So upset

[ChloeL934]

Hi guys,

Hope everyone is well.

I’m so upset this morning, I’ve woken up from a message from my sisters girlfriend saying she’s pregnant, I’ve known my sister has been trying for the past 2/3 months, they have used a sperm donor and done it alone at home, I’m just so heartbroken, she’s never been there for me during my whole infertility process, not even asked how things are going and when I’ve been at my lowest point has been nowhere to be seen but I’m always there for her, I’m too nice for my own good and always end up getting hurt!

She doesn’t even have a job, doesn’t have her own house, has medical conditions and on medication that could put her babies health/ life at risk & should of fallen pregnant under advice from a doctor who has told her before she needs to think seriously because she may need to stop medication as it can cause damage to the baby she hasn’t gave this a second thought and done it anyway, and now she’s pregnant, I understand this is something that she wants but I can’t help but feel it’s so unfair, I do everything I can my husband has stopped smoking stopped caffeine we are saving trying to become healthier and it seems like the more we try the more it’s just not happening we can’t go private we don’t have that kind of money although we are saving it honestly feels like it’s never going to happen I’m 25 now 😢

I feel like no one understands what it feels like unless your going through it, it was my cousins baby shower yesterday and I decided not to go for my own sake and still certain family members sent me pictures.

I guess it’s just one of those days where I want to cry & be sad.

Hope you all have a great day x

[Hidden]

I was 26 when all my struggles started I’m 34 now it’s been a very long road I know it can be really hard and trust me Iv been there thinking life is unfair getting angry/jealous but honestly you have to focus on you’re own journey I know it’s easier said then done but don’t compare your life to others. People say they understand but they don’t. You just have to ride it out. your have bad days and good days do what you need to do to protect yourself be a little selfish and don’t feel guilty about it, the hardest part of all this is to stay mentally strong I’m happy to chat if you ever need to xxx

[ChloeL934 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much xxx

[RhinoCat]

Oh Chloe,

It’s just so hard at times. So many of us seem to be ‘pregnancy announcement ‘ tortured more than usual when going through ivf. Only people going through ivf get it . I would even say my friend who had 4 rounds to get her son has forgotten the difficulties with it all. Some days are unbearable but not all of them . You just need to allow yourself some time to cry and rage then get your brain into a better space . There’s no point being angry at others who have fallen easily upon the baby dream. They wanted it the same amount as us they just got it easier. I wouldn’t wish ivf on my worst enemy !!!!! You deserve it as much as them it’s just not that biologically as easy, and that is all. You have done everything you could so far it just hasn’t happened...... yet! Don’t give up hope, you’re just having a bad day. That’s all. There will be a better day soon. My friend had a baby before lock down , my brother and his wife had a baby 4 weeks ago, two of my close friends announced baby’s coming in sept and January ...... I can’t get angry at them and it’s ok to be upset , it’s not about them, it’s about you. You will be ok.

Be kind to yourself and go and distract yourself from thinking about it too much . 💐

Hugs of total understanding ,

🦏🐈💐

[ChloeL934 in reply to RhinoCat]

Thanks so much xxx

[Sahithya]

Hello lovely

We both on the same boat

Don’t worry, everything goes well, just focus on your journey

Lots of hugs to u

🤞🏻

Best of luck

[ChloeL934 in reply to Sahithya]

Thanks so much xxx

[FertileMind]

Hey Chloe

It's good to rant, to feel upset, to let it all out...cry, be sad, be angry, be disappointed, feel the pain and then...dust yourself off and be positive...

List everything you're grateful for, everything you have done to prepare for your little miracle...this is YOUR journey...and it's a rollercoaster, and we all come out of it wiser and more empathetic to others.

You are 25, which is a fab age...I wish I could turn back the clock 22 years and be in your position! We need our heads and our hearts to be in the right place, great nutrition and exercise, and most importantly - let your powerful positive thoughts lead your body...you are wanting to be a mum and you will do everything in your power to make your dream come true...

You've got this! Be happy for your sister - your time will come too ...the universe's timing is perfect, so they say xx

[ChloeL934 in reply to FertileMind]

Thanks so much xxx