Not the best news but not the end for us just yet.
I got the call from the embryologist today to inform that our two embryos are only 4 cell today. Gosh, it is so hard to not picture them as our little babies and to not feel so attached, because well... they are essentially our babies.
So, we were offered the option of putting both in today but success rate would still be low. But if successful, there is a 40% chance of twins. We decided to go for it as if by miracle we do have twins, we are at the best age now (rather than later) for my body to house and deliver them safely but to still also have energy for them afterwards.
But I’m trying to keep a balanced view - preparing myself for a BFN to just self persevere. But also trying to keep faith even though the odds are stacked against us. I have so many emotions going on inside me that I feel I am going to explode.
I don’t have any specific question, I just needed to vent my thoughts and to try process my very messy feelings.
I wish I could just press skip in this part of my life to know how this ivf round will end. I could cope knowing if it failed (I think) or obviously very joyous if it our embies succeeded. I think this not knowing is what is driving me insane.
For now, I am finding it hard to stay positive and see the bigger picture,
Yours truly,
Mrs MT
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Mrs_MT
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I'm so sorry to hear your embryos aren't the best quality. I'm wishing you all the best for your transfer today and will be keeping my fingers crossed that once they're inside you they will snuggle down and start to grow and develop. Sending you love and best wishes xxx
Thank you for just reading. Had my transfer now (I really do not get on with the speculum). But so thankful the consultant is experienced and was quick with the transfer. Any longer and I think I would have expelled the speculum across the room - that's how tense I was. Thank you for your words, please do keep me updated on how you get on (only if you want to!). Hugs to you xx
I'm glad it was over quite quickly. Yes please let me know how you get on too. How are you feeling today? Xxx
Not sure if your clinic mentioned it but 'older' women and I think they class that as over 35 sometimes have slower developing embryos in that they divide slower in the early stages. Its not always the case but that could be happening with you. They often catch up and can go onto be successful pregnancies.. so hoping that is the case for you.
As a serial day 3 only get a few embryo person I feel your disappointment - but even in the last week we have had at least one BFP on this forum from a day 3 transfer so channel that PMA, do some mindfulness, rest up and wishing you masses of luck xx
No they did not tell me this piece of information and how reassuring to now know it. Thank you. Just before the transfer though, I asked if the embryos had progressed any further, and one had divided into 6! I am 37, so hopefully the embryos are just taking their time to mature. Can I ask what your story is? Ok if not comfortable to share. I wish you all the best on your journey! xx
Thats great news about the 6 cells! They just needed a bit of time to limber up! Masses of luck!
Happy to share my story but I think you will need a cuppa, a comfy chair and be prepared to be there for a while, its not got a happy ending yet but I am ever hopeful!! I have a summary on my profile which is probably quicker! xx
I just went to your profile and had a read of your story. Oh Daisy, you are so resilient and brave. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of mindset you have to be able to endure the lemons you have been dealt, and to still rise to keep trying. I am hoping so hard for your happy ending. Thank you for your masses of luck, I am storing them!!
None of these junctures are easy, are they? There are more questions than answers, worry and doubt alongside excitement/fear of being excited at almost every stage - I think we need to give ourselves a lot of grace to simply feel the way we feel. Sometimes there is no bigger picture or rationalisation and all we can do is ride the wave through it - and give ourselves permission to laugh, cry, hide in the duvet, distract ourselves, do whatever we need to do.
You've got people here who understand xx
As you say, one of the hardest aspects is not knowing if all the work, emotional energy, investment (both emotional and financial), will result in anything positive. But I have found one positive is my husband and I being in this together - we've been closer than ever since my miscarriage and through the IVF. I'm trying to find my blessings where I can, but recognise that most days it can be hard to find them, and that's okay too! x
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Seriously low day today - sister in law had baby in night and I feel like crap! 😢😢😢
Crazy thoughts 
Still trying to stay positive but finding it hard after first round failed IVF
Feeling really awful.... 
