I finally managed to ring the clinic today and if I’m honest I felt quite belittled on the phone. It was the same woman who my husband spoke to so she kept making a point of saying “like I’ve said to your husband.” I wanted to say well my husband is pretty low at the moment and he didn’t really understand what you said, lacks confidence to question what you’re saying and you’re talking to someone who is pretty sick of being palmed off with you need this and you need that. Especially when your consultants at both appointments have told us we can start “next period.” That’s laughable because I’ve had 3 periods since and still no further forward.
Now I have had it explained to me I came off the phone knowing what my next step is and that it’s looking like another 2-3 months before we can begin our first cycle.
To top it off I’ve had such a rough day at work. I was there until 5:30 which left me no time to arrange an appointment with the doctor.
I’ve basically had a parent tell me I’m crap at my job and surprisingly my boss actually spoke up for me which I thought was really odd as that has never happened before. It may have been because before this I had explained to her that THE LAST thing I needed was to be slated by a parent, not when I work so bloody hard whilst carrying this stress.
I now know kind of why she spoke up for me so strongly- well I shouldn’t second guess but this is how my mind works at times.
My best friend who I met on my first day, has 3 kids already and her partner has 2 of his own informed me she is pregnant.
Seems it’s been a tough time as she thought she was miscarrying so kept it quite.
For months she’s avoided me and I thought what have I done? I was about to ask her later this week what’s gone wrong between us and now I know why. She feels awful that it’s not me or my other bestfriend who is also having no luck.
It’s obvious my boss knows so she must have sensed I’m struggling and spoke up for me in an intense meeting or maybe realised I’m good at my job.
I have dreaded hearing this news off a friend after the two years we have had but if anything it felt okay because of how she told me. She was so lovely and she’s told me to be honest and that she doesn’t want to upset me at all.
I’m a bit numb with it all at the moment. In shock that she’s entertaining having number 4 but wondering how I’m going to cope.
The fact we have drifted lately makes me think we can just carry on like that until I’m stronger?
What really got to me was that my husband was upset about it. Probably for me as I’ve got to see her everyday and he can’t give us what we both want and for himself.
He’s so low, I don’t know what to say or do?
Anyone else have partners struggling this much?
As for our other friend, if she soon announced she is pregnant too, can I handle seeing my two favourite girls in the world experience this together whilst I’m here boring you guys on here?
So many thoughts, I’ve not eaten, can’t sleep! Great for weight loss but bad for my head- my head is pounding.
I think a holiday to Ibiza is on the cards this summer.
x