No heartbeat - stopped medication.. How long until i start bleeding?

[Snow345]

Hi,. I finally managed to get pregnant at the age of 41 with this 4th transfer. It was a FET but the first with intralipids and cortisone. Everything was going really well until last week when the baby had grown but there was no heartbeat. We had seen it the week before but now at 7 weeks and 5 days it was gone. I went back yesterday and it's definitely not there. I've stopped the estrofem, the progesterone pessaries but now i want to know how long do I wait for the bleed or shall I get the tablets? The doctor has said its best to go take the tablets and start the process but I'm not sure what's best. Anyone been through the same and waited to miscarry naturally?

[Hidden]

I am sorry for your loss. I have had a number of MMC so it seems I am pre-disposed to my body not acknowledging what is happening. I was advised each time to wait 2 weeks and see if I started bleeding, and the first time they made me wait 4 weeks before we gave up and opted for surgery. The more recent ones I have gone with intervention (I have had surgery every time) straight away as I just couldn't face the waiting around, I needed it over physically so I could try and begin to process it mentally. I am 43 and have had 5 rounds so I feel your pain. Really hope you get the support you need xx

[fay2399 in reply to Hidden]

Ah sad stories here, I’m also 43. Have you got the embryos tested? I haven’t got any tested yet and my next cycle starts mid November. You planning to do more?

I wish luck for everyone here 🙏🙏🥺

[Hidden in reply to fay2399]

We did talk about PGS testing with our consultant but we don't normally get many to day 5 (3 of our 5 rounds have been day 2 or 3 transfer) so he felt like the benefit of testing versus the risk wasn't really worth it. He wants us to go down the donor egg route now but I feel like maybe I have one more round with my own eggs in me x

[fay2399 in reply to Hidden]

I know is hard to accept if we cannot use our eggs.. hope next round works xx

[fay2399 in reply to Hidden]

Are you using coq10? My dr said there is some evidence that using testogel may help. I’m trying it for next cycle

[Snow345 in reply to fay2399]

I used coq10 and got much better quality of eggs this time and had more to freeze. I would definitely recommend

[Shelly2k32002]

I had a miscarriage in December and got to my fist scan at 12 weeks and like you no heart beat ,I then wanted it to be as natural as possible so I took the tablets ,I would never do that again now I know it was awful I ended up after all the pain with a blood transfusion and in the end had a d and c ,this is my experience and I would never have the tablets again and advise against them but obviously it's your choice ,I am also 41 .

I'm very sorry for your loss and I know exactly what will be going through your mind right now sending you hugs if you need a chat I'm here xx

[Snow345 in reply to Shelly2k32002]

Thanks so much. I just feel quite numb. I am hoping it happens naturally and if not will go to the doctors next week

[cache_cache]

So sorry for your loss, Snow345. I had a missed miscarriage an year ago and had to wait 4 weeks to miscarry naturally. I hope you have the support you need XX

[Snow345 in reply to cache_cache]

Thanks so much

[Peanutchips]

Hi lovely, I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s heartbreaking. I came off all ivf meds and nothing happened so ended up taking the meds. My advice with the meds is to take the first tablet (can’t remember the name but it also begins with M) 48 hours before taking the misoprostal. Sometimes they don’t give that to IVF ladies as it’s assumed coming off the meds has the same effect. It didn’t for me and I was back a week later to start the process again. Also, I highly recommend taking the meds vaginally rather than orally. Orally can make you sick and so your body might not absorb it all (also happened to me). Sometimes meds don’t completely work and you need surgery. Don’t be scared of this, it’s usually done under general and over very quickly. Could be an option if you don’t fancy the medication and want it over with (the medication is tough and painful process to go through but they give you super strong painkillers) My inbox is open if you need. Big love xxx

[Snow345 in reply to Peanutchips]

Thank you so much for such detailed information. I'm going to wait a week and then go to the doctors

[Hidden]

Aw lovely. Im so sorry to read this. This is so unfair. Those who have experienced it will never forget that face the nurse makes during that scan, nor the absolute black out moment hearing those words. No one can describe the pain in the days after of a lost dream. 💔

I posted a similar post if you want to have a look at my profile a few months back. I opted for the natural way and it happend in around a week. It was my first mmc at 8.5 weeks and baby did stop growing after 6 weeks but no one could have prepared me for it other than these lovely ladies. Here for you if you xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

So sorry you've gone through this hun. If you want the physical side over with asap id ask if you could have surgery, the tablets are really quite painful you do get codeine to help but like someone else said take them vaginally they really do make you feel ill n sick. If you can wait it out then try to its still quite painful but not as bad as with the tablets. Im so sorry lovely sending you huge hugs 😘💗

[Lillilly]

I am so so sorry you're going through this. I was in the same place a few weeks ago. I'll be 41 next month and this was my first FET and first ever pregnancy. We used DE.

Found out at 6 +1 weeks that the embryo had disappeared. Continued with meds for another week until the night before our last scan which was on the Friday. The scan was for our own peace of mind. Medically, they were certain. I was offered the tablet or surgical management. I opted for surgery which I had 3 days later on Monday. On Saturday morning I started bleeding a little. There was more on Sunday but the EPU said to still come in for the surgery. The surgery was painless and recovery was nearly instant. Spotted for about a week. The surgeon said there wasn't any visible pregnancy matter left by the time of surgery so I may have already passed the sac on the Sunday or Monday prior to surgery. It was roughly 3 weeks from the first scan to the D&C. As emotionally painful as it was, the surgical aspect was a relief because I didn't have the cramps, pain or agonising wait. I don't know if it's the same for everyone.

Again, I am so sorry. xxx

[LCharlton]

I'm so sorry. I had a natural miscarriage at 8 weeks - I started bleeding, went for a scan to see what was going on and there was still a heartbeat, but I miscarried about eight hours later even though I was still on progesterone. It was very painful for about four hours but then it was all over. However some people really don't seem to have it happen naturally and do need medical intervention - I think it's risky to wait if it isn't happening on its own, I had a friend who found out at her 12-week scan that she'd lost the baby more than a month earlier, it really can take a long time. Look after yourself, it's so hard xx

[LuRisk]

So sorry for your loss, I had the same in March and its the most horrible thing I have been through. We found out at 7 week viability scan but they werent 100% so had another 10 days later which confirmed it and then ref to NHS where we had to have a further 2 scans before they would do anything. We had booked in D&C but then I miscarried naturally but probably took 4 weeks from stopping meds.

Rest and take as much time as you need and hope you get any and as much support as you want. I had counseling and that really helped me.

xxx

[Babyhope8]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had two miscarriages with you guys ivf, I took misoprostol to terminate as I never started bleeeing on my own even after stopping medications. It’s better to get over with , first time I also had to get dnc becos some remains of pregnancy were not completely out. My suggestion would pls try to get the medications started as not all people have spontaneous abortion

[Debrakay1704]

Sending you lots if love and am so so sorry for you loss. Please take care xx

[GiantPanda]

I'm so sorry for you. I've just been going through a mmc. I'd advise if you decide to think about the other options, check whether your hospital is still doing the surgical option under general anaesthetic. I opted for that 'to get it over with' but had to have it under local as they'd cut back due to covid. It was horrific, and wasn't successful, so I had to go back after 3 weeks for the pessaries. I spoke to the Miscarriage Association after I'd found out, and really found them to be helpful and compassionate. Take good care of yourself for as long as you need. Xx