BFN- OTD tomorrow

[TheFoxes]

I have been up since 4am and taken 2 tests and it’s a BFN. I am 10dp5dt today and I have to go for my bloodtest tomorrow. I am so gutted. I am doing IVF because we are a same sex couple. I have high AMH and am pretty healthy in general. I know it sounds a bit silly but I had honestly never considered that it wouldn’t work. I just assumed it would. I have many many friends who have had IVF and they have all, without fail, got pregnant on their first try. Many friends who got pregnant on their first try of IUI or even just through the DIY syringe method (we tried this with a friend but it didn’t work). Many friends who had diagnosed fertility issues who still got pregnant on their first round. I know everyone on here will think this but it’s just leaves me thinking “why not me?” “What’s wrong with me?”. It seems like there is probably an issue with my egg quality- I am 36. I went with ABC because we thought I was a straightforward case, but it seems not so. It was mild IVF but I was disappointed to only get 7 eggs and after all the fall off there was only one suitable embryo and that chance is now gone- no more shots from this round. I need to reflect but I think I will try one more round before passing the baton to my partner. I get that I am lucky to have a shot at being a parent even if I can’t give birth myself but, like all of you on here, I have just invested so much in getting pregnant that I am desperate for it to happen for me. I want to have that experience of growing a baby in my body, of making a person out of my cells. Well I just want what everyone on this forum wants really. I don’t think I will go with ABC again- they really are only suitable for straightforward cases I think. Would appreciate any clinic recommendations by inbox if you would be so kind as to send them. Sending love and solidarity to all as we rollercoaster our way through this really tough journey. I have been so grateful for this community. Xxxx

[Blue1978]

Hey sweetheart I’m so sorry to hear of this news 😢 I’m the same day as you but my testing isn’t until Thursday but I also don’t have much hope now as I’ve been bleeding for 6 days ,,,,,,, Rest up and take some time to process what’s happened and at least you have the opportunity then to go again, it’s my one and only shot at this due to financial and it’s too much emotional stress for me to go again tbh so at least it’s not over for you yet,,,,, sending you huge hugs lovely I can imagine how difficult it must be as we can’t help but have our hopes up to get through this journey. Take care of yourself and good luck for the future 🤗💟

[TheFoxes in reply to Blue1978]

Hi lovely. Very nice to hear from you. Thanks for your words. I really really hope for a positive for you on Thursday. I know the bleeding is very worrying. Such a truly tough process. Women are warriors 💪🏼. Sending you support and solidarity. X

[Millbanks]

💔 xxx

[Cinderella5]

I'm sorry to hear that! BFNs are so crap, it's really difficult!! I've had my fair share along the way, cry, eat chocolate, drink wine....just do whatever makes you feel better for now. Hugs.xx

[Hope_1234]

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your negative test.

Me and my wife are 2 females and going through RIVF. My wife had her eggs removed and I'm going to be carrying.

Our first transfer didn't work. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it (although it is devastating)😥

Some people just get lucky and get pregnant first time ..

I am currently in my 2 week wait after my second transfer.. 🤞

I'll private message you the clinic we are using 🙂

[TheFoxes in reply to Hope_1234]

Really lovely to hear from you. Have everything crossed for you. Really good luck. Would love a clinic recommendation. X

[Hope_1234 in reply to TheFoxes]

I've just sent a private message with the clinic we are using 🙂 🥰

[stephben12]

I've gone through ABC in Bristol and currently in my TWW test day this Friday! I feel the exact same though and its interesting reading your experience. Im 28 and was told everything was going well and yet I only had 4 follicles with 6 eggs collected, 4 fertilised and transferred 1x 6cell on day 3 and a 5BB frozen for another go. I felt like there should have been more & also, I was kept on low dose bemfola for 2 weeks only upping the dose a few days before collection. I think you're right, theyre only good if your case is very straight forward.

I havent tested yet but im sure its going to be negative 😩😒

Good luck in your future cycles!! 🤞🤞🤞

[TheFoxes in reply to stephben12]

Keep the faith my love- you honestly don’t know until you know. I have everything crossed for you. X

[TheFoxes in reply to TheFoxes]

Ps- 5BB is great!

