Hi... we have recently had an unsuccessful cycle of IVF after ttc for 2 and half years 😞
I had to have fibroids removed a year ago and was positive with the hope that they were the reason we were unable to conceive.
I'm older than the average IVF candidate and was just wondering if there is anyone over 40 on this journey.
We are deciding if we should have another try at it but we will again be funding the 2nd cycle ourselves but I'm starting to give up hope and wondering if there's any point 😢
I'm 40 and have just had my 1st round cancelled due to no response to stimulation. Was a complete surprise cos my AMH is 24 and I massively responded to Clomid.
Its defo harder being this age and knowing that everyone else at least has time on their side. Constantly told as well that the chances of success are so much lower.
I am going for another cycle but just waiting for my period. I'm a Brit in New Zealand and have to pay for everything cos you wait 5 years here to get funding if unexplained infertility and they don't fund over 40.
Hi Mantaray75...
Your AMH is 24, that's amazing!!! It's very strange that you didn't respond, I'm sure your next round will go to plan.
Gosh, New Zealand is a little harsh with their 5 year wait policy 😁
It's such a strain financially when you have to fund yourself but it's just something that needs to be done... At least we can say we tried.
Our 1st cycle went really well and our embryo was Class A Grade 1 but it just didn't choose to implant. We were really shocked as we were soooo positive that it would work. We are still undecided about trying again 😞
Anyway... hopefully you'll be starting your next cycle in the next week or so... I wish you every success
Mai xx
Hi Mai. Just wanted to wish you well with whatever you do decide to do. If it will help, I do have a list of questions you might like to go through before attending another consultation. It is too long to add here, but if you email in confidence to dianearnold@infertilitynetworkuk.com I will send it to you. Diane
Hi Diane...
Thank you so much, that would be a God send!! I always go to my consultations not knowing what to ask and the minute I leave say "I wish I'd asked him...." Lol.
I will contact you via email shortly
Mai x
I am over 40 (but don't look it), soon to be 44 and from what I believe a lot of women over this delicate age tend to go for donor eggs as there is a much higher percentage rate of it working - I think about 65%. I am about to go for this myself!
I've just had 3 rounds of IUI and the percentage rate of it working was about 12%, even though I feel sad that it didn't work, going by the stats I guess its no wonder why it didn't. Saying that my sister in law had 5 rounds of IVF which failed and then she became pregnant naturally at 46!
Good luck x
Hi Distinction72...
I'm 44 already but like you don't look it... and definately don't feel it. My husband has just turned 40 so I bagged myself a toyboy haha!!!
We met 8 yrs ago and have be married for almost 3 and have been ttc since our wedding.
You assume it will be something that will happen without any issues... but it doesn't 😢
So sorry you IUI's weren't successful. It's so heartbreaking when you assume everything will go swimmingly with a lil help from the fertility crew and it doesn't. But we still have to remain positive.
We are thinking about a second round of IVF (financially it will be a struggle) and have thought about IUI and even adoption!! But I still have high hopes that I will fall pregnant by a miracle. My 43 year old friend fell pregnant naturally after trying for a couple of years but even she said it was a little hit and miss regarding sex with her partner!! I guess she just got lucky... but me and hubby are at it ALL THE TIME... It's exhausting 😒😂
The story of your sister in law has also given me fresh hope.
I wish you all the best with your egg donor cycle... I pray you will get your bundle of joy 💞
When do you start?? Have you found your donor yet??
Mai xx
Lucky you for having a a partner, I've not been so lucky with mine - hence donor sperm!
I was due to see the consultant next week to start the treatment with donor eggs and sperm but the hospital cancelled it today so need to wait until 11 April now.
Sometimes there can be a wait for donor eggs, depending on who they have on their listing and whether anyone else is waiting for a similar person.
Cx
Hi MaiLei
I am 44 and on this journey. I just had my 1st failed natural IVF cycle. Had no eggs in the follicles so unfortunately didnt make it to transfer. Bit at a loss as to what to do also and wonder what I did to deserve my journey to be so difficult to compared to all my friends and family. We have our consultation wednesday to discuss the disappointing outcome we just had but I am pretty sure the doctor will say donor egg is the next option.Again I know that this can also fail so it is hard to know the right decision to make specially when theres only so much money in the pot.
Im afraid I don't have any words of wisdom to help you make the right decision as still so new to this process myself but I wish you all the luck in the world.
Keep us posted on what you decide x
Hi 72Cloud9...
I'm so sorry they were unable to collect any eggs from your first cycle.
Your exactly the same age as me and my doctors originally said donor eggs would be the best option but I just had to try with my own first or I would have been saying "What if..." For the rest of my life!!
We are still undecided on our next step, just taking a little time out for US right now... But we understand the clock is ticking!!
How long have you been trying??? It's almost 3 years for us 💞
I hope all goes well on Wednesday... Please let me know how you get on.
