had 3 cycles and last one ended in mmc unfortunately and every time i feel i am able to endure more than before .. i truly believe fertility struggles give us a weird strength that no journey will give and we kinda need this strength to carry on . Sending you lots of love and hope your future round will be the one

Ivferrr profile image
Ivferrr

You are incredible for how you have fought and loved in this journey. Sending prayers, love, and honoring your journey.

Endwarrior profile image
Endwarrior in reply to Ivferrr

Thank you so much you ladies are all amazing

Patches86 profile image
Patches86

Just sending some love your way. This process can feel like never ending torture. Hopefully your time for happiness is around the next corner x

Fertilityjourney profile image
Fertilityjourney

Hi there. I am sorry for your loss. And sending you lots of love and strength. Xx

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