[Mrs_Peacock]

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear about your negative result. Like you, we had lots of friends who had successful first cycles so it does feel like there is an added layer of expectation for same-sex couples, even though the statistics are pretty clear that nothing is certain, even on the most straightforward cycles.

My wife and I have just had treatment with ABC as well - we found them to be great to be fair. They were clear from the start that their aim was to go for quality over quantity, which was one of the reasons why we chose them. It may be worth reviewing your cycle with your clinic to see what might need to be adjusted for next time around? Or if they can help you understand at what point the eggs/embryos struggled? I remember reading somewhere that development up to Day 3 was mainly about the egg and that the sperm quality then had an impact on development past Day 3.

If you are worried about egg quality, there are some things you can do that might help with this. Lots of people talk about the 'It starts with the egg' book, which gives lots of recommendations for supplements etc. My AMH was at the low end of normal for my age (34), as was my AFC, so we always knew I wouldn't get lots of eggs so we wanted to try to ensure the ones we did get were the best they could be. I took COQ10 (the Pharma Nord one) for three months beforehand, as well as Inositol, Vitamin D, the usual prenatal vitamins, eating healthily etc. Now there's no way to know for definite if that is what did it but we got 5 blastocysts from 7 eggs which definitely was over and above what we had hoped for in terms of quality. Obviously, this is just my personal experience and I couldn't say that supplements etc. will definitely help, but there is a lot of good research and information out there about this if you are interested.

I've seen someone else above mention reciprocal IVF, which is also an option if you really want to be the one to carry the baby. My wife and I had been prepared to go down this route if my first cycle didn't go well. It may not be for you but is something to consider.

I wish you the very best with your next round and am so sorry that this one didn't work out for you. IVF is a tough thing to go through, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Be kind to yourself!

[TheFoxes in reply to Mrs_Peacock]

Hi there. Thanks for this. It’s SO hard! Congrats on a successful round. Sounds like a great haul. May I ask which pharma nord coq10 you took and at which dose? I have coq10 in my vitamin stack but always interested in a new recommendation! I have read it starts with the egg and I was fairly strict with myself but I also don’t remember reading about inositol so will check that out too! X

[Mrs_Peacock in reply to TheFoxes]

It was Pharma Nord Bio-Quinone Active Q10 Gold 100mg (bit of a mouthful!) - I took one tablet three times per day. When I was looking into COQ10, I noticed a lot of people recommend it in its ubiquinol form as ubiquinone is generally harder for your body to process and use. This one I took is actually ubiquinone but in a highly absorbable form. I chose it because it was the brand that was used in one of the research studies I had read about egg quality. It's quite pricey but they often ran an offer on their own website or via Amazon (I think it was 60 + 30 free).

Inositol is recommended a lot for women with pcos but it is sometimes recommended generally for egg quality. I took a powder version from Zita West that also included some folate.

I also took high strength Vitamin D (a Better You spray with Vit D + Vit K) as I found out I was severely deficient in order to bring my levels back up to normal - I believe this can also impact on egg health.

Obviously I have no way of knowing for definite the impact of the supplements I took but I can only assume they had a positive effect given the results as the chances of me getting 5 good ones out of 7 is a bit outside the norm.

Best of luck with it all!!!

[TheFoxes]

Thanks really useful! I am on the bettter you spray for a couple of years now- I think it’s superb. I did take coq10 as part of my vitamin stack but think I may up my game with it! Thanks for the recommendation ❤️

[Mrs_Peacock in reply to TheFoxes]

No problem- I hope it all works out for you.

One of the other key things I came across as well was to do with supplement duration for egg quality. The recommendations I came across all suggested trying to supplement for three months before the cycle as this is how long the eggs take to develop and mature. Obviously, this might not be possible if you've already got a planned date for your next round.

[TheFoxes in reply to Mrs_Peacock]

Nah- I have decided to give myself slightly over 3 months to let my body properly recover and get ready before the next one. X

[Kat_15]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you the biggest hugs. Be kind to yourself. xxx