Mai xx
Hi Mai
Isn't it a difficult emotional time we find ourselves in? So you already had 1 IVF? Do u know what your AMH is? Mines so low so I guess I should have known the outcome.
I think that we will probably give it the summer to make a decision if donor egg is our only option now-we will find out 2moro. I wonder if I'm doubting that route, do I maybe not want it enough. I'm really questioning myself right now.its such a huge decision!!
Yes I would say we were actively trying for about 3 years with a miscarriage 2 years ago 😢 -I was so convinced I would get pregnant again!!
Did u ever consider adoption? It's something I would like to do but my partner won't even discuss it. I'm thinking now at my age we wouldn't get a baby now anyway.
I'll let you know what they say 2moro
Xxxx
Yes, we had our 1st failed cycle in November!! Our lil embie was of excellent grade and class... But it just didn't implant. It was really hard to deal with as you automatically think that it's a definite you'll get a BFP because all the hard work has been done for you. But it just wasn't meant to be on that occasion I guess!!
I had my AMH done about a year ago and it was 2.5. My consultant said that this was very good for my age but still low.
Yes we have also thought about donor eggs and although my husband is happy to try, like you... I have my reservations!! Although I would have carried the baby, it would be his biological child... But not mine and I'm not sure how I would cope with that long term!!
So sorry to hear about your miscarriage, how far along were you?? Don't give up trying though, if it happened once it can definately happen again.
Are you tracking your temperature daily and doing ovulation tests??
Yes, we have also thought of adoption, and planned to apply before we even considered IVF. But my husband has now gone cold on the idea. I think he just wants to have a child that WE created to call OURS... and I can't fault him for that 💞
Mai xx
Oh I'm sorry it didn't work out 4 u.its so disappointing to be so near yet so far. My AMH roughly same as yours when tested October.it was 6.7 roughly 2 years b4 that so has decreased at quite a pace.
Yeah now my partner is also saying he's not sure about donor but I'm not sure if that's bcos of my doubts.
When I miscarried I was 7 weeks so relatively early but the pain was horrendous but it did have us convinced that I could fall pregnant so not to go with the IVF just yet at that point.
I was tracking temps for 3-4 months bit found that quite stressful & it kept telling me my pattern was erratic which stressed me even more.the ovulation sticks I use do indicate I'm ovulating & the doctor tested me 3 months on the trot just b4 Xmas and I ovulated every month.
do u think then if you don't fall pregnant u would still look at other options or do u think now that it's a case of if it can't be both of yours biologically then you may not? It's so hard to know the right thing to do.
If you do try another own eggs cycle I wish u all the best.fingers crossed for a successful treatment!! Xxxx
Sooo... Basically as we expected. They haven't refused to try another own eggs cycle but have really stressed that given the disappointing results with this attempt, the chances of success are so low at less than 5% where with donor egg it jumps up to 60%. We haven't got a bottomless pot so although my heart would try again, my head tells me we need to be sensible or we could blow the chance of any kind of options.
We are going to take advantage of the free councelling as my OH still not really opening up about it. I've basically been told I can't have my own kids and we have not spoken about it since we came out of the clinic!! I feel a bit like as we had been warned this was the likely scenario, everyone is expecting me to just be ok about it.
I really don't know what I want now made more tricky by not really knowing what he wants. I guess at least the donor route, we can take the summer to mull over as if my eggs are not in the equation, time is not such a factor.
One thing the doctor said to me is that out of all the women she's treated, not one lady has ever said, this baby does not feel like mine. She also told me to look at the donor conception network for stories, support etc.
Feel a bit the last few days as if I'm in denial-unusually calm.this just wasn't sposed to be my story and I think I still haven't quite accepted that sadly it is x
Hi sorry to hear your struggling. Have a look on you-tube about donor conception children and parents using donor eggs it really help me understand and see it in a different more postive light X
I'll definitely do that, thanks x
Blooming heck 72cloud9...
60% chance with donor eggs??? I didn't realise the chances would increase so much 😁😁
I feel like I'm in the same position as you... Not quite knowing 100% where my husband stands.
I was trying to feel him out the other day and I asked him if his need to be a father again (he has a 13 year old son who lives with us) was strong enough to re-mortgage our house and he immediately said "oh no... definately not!!!!!"
I know how ur feeling at the mo tho Hun... Didn't think this would be my struggle at all!! We take sooooo much for granted.
I remember meeting my hubby at age 36 and saying I wasn't going to have a baby for him before we got married as I wanted to do it the "proper Christian way" I wouldn't mind but I'm not even a practising Christian 😂😂
Wish I hadn't been so moral now, as I may not have been in this position 6 or 7 years ago 😁😁
Every month is so intense though... Constantly knicker watching when your due on... Convinced you COULD be pregnant!!
AF is due tomorro so sorry for the rant... It's all too much at times 😥
Mai xx
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