Over 40 success

[Emska77]

Hello lovely people, not posted in a long time but fancied dropping a message on here today.

Is it me or are more women than ever falling pregnant over 40? Seemingly without help?

I see Alex Jones from the One Show, is now expecting her third at 44! I’m happy for her but sadly jealous too 😔 I just think why not me. She is so lucky and also didn’t start having children until she was 40, and soon she will be a Mother of 3.!

I know it’s futile to compare myself to someone like that but I can’t help it. I turned 44 a couple of weeks ago and have stopped going down the IVF route as we just can’t afford another round. I thought I had gotten over it and was coming to terms with not being a Mother but I’m not certain.. I think my only real option now would be donor eggs in a year or 2 when we can afford it again, but still not sure how we feel about that.. I still hope for a miracle I guess.

Anyway, enjoy the sunshine if you are lucky to see some today, love to all xxx

[Sunshine1910]

Hi Emska77. I’m just on my first round of IVF, will be 41 in May. I can understand your feeling that way. I have already made the decision that if this doesn’t work for me with my own eggs I will use donor eggs. I’m sure all of of us would prefer our own eggs, but I think in reality a donor egg, (which had such good success rates) would be just as wonderful. My niece is adopted and I can tell you I have just the same love for her as my other niece, and my sister definitely loves her adopted daughter as much as any mother could love a child. So don’t be down at the thought of a child from a donor egg- if you go down that route it will be wonderful. X

[Sunshine1910 in reply to Sunshine1910]

I also wouldn’t assume all of these women are not having help. I’d say it’s highly probable they are conceiving via IVF, and a lot with donor eggs, they just don’t share that info.

[Hidden]

I just turned 44 a few weeks ago too! And after six rounds of IVF have had to admit defeat. I am considering donor eggs. Like you some days I think I am fine with the idea of not having children and have been doing loads of reading up on it with self help books etc but other days like today it just makes me so sad. You are a much nicer person than me, I just feel so jealous and so angry its not me but yet it works for everyone else. I really hope karma brings you the baby you deserve as you are clearly a lovely person xx

[emma2739]

Hi Emska77 I really really empathise with you. The journey we are on makes it seem like everyone else just decides to get pregnant and heh presto suddenly they have a six month old and we feel like another year has passed and we are still waiting for our miracle. A friend of mine had two beautiful baby girls (same donor so genetic siblings) over a four year period starting when she was 42 using donor eggs and when I turned 40 I decided I would try this route as I just wanted to be a Mum and at that stage honestly nothing else mattered. I’m 44 this year just had a frozen embryo transfer for number 2 and I’m a mum of a one year old boy who is the center of my world. I am endlessly grateful for him every day. When he arrived I’ll be honest I did struggle with feelings of whether he would be more like my husband than me and what traits he would have but as the days passed I just fell so head over heels that he just became mine and actually the donor element almost feels like a blessing as we are just so intrigued to see his little personality coming out bit by bit without having to declare who he takes after! I can only tell you my experience but I feel I can be pretty confident and say that you will never look back and regret using a DE if it works. I wish you the very best of luck. Xx

[Kmcdon]

Emska77 I was exactly the same when I heard the news! Happy but sad. It’s alright for her! It makes me feel quite bitter as some of us are just wanting one child and she conceived 3 in that time! Life can be very cruel.

I’m 44 too and I’m have had 4 unsuccessful rounds of IVF. It’s a lot to put your body through both physically and emotionally. I have decided, with ever decreasing returns with my own eggs (last round I had nothing)no to transfer) that I’m going to try with DE. I am (hopefully !) going to a Spanish clinic in July. It works with my clinic in the U.K. so can have scans etc here.

I would suggest you take a bit of time, if you are going to use DE there isn’t as much time pressure. In the meantime you never know, maybe with the pressure off you will get your miracle. Fingers crossed and sending love and hope.

On the other hand it’s ok to decide that it stops here. You can still have an amazing and full life without being a parent. You have to decide what is right for you.

Take care xxx